EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

Yeah. You read right. This is for everything that doesn't have anything to do with Eva.

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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Stan » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:04 pm

View Original PostSachi wrote:That's not something she ever brought up before? It seems to me that going out on Valentines Day would have been an appropriate time for her to make it clear she already has a boyfriend. Then again, maybe she was oblivious that you were interested and already had it in her mind that you two would be just friends.


She knew I liked her cause I said that pretty early on. I also asked about her past relationships and she neglected to say that one was still ongoing. That is what baffles my mind. I dated plenty of women in my life, I'm pretty direct, never had a girl be secretive that she's dating someone else.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Guy Nacks » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:16 pm

There is no excuse for that if she knew what your intentions were. And if she's secretive to you about something like that, who knows what else she might be secretive about if you were to be in a relationship together?

There are assholes and there are cunts. This is the latter.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Chuckman » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:43 pm

Fuck head games, there's theee billion other women.

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Postby Mr. Tines » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:37 pm

View Original PostStan wrote:6 months
I'm going to be horribly cynical here, and I know my experience is atypical at the rate that things went from zero to bedroom, never having had any occasion that I would label "a date" in the way in-between; but I would have thought that after 2-3 weeks (allowing for menstrual cycles, as one must), if things hadn't gotten at least somewhat physical, it would be clear that you were, as the modern idiom has it, in the category of "beta bucks". Not that there's anything wrong with paying for arm candy or female companionship, but you just have to know that that is what you are doing.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Chuckman » Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:19 pm

Alpha/beta is a horrible and dumb categorization of human behavior based on a flawed study of wolves in a freaking zoo. Humans aren't dogs and actual canines don't behave that way anyway.

This lady didn't see you as a potential sexual partner, Stan. Either you didn't make it clear that's what you were going for, or she was aware and deflected. Either way, move on.

On a more basic level, Tines is right. If you aren't going to go in a couple of weeks it ain't happening and you'd best adjust accordingly.

The so-called "friend zone" is never a bad place to be, though. Girls are friends with other girls and that's a good way to meet more. Also they can be interesting people in and of themselves.

Still... if she never mentioned she had a BF that's pretty weird. Other fish in the sea.

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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Stan » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:20 pm

View Original PostGuy Nacks wrote:There is no excuse for that if she knew what your intentions were. And if she's secretive to you about something like that, who knows what else she might be secretive about if you were to be in a relationship together?

There are assholes and there are cunts. This is the latter.


Truer words... have not been spoken.

View Original PostChuckman wrote:This lady didn't see you as a potential sexual partner, Stan. Either you didn't make it clear that's what you were going for, or she was aware and deflected. Either way, move on.

On a more basic level, Tines is right. If you aren't going to go in a couple of weeks it ain't happening and you'd best adjust accordingly.

The so-called "friend zone" is never a bad place to be, though. Girls are friends with other girls and that's a good way to meet more. Also they can be interesting people in and of themselves.

Still... if she never mentioned she had a BF that's pretty weird. Other fish in the sea.


I was initially shocked, although managed to keep my cool and save face, then I was depressed for a little - but now, a few days later, I am okay. In retrospect, taking into account her personality, I think she wasn't sure what she wanted. My deduction is that she doesn't like the other dude much, but I guess she didn't like me enough to dump him. I think she was trying to keep us both and figure things out. I tip my hat to her for keeping me in the dark for this long because I don't tolerate this nonsense. She just successfully wasted my time.

Nah man, I don't play the friendzone game. I'm direct and straight to the point. There are girls who are my friends, and there are girls who I wanna date, I make the distinction clear to them. In this case, she was just an indecisive idiot - who knows how many others there might have been aside from me and the other dude.

Three days of intense cramming for my exams and Bruno Mars on constant replay helped me take this heartbreak quite well, actually. Thanks for talking with me, I feel much at ease after sharing :)
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Mr. Tines » Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:21 am

View Original PostChuckman wrote:Alpha/beta is a horrible and dumb categorization of human behavior based on a flawed study of wolves in a freaking zoo. Humans aren't dogs and actual canines don't behave that way anyway.
There's enough evidence that women find different sorts of male faces more attractive at different times in their cycle or when pregnant that while "Alpha fucks/beta bucks" may be a drastic oversimplification, it is at least a first approximation to the truth.

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Postby NemZ » Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:36 am

View Original PostMr. Tines wrote:There's enough evidence that women find different sorts of male faces more attractive at different times in their cycle or when pregnant


Or on the pill, for that matter.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Bagheera » Wed Mar 01, 2017 8:04 pm

View Original PostMr. Tines wrote:There's enough evidence that women find different sorts of male faces more attractive at different times in their cycle or when pregnant that while "Alpha fucks/beta bucks" may be a drastic oversimplification, it is at least a first approximation to the truth.


:rolleyes: So, what, because some women in some study somewhere find some faces attractive and some not the whole alpha/beta bullshit has legs? I think that theory has a few holes in it, particularly given how many different moving parts there are to human behavior. IOW "Alpha fucks/beta bucks" is a first approximation to the truth in the same way the alpha/beta/omega dominance hierarchy is a first approximation to wolf behavior -- that is, not at all, really, apart from contrived and artificial circumstances that don't approximate the natural state of things at all.
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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby Sachi » Sun Jul 09, 2017 12:04 am

This isn't really about relationships, as it is about socializing in general.

What is it about being around people that causes me to close up? I've been at a party at a pub the last couple hours. Only reason I'm here is because of family. Normally I don't go out like this, because I already know what's going to happen. I'm going to retreat into a shell and be mute most of the night, quietly passing the time by with my phone. I don't like being around a lot of people in informal settings like this. It's not that I don't want to socialize; I just feel incapable of doing so. I want to have fun and mingle, but I fail constantly. I have nothing interesting to talk to these people about. I'm basically a wallflower. Yet the alternative would be to be at home alone, like every other night. I don't even really feel human at this point.

These people are talking about relationships and drama between the sexes, almost as if it's a common occurence for them. All it does is validate to me the futility of engaging in those games to begin with, and how such luxuries are for those more worthy than I.
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Postby BobBQ » Sun Jul 09, 2017 2:09 pm

It kind of sounds to me like you're trying to socialize with the wrong crowd, with people you don't have anything in common with.

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Re: EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

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Postby MuscleRobo » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:17 am

The worst part about trying to socialize is it seems like a weird "You need money to make money" scenario. I moved to a new area for work and I try going to board game groups, or anime nights at the local nerd bar but people always seem to go with people. I try to talk to people in ways that don't seem intrusive like "Oh hey, what games are you playing tonight? I haven't played that one can I join you guys?" or at the anime night at the bar I'd try asking things like "Oh have you seen this before? do you like this show?" And people always seem like I weirded them out or try to get back to their clique. It seems hard to approach people by yourself. I'm sick of people saying I have to go out instead of complaining only to have such miserable experiences I have to hold back tears when I finally get home and cuddle up with my dogs.

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Postby TheFriskyIan » Thu Jul 20, 2017 11:13 pm

Sooooooo, I went and saw Spiderman Homecoming with a cute girl from work. I awkwardly asked if I could accompany her on Wednesday and she said going to the movies is better with others. After we saw the movie we walked around the surrounding area just talking for about an hour and a half before she had to leave to get ready for work the next day. It was never explicitly said it was a date and I hesitate to call it one in case she might not want to call it such, despite the fact that I really really want it to be. I was very awkward in asking and I compliment her fairly often. She's definitely a smart cookie, but still I'm left curious thinking she didn't think anything of it.
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Postby ran1 » Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:16 pm

View Original PostTheFriskyIan wrote: It was never explicitly said it was a date and I hesitate to call it one in case she might not want to call it such, despite the fact that I really really want it to be. I was very awkward in asking and I compliment her fairly often. She's definitely a smart cookie, but still I'm left curious thinking she didn't think anything of it.


Speaking generally, the faster you qualify your intent of "let's go on a date" the more she'll appreciate your forwardness. Add or subtract a bit of coyness depending on the girl. With the rise of the fuccboi category, it's far worse to dance around the subject for too long.
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