Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Cybermat47
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Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby Cybermat47 » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:34 pm

Asuka's Mother's name is Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu. Zeppelin is a German company that makes airships, which are extremely large - thus, it is clear that Hideaki Anno wanted us to think of Kyoko as a large woman. However, when we see her in Asuka's flashbacks, she's quite thin.

It's obvious that Kyoko's appetite, as well as her maternal side, were trapped in Eva 02 - this explains why Eva 02 isn't as thin in End of Evangelion, after Kyoko's soul has awakened more.

But that's just a part of Anno's brilliance. Let's look at some facts.

- Stupid people think that overweight people are greedy.
- Stupid people also think that Jews are greedy.
- Gendo Ikari has a Jewish symbol, the Tree of Sephiroth on the ceiling of his office.
- Gendo is a stupid person.

The Tree of Sephiroth is there to remind Gendo of Kyoko. Therefore, the greatest secret of NGE is revealed - Gendo and Kyoko were lovers.

Shinji and Asuka are brother and sister.

Now, look at what this shows us.

There are three female characters who can be seen as love interests for Shinji:

- Rei, a clone of his Mother.
- Misato, his main Mother figure.
- Asuka, who I have just 100% proved is Shinji's sister.

The true meaning behind Evangelion, then, is at last revealed: incest is okay.

I lost some braincells thinking this garbage up.
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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby OtherNigel » Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:06 am

Eva is just about the Jewish New World Order.
(Not lying, I heard that on 4chan once, on /pol/)

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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby silvermoonlight » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:13 am

That Asuka at the end of Evangelion is in fact Misato and Asuka merged to one person due to Asuka's eye looking brown (I brought this fan theory for the longest time until I realized how flawed it is)
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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby Reichu » Wed Jul 12, 2017 7:50 am

I took a long time to come round to the idea that it's a piece of Rei inside Eva-00 and not Naoko. :sweatdrop:

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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby Joseki » Wed Jul 12, 2017 9:42 am

I had a stupid theory on Asuka based on my inability to distinguish the plugsuit she wear in 2.0 from the patched one in 3.0. :facepalm:
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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby TheCarkolum » Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:11 pm

I've always thought (until relatively recently) that the 400% synchronization rate is because there were 4 souls merged: Yui's, EVA's, Shinji's and Zeruel's. Why Zeruel? Because EVA 01 had absorbed his paper arm and a fragment of his soul were in this moment within the EVA. Sounds cool, right? :w00t: :w00t: But, since EVA has no soul, my theory was debunked eventually xDD
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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby silvermoonlight » Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:47 pm

View Original PostCybermat47 wrote:It's obvious that Kyoko's appetite, as well as her maternal side, were trapped in Eva 02 - this explains why Eva 02 isn't as thin in End of Evangelion, after Kyoko's soul has awakened more.


This one made of laugh because I could just picture some idiot going to Asuka your momma is so fat and then unit 02's fist suddenly smashing down on the gang way and sending them flying. :hitthetable:
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My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:27 am

Mari is an actual, miniature, self-sustaining Evangelion unit. This is why she likes LCL so much. She sees the act of entering and piloting another Eva unit as something far more deviant and sexual than even Matt Greenfield's wildest interpretations of the franchise.
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Re: Your Stupidest Eva Interpretations

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Postby Chuckman » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:28 pm

View Original PostFreakyFilmFan4ever wrote:Mari is an actual, miniature, self-sustaining Evangelion unit. This is why she likes LCL so much. She sees the act of entering and piloting another Eva unit as something far more deviant and sexual than even Matt Greenfield's wildest interpretations of the franchise.


Chuckman says: This is now canon.


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