Alright, so all of this is seeming pretty believable so far. I'm not sure I have much more criticism to offer, you've spent a lot of time altering the events of EoE to suit your needs. But like PW I am also wondering if you've spent much time developing each pilots significant others? OCs are hard to write, but they don't have to take a big role, since the story is primarily about the children of the pilots.

As for Rei and her clone body. Maybe she has to undergo constant LCL baths or undergo some kind of treatment to keep her lilin body's cells from degenerating?

pwhodges wrote:I have no particular complaint with the EoE rejig as you've done it - if that's what you want, fine.

Ten years isn't enough for the pilots to reach a satisfactory child-rearing state, and for the children then to grow to a suitable age for a story, of course. Also, each pilot needs a partner to make a child, and it will be hard to avoid them having a place in the story, I imagine - who are they, and where did they come from? Can it be assumed that all the children's surnames will be the same as their pilot parents'?

Thank you for your thoughts! The moment I started rewriting the first chapter, i realized 10yrs alone wouldn't even been enough to have their children at the age that they are for the fic. So the time line has moved 20-30yrs after EoE, to allow for the Children to actually recover (somewhat) enough to have kids.

And the partners of the parents are part of the twist! Wouldn't want to give it away so easily, but I've figured it out, and I think it works out pretty well actually. I know the situation of Rei's child has you guys wondering what bs this noobfic writer is going to throw down no worries, no cheesiness, no terribly down played bs.

Also to note. I figured too, during the merging of the Lance, I could still throw in the prerequisite of needing "the forbidden fusion of Adam and Lilith" by having it forcefully include the merging of Unit 02. As the Lance begins to merge, Unit 02 is drawn in and becomes corified, and when Asuka rejects her inclusion, she draws the Lance out aborting 3I, hurting both the pilots and damaing both Evas. I think it would throw some of the previous themes of tension that existed before quite nicely (the opening scene of EoE for example). Only as extra though.

Glor wrote:Alright, so all of this is seeming pretty believable so far. I'm not sure I have much more criticism to offer, you've spent a lot of time altering the events of EoE to suit your needs. But like PW I am also wondering if you've spent much time developing each pilots significant others? OCs are hard to write, but they don't have to take a big role, since the story is primarily about the children of the pilots.

As for Rei and her clone body. Maybe she has to undergo constant LCL baths or undergo some kind of treatment to keep her lilin body's cells from degenerating?

Hmm, that's an interesting development for Rei I didn't think about before. I know she still needs plenty of drugs, and this is a point of interest for her daughter (you guys are going to love the third chapter in that sense).

I'm still hoping to have one my more pressing questions answered: if 3I is triggered one way, what happens if other avenues of approach are being used during the same moment?

^Hm, not sure what you mean. Like, if Yui is attempting to influence 3I in someway after Shinji initiates it? It's implied she had plans to supplant SEELE all along. After they destroy the MP Evas, there's not a whole lot SEELE can do to influence Impact anymore. If Rei abandons Gendo and decides not to merge with Lilith, there isn't anything he can do either. Although Adam is still grafted into his hand if she refuses the union. I don't remember if you addressed that or not. So, with Adam, Gendo has a chance to trigger an Impact, though it would be in favor of Adam-based life as opposed to Lilin.

Also, what happens to the remaining Evangelions after Near 3I? Are they quarantined somewhere? Sealed away in a UN military base? Dismantled and destroyed?

Glor wrote:^Hm, not sure what you mean. Like, if Yui is attempting to influence 3I in someway after Shinji initiates it? It's implied she had plans to supplant SEELE all along. After they destroy the MP Evas, there's not a whole lot SEELE can do to influence Impact anymore. If Rei abandons Gendo and decides not to merge with Lilith, there isn't anything he can do either. Although Adam is still grafted into his hand if she refuses the union. I don't remember if you addressed that or not. So, with Adam, Gendo has a chance to trigger an Impact, though it would be in favor of Adam-based life as opposed to Lilin.

Also, what happens to the remaining Evangelions after Near 3I? Are they quarantined somewhere? Sealed away in a UN military base? Dismantled and destroyed?

They've been dismantled I guess, with any relevant info/technology that could support humanities efforts to rebuild being taken and adapted to technology in the fic's timeline. The neural interface technology and organic bipedal frame is also very ideal for preforming very complex and specific tasks, and so mechs loosely based on the MP Evas were made. Makes rebuilding entire cities and infrastructure much faster. All you need now is a pilot to put the thing there and tell it what to do. No emotional compromises to the system, no mothers' souls needed for ignition. Just press push to start.

Japan has a growing population of young, bright people who eagerly want to make a change. Why not set up a 3-3 year program in the high schools. 3 years of accelerated high school courses and 3 years of piloting classes and college courses. No worries, I'm not going to go through all of that. The universe of Eva functions so as to disturb any development that might lead to normalcy lol

Oh yeah, what happens to Lilith after Near-Third Impact? Since it seems like you didn't have Rei merge with her.

Glor wrote:Oh yeah, what happens to Lilith after Near-Third Impact? Since it seems like you didn't have Rei merge with her.

True.

Shh.....