Help Establishing World-building for Post N3I Fic

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kushinjikun
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Help Establishing World-building for Post N3I Fic

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Postby kushinjikun » Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:38 pm

So I'm already three chapters deep with nothing structurally compromising the extra-canonness of the fanfic...yet.

So before I start dropping twists and turns and what not (and pretty much having the story go on), I want to make sure I have my canonically-based foundation right.

I guess you're wondering what it's about. It started off as a strong urge to write a high school fic. Without spoiling too much, it takes place 10+ years (haven't specified yet) after a Near Third Impact and the main characters aren't the Children, but their children: Ikari Kazuto, Soryu Akane, and Ayanami Michiko as they embark through high school and more in a future marred by the haunts of Old Nerv, the now (presumably perhaps) disintegrated SEELE, and rampant Evas. With nations rebounding, and the threat of the angels gone, the world has become more peaceful, more progressive. In place of corruption, their is accountability. In place of secrecy, there is transparency and oversight. Things are brighter and better...and different.

So what I would like some help with:

1) Timeline: is the following deviation from Ep. 25'-26' canonically plausible?
Okay so if I pick up from 25-26'ish...well just let me know how canonically plausible this is"
- Shinji is found by Misato in one ofthe tubes the Children discovered in ep 8
- Asuka is able to fend off the MP Evas in time (still sustaining some damage)
- Rei, after her dialogue with Kaworu, starts to contemplate her relation to the Angel's. Is she really an Angel like Lilith? Like the ones she's been trained to kill and have every reason to hate?
- Shinji, once ushered into Unit 01 by a frantic Misato (who kisses him still) is sent spiraling into a self-pitying hateful rage, sending Unit 01 into Beserk Mode and summoning the Lance which he then takes control of
- Shinji intervenes, killing the MP Evas screaming how he won't run away while totally blind to the abnormal synch ratio or the strange effects the Lance is having
- In the face of the regenerating Evas, Shinji finally puts an end to them after utilizing an Anti-AT Field to help him consume the S2 engines of the MP Evas. As Unit 01 ascends into divinity, the Lance starts to merge and initiate Third Impact (perhaps Yui had other plans)
- Meanwhile, as Rei heads to Terminal Dogma with Gendo (after Ritsuko dies perhaps?), Gendo attempts to merge Adam and Lilith. In the absence of the effect he was expecting, Rei remains unresponsive to his demands, contemplating soul and body, and the individual. Since Third Impact was already in the process of [about] to happen, the forbidden fusion is rendered obsolete (and might've been all along) as Rei decides that with a different soul in a different body she has decidely become someone else
- Seeing Shinji go into a self-glorifying rage blindly, Asuka grabs the Lance before it fully merges in Unit 01's core (which is now a very visible super core the protrudes grotesquely from Unit 01's chest. Could have it's own name too?) In the process, Unit 02's hand begins to core-ify at the touch as she struggles to pull it out. The corification spreads, but she eventually pulls the Lance out as it both the Lance and Unit 02's hand crumbles, and Unit 01 violently falls from ascension, it's core exploding and Shinji convulsing violently as if a space in his chest a been removed. Surrounding JSSFD forces top-ground are wiped out, and the confrontation falls into a stale mate
- Eventually the entirety of the corruption in the UN, Nerv, and SEELE are leaked and most governmental reform and exodus ensues as the world rebuilds from its war with the Angels



2) [Already Answered] Laws, Organizations, and the World
____2a) Are the Evas considered WMDs or even worse?

3) Plausibility/Continuity
____3a) Assuming that Unit 01 is close to reaching a divine state simply by possessing an S2 engine, would a abnormally high (emotionally induced) synch ratio usher her forward in a beserk state, and would not the merging of the Lance emulate the ritual needed to create the Tree of Life?
____3b) Rei as we know her in 25'/26' (can't remember which Rei) isn't as emotionally developed as the Rei in previous episodes (like 24 and such), but there's still hints that there is some connection to past copies and the emotions they developed. Could she resist Gendo's efforts and embark on salvaging her own selfhood?
____3c) If Instrumentality was already being triggered by one means, if other means where met, would they be rendered obsolete? (such as the MP Evas sacrificing Unit 01)

I had a lot more questions and what not, but after doing some research I figured a lot out. So any comments/suggestions/advice for this would be great!
Last edited by kushinjikun on Sat Jun 27, 2015 2:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Ray » Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:09 am

I'm having some similar trouble with MY post N3I fanfic (of course mine is set in the rebuild verse). I've got the basic idea for how the world would work in Post N3I/N4I earth. But basically the whole 3.0 clusterf__ left me with little if anything about how the world after Shinji's biggest messup would be.

I have a basic grasp of how the world works though

____1a) I had originally wanted to have this fic derived from the Rebuild version of N3I (since like, it's already Near Third Impact) but I was thinking, I might have a better time deriving it from 25'-26' onward

____1b) Is ten years of peace enough for the world to begin rebuilding? Assume after the incident the world realized it's mistakes, and so are more insightful in the steps needed to make the world a better place


My idea would be that the impact devastated the side of the planet Japan was on, but Europe, Africa, the east coast of the USA wouldn't be corified. Most of the Infrastructure would be intact, though the population would be fairly rattled.

It's implied by Until You Come To Me that there are parts of the world where this might be the case. The world would be united together in a unified cause of fighting Gendo/Seele/Neo-Nerv. But some would probably just give up and wallow in excess while waiting for the end of the world. It was implied to be a part of society in Tokyo-3. Except post N3I/N4I it would be much much worse.
2) Laws, Organizations, and the World
____2a) Are the Evas considered WMDs or even worse?


There is Wille, obviously. I assume they would answer directly to the UN, and be consistently in a strained relationship with them due to them eating up resources to fight the threat. Similar to the UN, except they are under constant surveillance/supervision from the UN to keep a repeat of what happened with Nerv from happening.

Technically the governments would consider the Evas WMD's. But it would be so much worse than that. I can imagine cults and religions worshipping the Evas coming out of the apocalyptic level of damage they can do to the planet.

Society would be a bit of a mess. In addition to the mass hedonism caused by living on the edge of an apocalyptic razor. People would hate their governments for making their lives hell in order to secure the long-term survival of the species. There would be riots about food shortages due to the loss of resources caused by the damaged ecosystem.

This is just a rough Idea for you to get inspiration from. I haven't had much time IRL to work on my own fic so go crazy.
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Postby amitakartok » Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:15 am

I have something in this regard, though mine is not in any way compatible with canon, both TVverse and Rebuild (though it's closer to Rebuild tech-wise). So its usefulness as inspiration is rather limited.
Strategic Cyborg Evangelion : an average author's aspiring attempt at awesomeness. Chapter 32 now up.

Mana, Mayumi and Sakura: the TRUE goddesses of Eva

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Postby Glor » Sun Jun 21, 2015 10:24 am

I like the sound of the idea, just out of curiosity what's the inspiration behind the children's names? Anything in particular or did you just happen to take a liking to those names? Also, what's the justification for Rei having children?

As far as your timeline, carrying through with the events of EoTV will probably work easier for you. Ten years also feels like sufficient time for rebuilding to happen.

Evas are absolutely WMDs.

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Postby kushinjikun » Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:34 pm

View Original PostGlor wrote:As far as your timeline, carrying through with the events of EoTV will probably work easier for you. Ten years also feels like sufficient time for rebuilding to happen.

Evas are absolutely WMDs.


Is there any other classification for them?

And Rei's story...well let's just say I don't want to say too much. But after N3I, once Nerv has been dismantled and Evas deemed illegal, she became deeply interested in the case of Shinji and his father. Never really having a family herself, she decides she wants a kid.

The inspiration behind the names? I just like the way Kazuto sounds. Akane started off as a search for a Japanese name with some meaning approximation of "smell of tomorrow". Couldn't find one, and with the implication of red in her name, I thought Akane was a fitting name for Asuka's daughter. Michiko...also just liked the way it sounded, and I have a strange feeling Rei would receive some degree of perplexing joy over having a nick name for her daughter (Michi-chan).

View Original PostRay wrote:In addition to the mass hedonism caused by living on the edge of an apocalyptic razor. People would hate their governments for making their lives hell in order to secure the long-term survival of the species. There would be riots about food shortages due to the loss of resources caused by the damaged ecosystem.

This is just a rough Idea for you to get inspiration from. I haven't had much time IRL to work on my own fic so go crazy.


Minus the squandering, there is a lot of hedonism, but after what happened governments around the world now know better. A lot of the themes for this fic is Tokyo-4 (and the world in general) are taking very deliberate steps to not fuck up again and to make sure people know and feel that they are not fucking up.

Also, I don't think I'm going to let N3I actually start to deal too much physical/corification damage. Hampers the rebuilding process

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Postby amitakartok » Sun Jun 21, 2015 1:55 pm

View Original Postkushinjikun wrote:A lot of the themes for this fic is Tokyo-4 (and the world in general) are taking very deliberate steps to not fuck up again and to make sure people know and feel that they are not fucking up.

Also, I don't think I'm going to let N3I actually start to deal too much physical/corification damage. Hampers the rebuilding process


Then yours is much more lighthearted than mine. Much more.

But I'm glad to see someone else also ventured to the territory concerning the pilots' future children.
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Postby kushinjikun » Sun Jun 21, 2015 2:31 pm

Mine isn't too dark at all actually, but then again I only have so much planned ahead. There's definitely some twists though...

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Postby amitakartok » Sun Jun 21, 2015 3:11 pm

From what I gathered, in your verse Earth is still habitable and people actually give a damn about rebuilding, instead of trying to backstab and nuke each other into dust and Faction 1 gunning down Faction 2's surrendering and retreating troops Faction 1's not-quite-Wille allies just let go, for the express purpose of blaming the massacre on not-quite-Wille in a gigantic backstab, prompted by not-quite-Wille and Faction 2 getting into a shootout that accidentally destroyed an orbital habitat in the crossfire, killing over ten thousand Faction 2 civilians and resulting in Faction 2 collectively screaming for not-quite-Wille's blood.

So it is more lighthearted.
Strategic Cyborg Evangelion : an average author's aspiring attempt at awesomeness. Chapter 32 now up.

Mana, Mayumi and Sakura: the TRUE goddesses of Eva

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Postby Glor » Sun Jun 21, 2015 6:28 pm

View Original Postkushinjikun wrote:Is there any other classification for them?

Minus the squandering, there is a lot of hedonism, but after what happened governments around the world now know better. A lot of the themes for this fic is Tokyo-4 (and the world in general) are taking very deliberate steps to not fuck up again and to make sure people know and feel that they are not fucking up.

Also, I don't think I'm going to let N3I actually start to deal too much physical/corification damage. Hampers the rebuilding process


I don't think there's a more apt classification for an Evangelion other than WMD. Uh, I think at some point they reference it as a synthetic life form, or a cybernetic weapons system? Not sure.

Fair enough about the names, I was just curious. And I think I could suspend my disbelief with the Rei business, can't really say much on it without reading the scenes in question. But I really like the idea of seeing the world through the eyes of the pilot's children, regardless.

Huge efforts in oversight seems plausible in a post N3I world, but people are as inherently greedy and selfish as they are altruistic, so even if there are riots or discontent from the citizens - the people in control can lie and throw around blame very easily. When a population is charged with emotion, they can be very easily manipulated. Or, if everyone in power in your world actually are more concerned with rebuilding, many could make claims of peace while plotting behind closed doors. I believe that just because things might look bad after a N3I, doesn't mean there would be any shortage of people willing to abuse power where they have it.

But this is your fic, so all I can do is make suggestions and you have said you're aiming for a more lighthearted tone anyway.
Rite of Reclamation - an Evangelion/Halo fusion, check it out, is pretty neat.

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Postby kushinjikun » Sun Jun 21, 2015 7:51 pm

Not necessarily the aim, but from what I've read myself and what I consider "dark" my fic won't be as dark.

But, seeing as it is the universe of NGE and well...my plot deals with certain themes that will definitely touch upon degrees of darkness. If anyone's interested enough, I could preview chapter 1, but once this work really starts rolling it will be moved to FF.net

EDIT: made to make an edit, accidentally quoted myself and double posted

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Postby Glor » Sun Jun 21, 2015 11:20 pm

Definitely couldn't hurt to post it, I'm pretty interested to see what you've done with it so far. Do it.
Rite of Reclamation - an Evangelion/Halo fusion, check it out, is pretty neat.

"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.

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Postby kushinjikun » Mon Jun 22, 2015 1:10 am

Planned to post but ended up playing fifa with the lil bro. I'll have it up tomorrow

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Postby kushinjikun » Tue Jun 23, 2015 2:31 pm

For all those who are curious, chapter 1. I don't have a title yet (I was thinking Commencement at the Obedience Academy, but I feel the title's too implicating? There was also Press Push to Start...idk yet. Suggestions are welcomed???)

Chapter 1
SPOILER: Show

Kazuto clutches the paper in his hand, stressing and relieving his muscles, and then studies the vague mountain range he imprinted upon the paper. How small would I have to be, he wondered, for these wrinkles to turn into worlds.

That one then? His pen wobbles within the arc of an unconventionally small angle. Distractedly, he twirls his pen in an unintelligible manner as he reads on, fumbling it in, out, and between his fingers deftly. His furrowed brow betrays his carefully constructed, icy facade as he reads the next instructions before him.

SHORT RESPONSE: QUESTIONS 121-129

He frowns a bit, an effort that seems as if it should sound with the depth of strained fissures creeping across compounded ice. He's no longer not caring. He's no longer cool and calm and so out of step with the collective anxiety the others share.

In short, he's no longer the Kazuto he wants others to believe. He's been rendered into formless, susceptible vapor because of short responses. But he huffs it out, his excuse for a laugh. Because the time it took to realize this mental lapse, the space that ferried by in between, and the time he realized everyone else was too distracted to notice was infinitesimally indescribable and experienced. All of it, just like that. That was his problem with short responses; were they a possibility for him?

The causation of all life. The incalculable geometry of the fabled Angels. Second Impact, and subsequently The Almost Third Impact. These were documented reports, entangled philosophy, unfinished epics that consumed the expanse of his mind at night ever since he could even point to the sky asking why the sun flew like so and they permitted anything but a short answer.

But he did know what short responses were.

"Look at what I drawed da-"

"Not now."

"Can Taku stay the night?"

"No."

And then eventually the short responses were so cut up and convenient that an entirely different person would be able to relay the message.

"Your father has just informed me that he doesn't want you going out tonight."

"Ok."

Regardless, he approaches the one hundred and twenty-sixth question with disdain for his previous five answers. Five questions too late, it would appear, as the lecture hall rebounds with the sound of a hundred other students flipping their booklets closed and slapping their pencils down.

"Ikari Kazuto. The test has concluded. If you don't place your pencil down immediately, I will be required to invalidate your test." The exam proctor is a testy woman who sounds like she's curving the very ends of her words as she speaks. Despite her bouncy, nearly raspy tone, she's a hardened lady with the iron greys in her hair to show for it.

His distant demeanor is instantly affixed without show of ever leaving his face. He gazes toward the proctor, the distance of a number of desks swallowed by teething arrogance, his eyes frosted over with indifference. However, Kazuto does close his booklet, and everyone knows it has sprung from his own ambitions, that the proctor lady really should have just saved her breath. She ignores it with equal coolness, deflecting their attention to the next crucial step of their testing procedure.

"Seal your booklets with the code provided to you."

Kazuto punches in the six digit number, and receives an electronic chirp confirming that, along with his sealed answers, he will adhere to the promise of non disclosure. Yeah, sure thing.

"Excellent. The Diagnostics Entrance Exam has concluded. You're all dismissed. You can wait in the lobby to receive your scores in about an hour, or access them online at a later time. Thank you and good luck!"

***

The university is the epitome of modern architecture, all sharp angles boasting scholarly inspiration. From the once empty lobby, a bright day boasts about, invited by the stretching efforts of expansive floor-to-ceiling windows. The giant pneumatic double doors that lead out the cavernous lecture hall is guarded by two grand staircases made of steel, glass, and space which lead to a second floor foyer.

As he's milling out the door with the rest, Kazuto admires the worried expressions of the girl with black hair who had been sitting to his right when Taku grabs his shoulder.

"Really? Was all that really necessary?" he asks, nodding towards the pneumatic double doors that led into the lecture hall.

She has really nice eyes. Dark eyes...

"Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about," Kazuto deadpans, still distracted with his manufactured fantasies.

Her bottom lip kind of has this elusive slope...


Then, as if hailed by his attention, her eyes focus briefly on him. Shit she saw me staring.

The blush swims to the surface of his skin. Best friends were granted immunity.

Taku, so finely tuned into the inner workings of his best friend, notices Kazuto’s current
preoccupation, rolling his eyes in conclusion. Not entirely brought back, Kazuto speaks to him out the corner of his focus, head just slightly tilted in Taku’s direction. "How good do you feel about this test?"

"Fair enough. You?"

"I guess I did alright," Kazuto shrugged, trying to lean against the wall to get a better angle at the black haired girl. She was surrounded by a group of her friends. They were pointing and giggling, the sound of little silver bells. She returns his gaze, but only barely. Maybe not at all? Still, his nuances came with a defense against all interactions of the hyper social, and he returned a smile. Barely. Warm, almost regretful, but wholly annoying enough at the folded corners of his mouth for her not to peg him just yet.

"I didn't really get to finish," he tells Taku a bit loudly, without looking at him.

The clamoring that wavered about him, the static of entrusted concerns and brief reliefs, subsided. Kazuto's ice breaker tone paved a trough through the wet thickness of other people talking over other people as he opened his mouth to continue.

"I didn't finish either," a flat voice declared somewhere behind him, somewhere before him. The voice would have easily been lost in the waving crest of others, but in wake of the muted vacuum it cemented the words into the air. Kazuto turns - easily about the friction of an iced surface - to find no one there.

"Uh...did someone say something?" His inquiry is met with indistinguishable murmuring, the wave of voices lapping at his ears, threatening to crest over into a humming new wave. Taku shakes his head in the manner of a sympathetic-yet-annoyed older brother. Kazuto catches bits of, "It's that weird girl, she's getting her scores," shortly followed by, "Yeah, the home schooled one." Kazuto catches Taku's eye, mocking him with a paternal finger wag.

He smacks his friend's hand down playfully. "Quit it," he orders, and continues to lean against the side of a staircase, sulking to himself, before suddenly being graced with the secrets of a conversation just above.

"Weirdo," one voice spews with disgust.

"I know!" Another voice almost shrieks in agreement. "But forget her. What about this Kazuto fool making a scene of himself." Both voices belonged to girls. The last seemed to harbor a scathing loathe for Kazuto's name, stretching it in hopes of launching it anywhere that wasn't between her tongue and cheek. He dipped his hands into his pockets, studying his shoes. As the second voice continued to speak, it rose in volume with each bite towards the name she didn't like the taste of.

"I mean, who does he think he is? Definitely not the brightest! Trust me, I looked it up. This is the entrance into the piloting academy for Christ’s sake, you can’t just hope to barely make it. What’s with this smug confidence anyways? He's Shinji Ikari's son, he could've told the proctor to suck it and he would've passed." Laughter abounds, abrupt, but gone unnoticed by the owner of the voice who seemed to find the topic anything but humorous. He would've found it attractive, the tin of her voice that passionately crafts explanations that aren’t short, whoever she was, if it weren't for the vehement distaste she apparently held towards him.

"His dad was a natural born pilot, and he's over here acting like a child thinking he's going to pass because he just 'barely made it'. As if! Some of us actually studied hard and want to be pilots someday. You'd think he'd share that passion too, at the very least pretend. If he thinks he's getting away with it, he can forget it. My mom will make sure that won't be happening."

The laughter was widespread now, and the girl Kazuto had been eyeing before was nowhere to be found, along with the plate armor of confidence he had been building for himself up to this point. Armor that was punctured obsolete by someone who had no idea they had done it.

"And that other girl! Who is she? What's the-" and before whoever she is could finish, she's interrupted by the encompassing voice of Jin. The track star jock of Kazuto’s high school, the All You Should Be of the social ladder Kazuto was careful not to climb. "Wasn't your mom the one going crazy about how you’re gonna kick ass over the phone? I could hear here still yelling in my head, it was so loud and annoying. What are you wound up about? Not so confident anymore? I don’t know about you, but I just finished a long ass test and I'm looking forward to the weekend. Just chill out."

It's funny how you can feel the direction of a conversation change, easing from one coast to another.

"Hey man, my name just got called. I'm gonna pick up my scores. You good?" Taku poked, leaning in and whispering for only Kazuto to hear, because with each passing second he's digging deeper into his pockets, trying to disappear.

"Yeah, yeah. Go, I'm fine. Let me know if you passed."

"Be right back." Taku struggles past bodies to make it to the desk that the disembodied voice over the intercom belongs to. It sounds just as hollow as the echo that bounces after it. It’s the first time he realizes that’s that annoying sound that had just been at the grasp of his awareness. Already people have received their scores, crying and cheering, though mostly crying.

In the crowd there are the nods of agreement, and one could almost see Jin's head begin to physically balloon. He continues, rubber for skin stretched uncomfortably taut over chiseled bone that’s threatening to burst forward. What’s this airhead on about?

"Besides, you know how dumb you look talking about the kid when he's right there?" He can hear Jin pointing at him, Kazuto. Feels it like a focused point of pressure on his chest, like I have more to say, listen to me Father! kind of pressure. It’s the well veiled anxiety in Kazuto. Relaxed and leaning against the staircase Kazuto. Kazuto who didn't study, Shinji Ikari's Kazuto, incapable of cursory explanation Kazuto, the Kazuto who still fails to give a damn about all of the above.

This Kazuto cranes his neck up against the wall so he can finally pin a face to the voice that carried his name with such venom, because he knows now that she's peering down at whatever it is Jin is pointing towards.

She has a sharp face. Not sharp necessarily in shape, but in expression. Though there’s no mistaking the emotions playing across her face, they're muted. She holds herself just short of bursting forth, quietly sprung. Her face was slender, and cupped within her bottom nose and rounded chin. Too easy, he declares for himself. Her hair is a strawberry auburn. Her eyes are wide in shock, as it turned out that the subject of her rant had heard it all indeed.

He delivers one of four short responses he’s perfected throughout his short lifetime: “Hey.”

She blinked. Then she recoiled away from his neutral grin, masking her embarrassment craftily as she made her way to anywhere that didn't have the Kid Who Didn't Study nearby. Kazuto decided she was kind of cute after all. Probably the way she scowls. Whatever. The din of conversation was already melting back into the air. He takes out a pair of headphones, closes his eyes, and finds some improvised jazz to get lost into.

Something bumps against his elbow.

He opened his eyes to see a pale, pointed face directed toward his. A face that was also long and framed with short, curiously blue hair that harbored her rubies for eyes.

Her face, and how still it was. Or emotionless? Not entirely, but Kazuto found himself stuck, wanting to understand how someone could be so...not-understandable from their face alone. Like mirrors, two of them, had intersected each other at a mutually agreed upon point, and the perpendicularity had led to an infinity that was empty and equally full of the infinities to follow. In short, he had never seen a face so empty and full at once. It unnerved him to the point of reluctant curiosity.
There was something to find in her nose, her eyebrows, the corner of her lips. Something strangely cold.

It captivates him, though something told him he should be appalled at how consumed he was with trying to figure out what it was about her face at all. There was the tapping against his elbow again. She had an envelope in her hand.

"I passed," she said in that same voice, and not so particularly for Kazuto to hear. Stubbornly flat and present, though hardly audible. "They called you down a number of times, but you didn't show up. Uh...I said I would give it to you."

She relieved the envelope the instant he went to grab it. Kazuto ended up thanking her back. Slipping a finger underneath the fold, Kazuto opens his report.
The first word read, "Congratulations!"

Directly above where she was looking down (because she is looking down), he could hear her voice.
Just enough for him to hear: "What the fuck!?”

***

Akane is pacing back and forth atop the second floor, like the toy soldier her mother gave her to help her daughter waste the time away while she did whatever it was mother did behind those large doors. The toy soldier would instruct Akane, eventually, to mimic it's robotic march. Mechanical and all consuming as she perfected the distance between steps, where the toy soon saw a little Akane marching beside it in front of mother's doors, demanding she come out and play with them. And eventually, the double doors were replaced with the nondescript walls of her room where all matters of life and the universe were debated, and that was what she was doing. She was pacing back and forth.

“You usually don’t lose your cool so easily, Akane. He was being a jerk, so what? You shouldn't have given him the attention."

Akane’s blue eyes, a resurrected expanse of sapphire, with gray and brown refractions grow livid.

“But he didn't finish the test, Yuko," she whispers in disbelief. "Yet every question he answered...they were right? Just enough to pass?"

Yuko tilts her head to the side, soft, brown hair draping to one side. She opens her mouth to speak, decides to say nothing, then decides to close it.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. I feel pretty good about it. I mean, I skipped a few, but who wouldn't?"

"Well, I did, I finished. Every last one. Did the last question of section three seem a bit tricky though?"

Yuko sighs heavily, and slides to lean on the rail. "Skipped." Akane joins her, looking down at all the milling people, colliding and meshing into one. The crowd has thinned as students begin to make their way home. "Wasn't that question optional? Like all the other last questions of each section. That was something about astrophysics?"

"Thermo nuclear expansion," her blue eyed friend corrects. She casts a look towards Yuko. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

Yuko smiles into her arm, a sudden inspiration beneath her gentle, round face which bears with it something fatally stoic. Akane smiles too, and bumps hips with her friend, what is it then?

She sighs again, the weight of all the known world released briefly, then readjusted on Yuko's shoulders as she shifts to look upward. "It's just...all I ever want to do, in the whole world, is pilot…”

“‘...Pilot the future’,” Akane chimes, completing the mantra that fueled their piloting dreams since they were little.

“Yeah. Pilot the future. But...I don’t want all this to happen so quickly. Like I do and I don’t. I want to help humanity rebuild, and make a better future, but I also want to go out to parties, goof around, and be out late. If we do this, get into the academy...well things are going to be different. Lots of work and responsibilities. And I don’t even know if I’ll pass! Whatever. I'm being stupid," she coasts, sliding easily back into her arms, eyes heavily lidded, distant with a clairvoyance for indefinites and all that lie in between.

Akane hugs Yuko. "You're getting in. I couldn't dream of becoming a pilot without you. We'll be-"

"Langley, Akane," a voice echoes.

"Langley?" Yuko eyes her friend suspiciously. Akane only smiles back. “Favor from mother. She was pissed and it was an uphill battle, but I convinced her. Can’t have anyone thinking any of this has anything to do with my mom. Whoever sees me next year will know it’s because I worked for it, not because my mother was made a hero-victim.”

But Akane doesn’t move. And if, by chance, I didn’t pass at all. What would mother say…

“Go on,” Yuko assures the concerned look. Akane is grabbed by the shoulders and led to the stairs. "Come on now, you can at least do this on your own. You have to start sooner or later. Brash one second, second guessing the next. You’re too...open-minded for you own good," Yuko giggles, and squeezes some more reassurance into her friend’s shoulder one last time.

Akane shoots her an annoyed look, all playful fire, and makes her way toward the desk. She threads herself through and out of people, their glares and looks of curiosity promptly shot down with a look that is iron laiden. However, soon she meets with another pair of eyes, gray and longing for some nonexistent place in space. And within a matter of time too short for words, they’re focused on her. He smiled. She bolted, a thousand iron rivets shooting through a singular stare, and she turned before she gave him the satisfaction of her acknowledgement towards his reaction. Kazuto, who’s the idiot think he is.

She arrives at the desk. A professional looking lady smiles at her. “Langley, Akane? Sign here please.” Akane signs, receives a card with a bar code and is motioned towards the door behind the desk. She opens it into a white expanse of a room where the angles aren’t distinguishable and her eyes feel uncomfortable looking around too much. On a steel counter, a printer fleshes out a single piece of paper, which is pressed by the machine, and pushed forward inside of an envelope. She races to it, snatches it, and leaves the room, almost bumping into some far off wall that shouldn’t have been there. The paper is still warm in her hand, the ink still thick enough on the paper that it clings to her nose when Akane brings it close to examine it. She slips her thumb beneath the seal, and slides out the paper.

99.987%

“One...wrong?”

The iron bolts can only take so much stress before they tear and twist. But she is more than iron. Just barely more than iron.

***

She’s been sitting outside the front of the university for hours. Or minutes. Or a handful of moments.
Either way, it’s dark outside and she feels his constant flicker of a gaze on her like a constant tapping. What do I do?

She’s looked at him too, when he first came outside. He was with another boy whose hair was too blonde. Then that boy left, and he was still there. More people left.

There was the scrapping of a rubber sole against the concrete. She had never pressed against the inside of her own skin so hard before. But he wouldn’t be able to tell, she knew. She maintained her gaze towards the street, seeing and waiting. There was a sigh. She cast a look towards the wall to her right because it was particularly interesting, and she just so happened to catch a glimpse of the girl who was ranting earlier. The inside of her skin doesn’t feel so close now. This can be okay.

“I’m-”

The girl speaking doesn’t move. She just shifts uncomfortably on the spot.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry?” Akane is running her fingers through her hair, feeling for something that isn’t entirely there.

The moments tumble by. Then she speaks.

“My mother says you shouldn’t say something you don’t mean,” the girl Akane tried to apologize to says flatly. It’s sharp, it’s cutting - always cutting her tone is - and most of all, flat.

Akane opens her mouth to object, but she's cut off. “I forgive you. But not completely. Not until you feel sorry completely,” and Akane is thrown off by this. She opens her mouth again, but the boy who seems to only ever lean against things interrupts.

“I didn’t get a sorry like that?” His words freeze over, but not with contempt. Something like an unfulfilled promise. Like the first flake of snow falling, she and mother shared, how it mystified her and begged her to discover it.

“I wasn’t talking to you Ikari!” The snappy girl barks at him. He sits down though, to the left of her, opposite of an angry Akane who doesn’t object.

“Yeah, well you're just a jerk,” Akane barks through her teeth nearly bared.

“I wouldn’t want your sorry even if you meant it!”

It’s the shortest war she ever knew. She threads a finger through her powder blue hair. Akane and Kazuto remain silent.

She fiddles with her test scores, scrunching the corner of her envelope. “How did you two do?”
There’s ruffling from both sides.

“I didn’t finish-”

“We know you didn’t finish Ikari!”

“-But everything I answered, I answered correctly.” He shifts. Their knee touches. She recoils on the inside. Kazuto faces her. “How’d you do?”

“I got three wrong,” she says. She pulls out her results, lets the paper hug over the top of her knees as she lets it lie there for both of them. “The three I didn’t finish.”

“Wow,” he breathes. “When you said you didn’t finish, I expected something close to mine but you missed the mark by the only three you skipped. Impressive.” Suddenly the cool night turns a bit warm. But Kazuto and Akane won’t know that.

Akane is running her eyes across her own paper. “Best scores out of all the participants,” flourishing test paper and all. Akane picks up the paper from the girl’s lap.

“Ayanami...fifteen years old, home-schooled....96.767%...” Akane huffs under a blanketed breath, her finger sliding across the page.

“Let’s see, let’s see. Section one...two...three.”

Ayanami speaks up, surprising even herself. “Was the last question for section three hard for you as well? It took me a while.”
[/spoiler]

Glor
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Postby Glor » Wed Jun 24, 2015 11:51 am

Lil bros always take priority.

Anyway, I like it! This story definitely has a lot of promise, all it needs is some refining here and there. Particularly at the final scene: it was a bit confusing as far as who was say what to who. Overall, I would recommend being a little more specific in some instances as opposed to vague. Either way, that's up to you.

Good stuff, thanks for posting.
Rite of Reclamation - an Evangelion/Halo fusion, check it out, is pretty neat.

"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.

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Postby kushinjikun » Thu Jun 25, 2015 1:34 am

Thanks. Yeah, way way in the beginning I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who was sitting outside, but I realized if I just mentioned her by first name anyways they wouldn't realize who's here mother. So that will be changed.

I still need help fabricating a plausible Almost Third Impact. EDIT: wow, some inconsistencies and spelling mistakes. It was mad late lol I'll fix those up eventually

Okay so if I pick up from 25-26'ish...well just let me know how canonically plausible this is"
- Shinji is found by Misato in one ofthe tubes the Children discovered in ep 8
- Asuka is able to fend off the MP Evas in time (still sustaining some damage)
- Rei, after her dialogue with Kaworu, starts to contemplate her relation to the Angel's. Is she really an Angel like Lilith? Like the ones she's been trained to kill and have every reason to hate?
- Shinji, once ushered into Unit 01 by a frantic Misato (who kisses him still) is sent spiraling into a self-pitying hateful rage, sending Unit 01 into Beserk Mode and summoning the Lance which he then takes control of
- Shinji intervenes, killing the MP Evas screaming how he won't run away while totally blind to the abnormal synch ratio or the strange effects the Lance is having
- In the face of the regenerating Evas, Shinji finally puts an end to them after utilizing an Anti-AT Field to help him consume the S2 engines of the MP Evas. As Unit 01 ascends into divinity, the Lance starts to merge and initiate Third Impact (perhaps Yui had other plans)
- Meanwhile, as Rei heads to Terminal Dogma with Gendo (after Ritsuko dies perhaps?), Gendo attempts to merge Adam and Lilith. In the absence of the effect he was expecting, Rei remains unresponsive to his demands, contemplating soul and body, and the individual. Since Third Impact was already in the process of [about] to happen, the forbidden fusion is rendered obsolete (and might've been all along) as Rei decides that with a different soul in a different body she has decidely become someone else
- Seeing Shinji go into a self-glorifying rage blindly, Asuka grabs the Lance before it fully merges in Unit 01's core (which is now a very visible super core the protrudes grotesquely from Unit 01's chest. Could have it's own name too?) In the process, Unit 02's hand begins to core-ify at the touch as she struggles to pull it out. The corification spreads, but she eventually pulls the Lance out as it both the Lance and Unit 02's hand crumbles, and Unit 01 violently falls from ascension, it's core exploding and Shinji convulsing violently as if a space in his chest a been removed. Surrounding JSSFD forces top-ground are wiped out, and the confrontation falls into a stale mate
- Eventually the entirety of the corruption in the UN, Nerv, and SEELE are leaked and most governmental reform and exodus ensues as the world rebuilds from its war with the Angels
Last edited by kushinjikun on Fri Jun 26, 2015 1:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Clover » Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:36 pm

People don't learn anything. Evas would be WMDs, but you can bet your ass that anyone with the resources would be building one. You can't put the genie back in the bottle, unless Adam AND Lilith's cells were totally wiped out, and there's a big supply of both sitting right where Japan used to be.
Why spend millions on worthless military soldiers and gear when you can have an entire army in one project?

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Postby kushinjikun » Thu Jun 25, 2015 9:55 pm

I think people would definitely think twice about making Evas again if they ever survived a Near Impact enough to recover. And hmm...what would be a good way to explain away Lilith's physical body? Perhaps, with the soul being in Rei, she can reject the physical body of Lilith and adopt the one made for her by Gendo? Could be a point of her gaining an individuality?

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Postby kushinjikun » Sat Jun 27, 2015 2:27 pm

Didn't mean to double post but I really want to keep this project alive, and I think it will be at least entertaining to skim through. I already know where I'm going, I just need help with a few of these questions to get moving forward.

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Postby pwhodges » Sat Jun 27, 2015 3:28 pm

I have no particular complaint with the EoE rejig as you've done it - if that's what you want, fine.

Ten years isn't enough for the pilots to reach a satisfactory child-rearing state, and for the children then to grow to a suitable age for a story, of course. Also, each pilot needs a partner to make a child, and it will be hard to avoid them having a place in the story, I imagine - who are they, and where did they come from? Can it be assumed that all the children's surnames will be the same as their pilot parents'?
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
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Can't wait for 3.0+1.0? - try Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

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Postby Glor » Sat Jun 27, 2015 3:30 pm

Sorry, been meaning to post my thoughts on this. I'll be at work for a while, so I'll try and write up a reply tonight.
Rite of Reclamation - an Evangelion/Halo fusion, check it out, is pretty neat.

"Anything can be Evangelion related if you have the will to twist it." -Joseki.


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