Ghosts of Evangelion

Postby **pwhodges** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:53 am

I like it, though I think that Asuka's attempt to escape from her pain could be even more visceral - I've sent you my suggestion on that separately. But the depiction of how the trauma was still at that time interfering with her attempt to make a new life is good overall.

Literary Eagle · Postby **Literary Eagle** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 2:04 am

Yowch. Poor Asuka! Thank goodness Shinji was able to intervene before any further injury was done!

The WAFF at the end was a nice way of balancing things out. It's always good to know that people care, and that they'll be around even when times are tough.

Oh yes, and that song is stuck in my head as well. Probably one of my favorite films from the Animator Expo so far. Fun!

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 9:31 pm

I don't like that birthday chapter one bit. I plan to rewrite it at some point, so watch that space.

Current chapter is kicking my ass; it's long, and complex, and involves Instrumentality. It is taking time to do it properly. But in the meantime, inspiration struck:

SPOILER: Show

August 11, 2024
"Can I ask you something?" he asked.
"Hmmm?" Asuka gave him a quizzical look, staring at him over the remnants of breakfast on her empty plate.
Shinji squirmed in his seat. "It's kind of sensitive," he said. "I mean--"
"Stop it," she huffed. "You're being weird."
"But--"
She glared at him. "Just spit it out," she said.
"Okay," he said. He took a deep breath. "When you were fighting the Evas--"
He broke off as Asuka's fist hit the table. "You can't be serious," she said. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but that did nothing to diminish the menace in its tone.
Shinji licked his lips, then continued. "I was just wondering," he said. "Your mother was there, right? I mean, she was with you."
Asuka stared at him, her eyes locked with his, then broke off with a sigh. "Not this again," she said, running a hand through her hair.
"Sorry," he said.
Asuka tapped the table with a finger, thinking. Finally she said, "yes, she was with me."
"What was it like?" he asked, leaning forward. "Being with her, having her there with you. What was it like?"
She closed her eyes. "It was nice," she said. "The best feeling in the world. She was all around me, protecting me, keeping me safe." She opened her eyes. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I was in those few moments."
"So you knew it was her, right?" he asked. "It wasn't just some vague feeling?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I knew it was her. She was right there with me, protecting me."
"Of course I was," Kyoko said, coming into the kitchen. "What mother wouldn't be?"
"Mama . . . " Asuka said.
Kyoko frowned. "What? I'm just saying--"
"Mama, stop." Asuka's voice was soft, but the command in it was unmistakable.
Kyoko looked from her daughter to Ikari, who was trembling, and then back again. Finally she shrugged. "Fine, fine," she said, indifferent. She opened the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of orange juice.
Shinji put his face in his hands. "Why would she leave?" he asked. "I just . . . I don't understand. She left me there, in the middle of . . . of a wasteland, and she just . . . " He looked at Kyoko. "Why would she do that? Am I really that awful?"
Kyoko frowned, then sat down, placing her glass of juice on the table in front of her. "It had nothing to do with you," she said flatly.
"But--"
"A mother loves her child," she said simply.
He blinked at her. "What do you mean?"
"Just what I said," she replied. "A mother loves her child. He might be unpleasant, a failure, even a criminal, but she loves him just the same. It doesn't matter who he is or what he's done. A mother loves her child."
Shinji made to strike the table with his fist, then laid his palms flat against it instead. "Then why," he asked, deliberately, "did she leave?"
Kyoko tapped her chin, thinking. "There was something wrong with her," she murmured. Her eyes brightened. "I knew her once, did you know that?"
He shook his head.
"We went to college together, as I understand it. She and I spent a bit of time together after you and Asuka were born, before Asuka and I left for Germany."
Asuka laughed. "So we'd met before?" she asked. "Me and stupid Shinji, I mean."
Kyoko nodded, smiling. "I actually remember that, too. I remember staring down at you, thinking you were the cutest thing ever, while Yui did the same with Shinji."
Asuka smirked at Shinji. "How about that, eh? The red string of fate bound us together even then." She frowned. "Kind of depressing, now that I think about it."
Shinji laughed weakly.
"Back then," Kyoko went on, "she was like any other mother, and it was clear she adored you. But at some point, after we left for Germany, something changed. I don't know what it was, but I know it had nothing to do with you." She frowned, thinking. "I don't remember the details," she said, "but I think she sent me . . . letters?" She nodded. "Yes, that's right. Langley found them. She didn't say anything specific, of course, but as I recall she wanted to ensure that you'd have a future of sorts, no matter how difficult."
Shinji leaned forward. "So it was for my sake, then?" he asked. "She wasn't some, some crazy person, some lunatic bent on saving the Angels?"
"Well, I don't know anything about that," Kyoko said, frowning. "But it seems she had very few options available to her. I think she just did the best she could under the circumstances."
Shinji closed his eyes and sank into his chair, visibly relaxing. Asuka took his hand in hers and breathed a silent "thank you" to her mother.
Kyoko shrugged uncomfortably and took a sip of her juice.

Hopefully I manage to get the big one whipped into shape this weekend.

KingXanaduu · Postby **KingXanaduu** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 10:14 pm

^

I'm guessing this subject between Asuka and Shinji is still a red flag to talk about, and one that Shinji still hasn't found an answer to easily accept, despite what people have told him, right?

Literary Eagle · Postby **Literary Eagle** » Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:06 am

I liked the idea of Kyoko helping to comfort Shinji. ^_^

Just a couple of typos:

Asuka gave him a quizzocal look (Should be "quizzical")

then lay his palms flat against it instead (Should be "laid")

Looking forward to the big chapter! Please keep up the good work!

Postby **pwhodges** » Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:17 am

Interesting. Kyoko unexpectedly sympathetic, and Shinji taking on board her comments about Yui much more easily than I would have expected...

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Sun Feb 15, 2015 11:08 am

The topic of Yui and her motivations is a tricky one, even for us, and the characters don't have all the information we do. I've had Shinji wrestle with this before, and I suspect it will never truly be put to bed; in the Fuyutsuki chapter I introduced the notion that she was motivated by some high-minded ideal, and Fuyu is the sort who would buy into that completely. But was it really so? She had to enter the Eva to make the plan work, and she knew others would have to do the same. But, as best I can determine, there's no way to get them out once they've entered short of destroying the core (or rather, there might be, given the proper circumstances, but those were unlikely to be present after all was said and done).

I think, at this point, that Yui's primary plan was to thwart Seele and ensure a future for humanity, however bleak, and that the "save the Angels" plan was a way to ensure the cooperation of Lilith and the Lance. Once the dust settled she essentially had no choice but to leave, since she had the Lance looking over her shoulder and no feasible way to escape the Eva (and just imagine if someone found both Shinji and Unit 01; they'd force him to pilot again, this time against his fellow human beings!).

This gives her a bit of an out re: the harpy fight: she knew the only way to release the soul in Unit 02 was to allow its core to be destroyed, and she likewise knew the pilot would be able to come back from Instrumentality. It's a grim plan, but all the pieces fit. I expect Asuka will be talking to Shinji about that at some point in the near future, as she's had time to puzzle things out and come up with a way to really sell it to Shinji that goes beyond the pretty words Kyoko offered.

Xander: I expect the harpy fight will always be a sore spot, yeah. And you're correct about Shinji and answers, as I explained above.

Paul: Do you mean sympathetic as a character, or sympathetic toward Shinji? I was going for neutrality in the latter case, pointing out the obvious but appearing softer than usual since she wasn't being caustic while doing it.

Postby **pwhodges** » Sun Feb 15, 2015 12:14 pm

Towards Shinji - but neutral is already better than she's been shown as before.

Postby **Monk Ed** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:22 am

Bagheera wrote:This gives her a bit of an out re: the harpy fight: she knew the only way to release the soul in Unit 02 was to allow its core to be destroyed, and she likewise knew the pilot would be able to come back from Instrumentality. It's a grim plan, but all the pieces fit. I expect Asuka will be talking to Shinji about that at some point in the near future, as she's had time to puzzle things out and come up with a way to really sell it to Shinji that goes beyond the pretty words Kyoko offered.

Assuming, of course, that Yui could hear the broadcast, was awake at the time to hear it, has no other complicating factors between her will and the Eva's body, etc. Yui's got a lot of potential outs given how little we really understand about what living as an Eva is actually like.

I know, I know -- "She'd been unconscious and just woke up" or "It would have cost her too many Willpower points to act any sooner" does not work nearly as well for your story. I just wanted to point out that we need not always assume simplicity in the absence of information. I've been watching a lot of The Walking Dead recently and it reminds of how many things, especially little things with big consequences, can get between someone and the perfect execution of their will.

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:52 am

Monk Ed wrote:Assuming, of course, that Yui could hear the broadcast, was awake at the time to hear it, has no other complicating factors between her will and the Eva's body, etc. Yui's got a lot of potential outs given how little we really understand about what living as an Eva is actually like.

Not given the fact she's powered off an S2 organ and has access to the same radio traffic currently being broadcast into the very room she's in, she doesn't. Before ep. 19 you'd have a case, but as of EoE not so much. And that's leaving aside the fact that the framing of the scene and the timing of events strongly suggest Yui was waiting for her moment. Because, well, when she wanted to activate, she did.

Anyway! Rewrite of Asuka's birthday in progress, and major edits/corrections on that big scene I promised are done. I should have both up tonight.

Edit: Well, one out of two ain't bad. Edits to Asuka's birthday up. Go for the content, not the structure; the latter is rather painful. I'll fuss with that the the current chapter later on today.

GrummanCat · Postby **GrummanCat** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 4:00 pm

Hey Bag! I want you to know that (while this may sound selfish and I don't want to come across that way) I have traditionally tried to avoid fan fictions while working on my comic because I worried about contamination and my own story being influenced by others' work. HOWEVER- your fic has been strongly recommended by an anonymous reader of mine and I took a moment to skim through the early parts.

I have to say I will be breaking my own rule and digging into this baby right after I release chapter 16 this Friday! I picked up some premium popcorn and red vines. Gonna sit in bed and see how much I can tackle in a single night.

You look to be one of the better writers I've stumbled across and I'm sure it will be rewarding to read. Carry on! :asuka_thumbsup:

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:01 pm

Um, wow. Thanks, Grum, that's actually a huge deal.

In response, I will . . . wait, actually. I had a chapter here at one point, but ultimately realized it ran contrary to the stated central premise of the fic. So, some Kaji in the future (as described below), and beyond that . . . well, we'll just wait and see.

Next: What does Kaji fear more than anything? If you said "Misato" you'd have a case, but in truth it's much more fundamental: a 12-year-old with a name in common with my favorite Soul Caliber character. How will Kaji cope?

MisterHalt · Postby **MisterHalt** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:15 pm

Wow, that was some mind-fuckery on par with Anno. Well done, Bagheera.

KingXanaduu · Postby **KingXanaduu** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:22 pm

^^

Did Shinji and Asuka just go through "Pre-Instrumentality Part-2"?

I'm starting to think that these controlled instances would be a hell of a field for future psychologists to tackle with. :lol:

And even better, this is a great and unexpected addition to your story Bags, cause it wouldn't be Evanglion without Transhuman-philosophical transitions in the story. :lol:

Edit:
And I'm beginning to see a pattern in Asuka's mannerisms in terms of her name-calling to Shinji. Now, "idiot" or "baka" isn't as synonymous with calling him a literal fool anymore, but more of calling him out on his "self-defeating" habits. That's both a very mature transition and yet still in character with Asuka's nature.

Also

SPOILER: Show

I ALMOST DIED A LITTLE INSIDE WHEN YOU SAID Shinji HAD DIED!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND GOB MESSING WITH US LIKE THAT!!??!?!? :lol:

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 5:43 pm

So, that feeling when you realize you've made an enormous, public mistake? Yeeeeeeeah. Ah well, that's whey we have an edit button. But even so, I wish I'd known better going in. I will try to make future chapters excellent enough to make up for the current failure!

KingXanaduu · Postby **KingXanaduu** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 5:55 pm

Wait, what? What was wrong with the previous chapter? Was it too early for Asuka and Shinji? Was it contridictory to the theme of the story?

Postby **pwhodges** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 5:59 pm

The latter, I think - but Bags can explain if he wants.

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:03 pm

Yes, very much so. Simply put, the central theme of the story was the embodiment of the lessons of EoE, i.e. "life is uncertain, but we must live it nonetheless." A story that relies upon a continuation of Instrumentality to provide proof of one's feelings to another is anathema to that basic premise. In order for Ghosts to be in any way meaningful Shinji and Asuka have to take their feelings for one another on faith, and they have to believe that what the other is feeling is valid and real. The most recent chapter shat all over that by laying things out and taking all the uncertainty out of the equation. IOW it was exactly what EoE was trying to avoid.

KingXanaduu · Postby **KingXanaduu** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:07 pm

Ah, that makes sense, like how most relationships work. You can't be telepathic and immediately note if what your partner is saying if it's true all the time.

You have to take a risk and open your heart to faith, even with the possibility of rejection. But that's what life is right? Taking risks, never always knowing the truth.

Still, it was a nice trippy series of scenes that was on par with Instrumentality. Still enjoyed them.

Bagheera · Postby **Bagheera** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:12 pm

Well, even NemZ, who hates EoE and wasn't fond of that chapter, told me to save it for possible future use. So, well, I did; I'm not sure how I'll use it, but I won't let it disappear. And let's face it, Shinji and Asuka working their shit out as toddlers is just too cute to pass up, so I've gotta figure out something there. Not necessarily in Ghosts, but somewhere.

Ghosts of Evangelion

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