Misato the slut?

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Postby Bagheera » Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:22 pm

View Original PostDream wrote:I suppose it's mostly because at work there is generally a pretty clear guideline or route to follow, unlike someone's private life (on most cases)


Accountability counts for a lot, to be sure.

Yeah, forgot to mention her possible concern for the kids, she would likely return for that reason although i didn't count because that reason for returning wasn't for herself but for someone else. And to be fair Kyoko is too fucked by cirscumtances that overwhelmed her and Yui's doing... Something, presumably important with the whole "monument to humanity" thing. Either that or she felt that for whatever reason she would be a bad mother for Shinji, who knows?


I think Yui just didn't care by that point. But that's another discussion, so.
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Postby Kendrix » Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:58 am

I always saw Misato's comments in ep 25 as a commentary on how antiquated parts of modern society often shame women who want to make their own sexual decisions into feeling like "sluts" and the internalized cathegorism that comes from that.

"Traditional values" are still widely spread in Japan, my mother once told me , that back when my grandmother was still working (her job involved traveling a lot ) it was either you marry and become the husband's property of sorts, or you work and get respected as a coworker and all... but you're no longer considered wife material.
Stuff has, of course, inproved in the mean time (like it did in any other part of the world, really, at times I'm shocked just how new laws about women's rights are, even here in Europe), but Japan is still a place where ppl usually marry early, and relics of these old structures probably remain.
But slut-shaming and internalized cathegorism are, of course, by no means exclusively Japanese problems.

What Misato really is is someone who focussed on work and never found time to find a guy or never "internally" separated from her last partner, we often see her lament about being single, and then there's her reaction to the wedding in episode 15.

Note that she *didn't* jump on Hyuuga's bones, but always kept politely deflecting him.

---

wearing short skirts or acting playfully flirty is not always really meant to attract guys to fuck, most things women do that could be considered "prettyness enchancements" are more about self-image and confidence:
Wearing a shot skirt means that you're not ashamed of your legs and sure that either no one will find them ugly or just plain don't care what others think about how your legs look, or that you want to make people think the previous statements are true for you.
It's more about trying to influence how people percieve *you*, not just your capacity as a sex-object.
(ep 25: "I just act the way I think I have to act to be accepted")
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Postby Der Kommissar » Thu Sep 27, 2012 12:52 pm

Worth speculating that some of Misato's flirtiness might be a defense mechanism in much the same way Asuka's brashness and seeming egotism are so much fluff. The impression that I got is that she uses her sexuality to distract people or keep them off-balance. It's deflection.

I wonder if her sexual hang-ups have anything to do with the fact that Kaji apparently reminded her strongly of her own father. That had to be a disturbing realization for her, particularly considering her feelings toward her father were already complicated.

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Postby Jayfive » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:26 pm

I wonder if her sexual hang-ups have anything to do with the fact that Kaji apparently reminded her strongly of her own father.


Thats a thing, its never explained how exactly Misato's father is like Kaji. Maybe Misato's dad flirted with every girl in sight.

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Postby Gtamor » Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:11 pm

View Original PostJayfive wrote:Thats a thing, its never explained how exactly Misato's father is like Kaji. Maybe Misato's dad flirted with every girl in sight.


Did he flirt with anyone other than Misato and Ritsuko?

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Postby Mr. Tines » Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:38 pm

View Original PostGtamor wrote:Did he flirt with anyone other than Misato and Ritsuko?
Maya, in the break room, in episode 17.

Which pretty much wraps up all the adult non-Evangelion females with any screen time.
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Postby Kendrix » Sun Sep 30, 2012 3:50 pm

That is true, but note that he only did it when Misato was within earshot, indicating that he may hve been trying to inspire jealousy.
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Postby evangelist » Sun Oct 07, 2012 5:58 am

View Original PostGtamor wrote:Did he flirt with anyone other than Misato and Ritsuko?


He flirts with Shinji in the TV series and Rebuild albeit jokingly.

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Postby Lurkis » Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:28 am

View Original Postevangelist wrote:He flirts with Shinji in the TV series and Rebuild albeit jokingly.


Still two of the most memorable scenes XD

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Postby Hyper Shinchan » Sun Oct 07, 2012 4:22 pm

View Original PostLurkis wrote:Still two of the most memorable scenes XD

Kaji molesting Shinji in Ha is even more memorable imo.
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Postby Monk Ed » Sun Oct 07, 2012 4:41 pm

View Original PostHyper Shinchan wrote:Kaji molesting Shinji in Ha is even more memorable imo.

Especially Shinji's reaction... and disappointment when it turned out not to be a date!
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Postby Der Kommissar » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:00 am

You go ahead and keep reading that into that scene. :freud:

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Postby Dream » Tue Dec 25, 2012 2:54 pm

The thread where it originated was too off-topic, and while this thread isn't perfectly accurate, it's close enought, i think.

View Original PostKendrix wrote:Given that situation, any "contact" of that sort would be taking advantage by default, especially since that makes her following lines imply she only wanted a replacement boytoy after Kaji died.

It would mean something that if she thought "Let's fuck someone else to forget the grief", she must've assumed that Shinji may have been thinking similarly (after Rei died) and thus would be emotionally compromised in a way that would make it very hard for him to think clearly or say no at all, and was in fact, only halted because she and Shinji weren't quite in the same stage of grief yet.

And that's pretty low and does not at all fit with a character that may be flawed, but does get treated by the narrative as a mostly good person we're supposed to root for.
That's crossing the event horizon, really. That act alone would make her so damn petty... and I don't think she is.
If she really was, why not screw Hyuuga? He's perfectly willing, and has been for a long time.
Even at his lowest, Shinji didn't actually touch Asuka when he... you know.


Hmm, i admit i'm not sure of what to think anymore. On one hand, Shinji looked pretty capable of rational assessment and decision even if he was extremely emotionally shaken. On the other hand, he did watch Rei die, and went throught other extremely mind-fucking events as well during and before Rei's death (like those little Reis growing in his hand, i don't think he was able to sleep for a long time after that). But also, regarding "she must've assumed that Shinji may have been thinking similarly" i think Misato believed that Shinji was capable of saying no if he was uncomfortable with the situation even when she was aware he must have been pretty emotionally distraught, plus at the moment, she did believe that she was also doing it for Shinji/he might have wanted it too, so i can't see as selfish/taking advantage. Certainly wrong and i would probably think different if she did go throught with it, but i can't see it as her trying to take advantage of Shinji, at least not intentionally/consciously.

I think the main thing that's creating the disagreement here is that i don't have the impression that Shinji's grief or emotional state would drive to the point of not thinking clearly or not being able to say "no", it would probably make it more difficult, but not considerably so.

That's also why i don't see it as low, probably. I mean, wrong of course, but even horizon? I'm not sure. Also, i'm not sure if the events in 23 could be compared to Shinji... well, you know... Over Asuka. Shinji doesn't use sex the same way Misato does.

Also, about Hyuga, i always viewed as something similar to Gendo just letting Shinji go in ep 4. Misato knows she can easily have Hyuga or use him for sex if she wants, but she is aware of his feelings for her and doesn't want to give him any false hope. So her not expressing any interest in her is more out of respect or concern for him than anything else. In fact i wouldn't be surprised if she did want to use him as an escort but decided not to.

View Original PostKendrix wrote:There is some sort of UST between the two, from both sides (Episode 20 makes it quite obvious at one point), but Misato's the adult there. Just playfully teasing him or having feelings she can't help is very different from actually screwing him.
The situation in EoE is completely different because a) She was mostly trying to motivate him, it might as well have been a pragmatic decision for the sake of the planet and poor Asuka who was stuck fighting the harpies b) She knew she'd never see him again so it's understandable that she may as well be honest before she dies c) A kiss, especially if she's in a situation where she wants their very last interaction to be memorable, is different from actually taking his virginity. d) The factor that would make the episode 23 situation the most disgusting isn't present: That she would be taking advantage of him being all desperate and not really able to make clear decisions (less than usually that is) because he just witnessed Rei's death.


Somewhat off-topic but the earliest cue of UST, at least on Shinji's side, i noticed was in Episode 7, there might have also been cues of UST on Misato's part, but aside from the joke in Episode 2, i'm not aware of them. But yeah Misato's the adult, and there is indeed a lot of difference between having those feelings and acting on them. However, i just can't see the kiss in EoE as intended to motivate Shinji. How could that work? Misato is aware to some degree Shinji sees her as a sort of mother, so i can't imagine how Misato could think that promise of sex/intimacy with her is something he would even want. However, b) and c) are certainly good points. So is d), but like i said i don't view that exactly the same way.

View Original PostKendrix wrote:Wasn't that pretty much the case since he failed to bring himself to console her in episode 21? They hardly talk after that (and it already gets lampshading at the beginning of ep 23 before that happens "So, Misato-san apparently wants to be alone again...")
He couldn't deal with that, I guess it is very overburdening for a child to find the person they're supposed to come to for support in no shape to give them any and to suddenly feel that they have to fix it, that breaks their naive view of how the world is supposed to work.
It's what often breaks kids that have drunkyard parents, or when their parents divorce and let the kid play intermediary and/or comfort blanket.


I wouldn't be so sure of that, if anything, i had the impression that after 21, things were simply more tense or grim due to the escalating situations (the angel, the problems of the descent arc, personal anguishes, the state of humanity, etc.) Rather than the relationship between Misato and Shinji being awkward/crumbled. Plus during most of 22, things were tense either because of Asuka or the angel situation, so i don't know if what happened in 21 had a hand in how things went between them after 23. At the beggining of 23, i assumed that was more a reference to Misato being more focused on her search for the truth, and thus can't be avaiable for Shinji as a company/comfort/whatever. And combining it with Shinji's comment in Asuka's door, it seems to be a commentary in how Shinji is running out of people he can seek shelter in general rather than how things crumbled with Misato in particular.



View Original PostKendrix wrote:Because he's Shinji. It's neither the first nor the last time that he had a very strong reaction to minimal touch. He was raised by a professional who got paid for it, and it would've been highly improper for that teacher to touch him in any way, as opposed to, say, random relatives or adoptive parents. Gendo probably meant well in choosing someone whose actual job was to handle children, but the end result was, simply put, Shinji not getting a single hug in his life up to episode 16. Add to that the entire "afraid of contact with people" complex, the fact that he was generally unsure as how to handle Misato after episode 21 and keep in mind that seeing a close friend/possible love interest he was very protective of die before his very eyes probably didn't put him a very open/receptive state, least of all after well, the last few episodes, each of which came with at least one significant loss for him.

I'd go with Misato's assertion in the following scene that he's just plain afraid of any sort contact, regardless of, or probably even because of his need for some consolation.


It's true that Shinji isn't exactly comfortable with touch or intimacy, but the way he reacted was just so... Strong/knee-jerk, almost unlike him, plus he sounded a bit terrified, it would be different if i ever saw him reacting as bad in another situation, but that's the only time he reacted with such intensity to another's touch. All the other surrounding factors (Rei's death, things going downhill since the descent arc, etc.) Might have caused for him to react as strongly, but for some reason something doesn't match up for me in that interpretation. But i do find Misato's assertion that he just didn't want any contact at the moment accurate.

View Original PostDuncanR wrote:An interesting thought experiment would be to switch their genders: imagine that Misato is an adult male, and that Shinji is a preadolescence girl. Other than these two changes, the characters are otherwise identical in every way. Most people are much more likely to assume that some sort of sexual abuse is taking place.

It's a bias with some basis in reality: If an adult man takes advantage of a young girl, the immediate thought is "he's abusing her". But if an attractive adult woman takes advantage of a young boy, people will be somewhat more likely to think "that lucky kid" when, in reality, the situations are identical.

Edit: It doesn't help that Misato's character is practically built around the idea that she never really grew up. She might see herself on the same level as Shinji: a sentiment I doubt he shares.


Heh, don't get me wrong, i don't think Shinji was lucky in the slightless for an older woman propositioning him, it's just that since i don't feel Shinji's mental state is as compromised, i can't see it as Misato trying to advantage of him, since i felt he could voice consent or non-consent. But it is indeed a very real basis, which is a shame. However, i'm not sure if, at least in that scene and the aspects of sexuality, she views herself in the same level as Shinji. Whatever her flaws, she is aware she's suppossed to be taking care of him and does a... Not too terrible job at it.
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Postby Kendrix » Tue Dec 25, 2012 4:29 pm

You might be inclined to say he was sufficiently capable of saying no because he did, in fact, rebuff her, but he didn't do that because he was less screwed up that he'd have to be to agree. He was more screwed up than Misato expected, by her own assertion regardless of how we interpret what she was trying to do.
i'm not saying that a relationship with a huge age difference can't work per se, there have been all sorts of cases, but if Misato were serious about it and had respect for him, especially in a case where the younger party is 14, she'd have to make sure that he really wants it, not approach him when he's bound to be very compromised because that's when she happens to feel lonely. That would make it all about her, and it would make him someone who gets used for another purpose without being aware of it, in other words, being taken advantage of.

Sure, Misato had doubts of that sort in her relationship with Kaji, but that was mostly just her complexes talking, after all, she didn't screw Hyuuga. She respected him enough not to pull the moves on him in a dishonest, half-assed way. And he's less likely to say no. And if she respects/considers him, she should consider/respect Shinji whom she actually lives with/may actually have feelings for even more.
If she wanted an easy fuck, she'd go get it from Hyuuga long before she'd go to Shinji.

The way he practically glues himself to Kaworu the next episode (usually, finding out you're anything other than heterosexual comes with a bout of doubts and self-reflection, especially for a boy given that our society sadly often equates "gay" with "unmanly" and "bi", as Shinji happens to be, with "greedy promiscous sex monster", but he was like "ah, someone is being nice to me! Someone who fits my preference structure is holding my hand and confessing his feelings to me! I can worry about what this says about my preference structure itself way later, I'm not gonna risk rebuffing these positive stimuli right now, haven't had these in a long time") makes it clear that he was desperate for someone, just anyone to be with him, Misato was just less sucessfull at making it beyond that uppermost layer of defenses.


There is, of course, always the possibility of a misunderstanding. Think of that scene in "catcher in the rye" where the similarly depressed/ repressed protagonist mistakes a former teacher/mentor either patting his head or taking his temperature as the guy putting the moves on him.
Though I'd say that Shinji simply wanted to be left alone /wasn't in any state to process unfamiliar experiences right after one of his closest friends died.
It's not just her death, it's that he was sent out to help her, and that she went down saying how she wants to be "united" with himf that and he didn't get to reply, so on top off the loss, there's a feeling of powerlessness, of having failed, not to mention the body horror that came along with it all. One of his other recent "failures", besides the whole Asuka deal, was being unable to console Misato, so he'd have that present on his mind, as in "I failed again! I couldn't do anything again! And there she comes, to remind me of another of my failures..."

Again, the fact that Misato's "family" fell to shambles was previously commented on in 22, yeah, they were mainly talking about Asuka, but it's not like that un-dinner had Misato and Shinji cheerfully squabbling and Asuka being the odd one out...
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Postby KatsuragiSansa » Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:30 am

View Original PostKendrix wrote:"Traditional values" are still widely spread in Japan (...) but Japan is still a place where ppl usually marry early, and relics of these old structures probably remain.


That. To me, the key is the environment surrounding the character. It would be silly to analyze a Japanese character living in a Japanese society by Western standards, no matter what other country we're from and I'm VERY surprised no one brought Japanese values into the equation earlier. Seriously.

To be honest, I didn't know Misato was considered a slut in the Western world, but I've read once (like a decade or more ago) that she was one of the least popular NGE female characters in Japan because of their "values" at a lack of a better word. Their collective concept of the ideal woman is a lot closer to a very submissive, quiet and "motherly" woman like Rei than it is to outgoing flirts like Misato, whom they find rather unappealing and definitely not wife material. I don't doubt that bashing sluts is a world-wide thing, but it's true that those societies with older values do it more often and consistently. I mean, even her best (only?) friend Ritsuko seems to disapprove on her behavior when her own isn't much better except for the fact that she still keeps the illusion of being respectable while banging Gendo (with all that implies).

I don't know if that was true or not, but it always made sense to me because of what I knew to be true about Japanese society's values. On the other hand, I expected our Western world to be more accepting of Misato because she's an independent (can be argued, I know) very career oriented woman living on her own with seemingly no interest in a serious relationship with men (yet, she isn't sleeping around as she implies to Kaji while talking about her smoking habits). And I thought those were values we did appreciate in today's world... because standards have changed and we don't expect our women to just stay at home cooking, cleaning and raising kids. Maybe a few decades ago Misato's behavior would have been terrible, but considering all the crazy and (a lot more) morally dubious things even younger girls do nowadays, I'd hardly call Misato a slut if we're talking Western standards.

I'm aware that things changed even in Japan and every day more and more girls are "easy" and/or slutty, preferring to play an active part in their lives and actually enjoy their sexuality despite what society thinks of them, but that's still a minority. So, I'm guessing that according to the standards of the society Misato lives in, where women her age don't drink as much, are tidier and mostly already married; yes, we could say that she's a slut for being the opposite of all that as well as outgoing and flirty.

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Postby Bagheera » Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:36 am

All good points, but I guess my question at this point is whether or not that applies when it's all an act.
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Postby KatsuragiSansa » Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:18 pm

^
Like most questions in this world, the answer is probably "It depends..." (in my book, at least).

It still comes down to whether you're applying Western or Oriental judgement on her. I mean, even if most of what's been pointing towards her being a slut was "an act", some things weren't and those, too, can be read as slutty in Japanese society.

An example of that is her sex marathon. I believe that despite the guilt that might have come with it, Misato enjoyed skipping college for an entire week just to stay in bed having sex. In most Oriental societies, that alone would make her a slut because she's having sex because she enjoys it/wants to (to connect with others, to escape reality, or for whatever other reason, but she's getting some kind of pleasure out of it) rather than just agreeing because the male counterpart wanted it and he had to be pleased. If not a slut, it would at least stain her sense of morals permanently in the eyes of those who knew her back then/knew of the incident... which partially explains Shinji's reaction upon learning that "she did that kind of things too".

Western countries would probably be more forgiving to her because it was just this one guy whom she seemed to care deeply about and there hadn't been others in the 8 years the pair spent apart. Plus, all the flirting and indecent clothing (or the lack thereof like when she only wears a towel in front of Shinji... not an act either), wouldn't come across as such terrible things to do as it probably would in Japan.

Of course that's a completely subjective judgement and I could be dead wrong, but since this is a forum and they're intended to share opinions (among other stuff like pics and info), I share mine.

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Postby NemZ » Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:30 pm

View Original PostBagheera wrote:All good points, but I guess my question at this point is whether or not that applies when it's all an act.


If you perform a role consistently does it really matter anymore whether it's not 'the real you' as far as the rest of the world is concerned?
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Postby Bagheera » Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:44 pm

View Original PostNemZ wrote:If you perform a role consistently does it really matter anymore whether it's not 'the real you' as far as the rest of the world is concerned?


I suppose not. I do wonder if Japan's really that sexist, though, at least in the modern era. I mean, I know a lot of those attitudes exist, but I also know they exist alongside far more progressive ones. Heck, consider Anno, or even Miyazaki! Demure, "traditional" women aren't really their thing, and yet they're some of the most popular and influential figures in Japan. I don't think the would be possible if at least a substantial minority agreed with their views, in whole or in part.
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Postby KatsuragiSansa » Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:48 pm

View Original PostNemZ wrote:If you perform a role consistently does it really matter anymore whether it's not 'the real you' as far as the rest of the world is concerned?


I was actually thinking exactly that after finishing my previous post and I agree. If you (viewer) know better and want to state that Misato "the character in that anime" is not a slut because of what you know of her true inner self and your own moral standards... well, then she's not.

If you, on the other hand, are trying to determine if the character is a slut (in the world that she lives in), then you have to take that society's moral values and her behavior because, like NemZ said, if she acts the part and the rest can't know it's a bluff, then it's more than alright for them to consider her a Slut (or anyone else anything they appear to be given their behavior for that matter).

Again, from my pov. Don't want to be told I'm trying to speak for everyone in the forum.


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