[CYOA] Eva Station 13

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Postby Agentomega » Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:02 pm

I am far too lazy to keep using the colour coding, so I'll just stick with...
3)! GET YE TEA! And also might as well get some [s]Eggos[/s] waffles. Those are the only things that sound like they go remotely with tea.

... also, I see what you did with that tea name.
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Postby MAGI_01 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:44 pm

3)
Gonna go with C) because, Bacon. and F)
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Postby Doctor Memory » Tue Sep 09, 2014 12:34 am

I'd say that's a definite yes on the tea. However, we're tied with one apiece for waffles and (bacon!) churros. I'll leave this open for another 24 hours in case someone wants to come along an break the tie.

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Postby Oxopoha » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:58 pm

3df) They seem like the most useful items.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Wed Sep 10, 2014 8:43 pm

((And the tie-breaker vote goes to... Gum. Right. Never mind the snack then.))

Without hesitation you BUY the OFF-BRAND TEA and CHUG it right there in front of the VENDING MACHINE like some capsule-toy-obsessed video game protagonist. You were hoping for something like iced Earl Grey. What you had is more like iced Breakfast Tea cut with a citrus juice blend. It's certainly far from the best tea ever, but the caffeine buzz shoots your BritPluck rating up to Spiffing!. You decide to BUY a second can just in case.

While you ponder whatever atrocious union of trademark law and marketing tomfoolery that led to the name Duke Purple, a familiar voice tickles your eardrums.

"Ah... Makinami-san, was it? There's something I wanted to give you. I thought you m-*umff*!"

It's Dan! He must have snuck in during a lag spike and used HOLD on Madoka! The ⌛守る⎌ verb shows up again, but it appears to have broken the AR tag formatting. If that Simulfax software package is the source of this verb, then it's safe to say that the Strange Janitor Man or whomever he works for wants you to protect Madoka. Unfortunately, she's just won a front row seat to your private screening of...

STRIFE 3: WITH A VENGEANCE

Simon says your Drunken Kung-Pao Wrestling skill currently rates at Green (Spot) belt.

1) Disgruntled Ant Suplexes Cantaloupe
2) Hungry Bear Sits on Gorilla
3) Drinking Crane, combo into Crazy Corkscrew Bottle Opener
4) Blond Girl Gets Out of Speeding Ticket
5) KEEP CALM and target his GENTLEMAN'S AREA
6) ⌛守る⎌

7) Shuffleparse )}__________
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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:16 pm

How did I not know about this?

I am an inattentive idiot

I suggest 5. Scientific research has shown that the GENTLEMEN'S AREA is a weak point, which can be attacked for MASSIVE DAMAGE.
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Postby Oxopoha » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:48 pm

5) with 7)
We'll shuffle his parse.
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Postby MAGI_01 » Wed Sep 10, 2014 11:04 pm

5)
"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid." - Me
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" - Akio's most famous line.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Sun Sep 14, 2014 5:37 am

Akame Alzaker waited. The becons above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were FATEs in Zurkadurk. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for weeks. Her warnings to Tankred were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Akame was a Sumner for fourteen years. When she was young she watched the airships and she said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY AMAJALS"
There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the desert base of the Flame fangs she knew there were amajals.
"This is Tankred" the linkshel crackered. "You must fight the amajals!"
So Akame gotted her grimmbook and--

((OH SHIT, WHITESPARK IS UP!))

((...several minutes later...))

((Have I mentioned that I don't like FATE camping? Anyway, many apologies for the delay.))

It's a hostage situation. Dan has Madoka locked in a HOLD. But apparently everyone present forgot to bring a WEAPON of any sort. You'll have to rely on whatever your STRIFE MODEX can provide. Fortunately, your heightened BritPluck is increasing your perceptual awareness by something-eight percent. You decide to KEEP CALM and look for an opening.

"Let her go, slimeball!"

"Hell, no! You're both under arrest for aiding and abetting!"

"Who, Dennis? He didn't do anything!"

"He instigated a riot in the hab block!"

"That was after you stabbed him!"

"I never stabbed anyone!"

"The other guy! You know what I mean."

"We were preemptively defusing the situation."

"What."

"People like him... People like you... You people cause trouble. Whether it's smuggling drugs, breaching security, hacking telecomms, or molesting monkeys, there's always someone causing trouble. But we're troubleshooters. It's our job to find trouble and shoot it.

"Yeah. But we weren't causing any trouble."

"No! You were about to! Clowns and their allies... You're Banana Circus Warriors... You want to take away our freedom of expression! You want everyone to wear funny hats and honk all the time!"

You exchange confused looks with Madoka.

"I won't stand for it! I'm going to stop you! I'll show the world how corrupt and evil and unethical you are! The clown is obviously guilty, and so are you! You must be conspiring together! Even the nurse is in on it!"

It seems that Madoka has heard enough.

Hiyai! (°□°)/ *KICK* (DX )

"In. The. PLUMS!"

"I was DOING MY JOB!" She heaves a sigh at no one in particular. "Has everyone on the station gone crazy today?"

You refrain from comment. While the shenanigans have been almost non-stop this morning, you suspect the worst is yet to come. Instead, you lean down next to Dan and offer him a bit of advice.

"Hey, freakball. You remember that scene at the end of Pulp Fiction where Sam Jackson realizes he's the bad guy? That's you. You're the tool of the tyrant. So I hope that, from now on, you're going to try real hard to be the shepherd. Figure out who the real enemy is before it's too late."
((#YesYoureShields, #DontListenToOndoresLies, #NoJohnYouAreTheCulturalMarxism, #IStandWithGanondorf, etc.))

Dan just groans at you. He'll probably be on the floor for a while.

"Could we go somewhere else?"

1) Take her to the BAR
2) Return to the CHAPEL
3) Go back to MEDBAY
4) Schlep to the DORMS
5) Report to ADMINISTRATION
6) Toss Dan out into the HAB HALLWAY and stay in the MESS HALL
Last edited by Doctor Memory on Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MAGI_01 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 1:02 am

:hitthetable: That quote and bit from TopGear made my day! Totally forgot about that episode.

Anyways.... 3)
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Postby Agentomega » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:53 am

View Original PostDoctor Memory wrote:Akame Alzaker waited. The becons above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were FATEs in Zurkadurk. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for weeks. Her warnings to Tankred were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Akame was a Sumner for fourteen years. When she was young she watched the airships and she said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY AMAJALS"
There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the desert base of the Flame fangs she knew there were amajals.
"This is Tankred" the linkshel crackered. "You must fight the amajals!"
So Akame gotted her grimmbook and--

((OH SHIT, WHITESPARK IS UP!))

((...several minutes later...))

((Have I mentioned that I don't like FATE camping? Anyway, many apologies for the delay.))


:hitthetable:

I'mma go with 3) Madoka is an important witness to the case, and [s]Mr. Nick[/s] Mr. Wright should know about it. Speaking of, you should probably let him know that you're headed that way.
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Postby Doctor Memory » Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:09 am

((Updated the previous post with a better video of Attack Stig.))

You suggest relocating to MEDBAY.

"That'll work fine. There's something I want to give you, but I need to run some tests first. And since the CMO isn't here yet, it looks like I'll have to do the paperwork if my hunch is right. Oh, speaking of Wright, Nick-san is still there with Clown-san. You can see them after we're done."

"Need to run some tests, huh?" The thought of Madoka poking you with MEDICAL IMPLEMENTS has you palpitating, and your elevated BritPluck isn't helping matters.

"...and that's when I acquired the lovely stab wound you see here."

"I see. Oh, Miss Kaname. And Miss... Makinami? I'm sorry, I have to interview you all separately."

"Don't mind us. We're just passing through."

"Er, FYI, we were attacked by one of the goons again in the mess hall. He should be down for a while, but he may come back."

"I see. In that case, I'll page Security."

"Please tell me those lunatics aren't the only redshirts on the station."

"There's a few more, but I'll bet they're all busy sorting out the greys right now. Nick, you should call Bradshaw. He'll get those idiots in line."

"Last I heard he was dealing with... our esteemed chaplain."

"Ooh, hang on. I didn't get the story on that one."

"And you won't, for the time being. It's all hearsay until I have everyone's statements."

"Right. Fair enough."

"This way, please."

Madoka is waiting for you by the door to the ICU/STORAGE area. The locking mechanism has seen better days, but it's apparently still functional. You follow her across the threshold.

Madoka moves over to a STORAGE CRATE and fishes out a MEDICAL SCANNING WAND. She returns to you and waves this device about your CRANIUM.

"Is this one of those tests you mentioned?" You're a bit disappointed at how non-invasive it is.

"Yes. You said something earlier about hearing voices. Is that true? Are you really hearing voices that compel you to do things?"

1) The voices are telling you to say "Yes"
2) The voices are telling you to say "No"
3) The voices are telling you to eat her hair again
4) The voices don't control you! You are your own person!
5) This is getting way too meta. At this rate, the fourth wall might break.
6) Hold that thought while you Shuffleparse )}__________
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Postby Squigsquasher » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:30 am

6). Shuffleparse "Eat Madoka's Pantsu". Madoka's hair may have been proven to be inedible, but fanart and a gut feeling has lead you to the conclusion that pantsu can be both nutritious and delicious, and that the consumption of said pantsu is a universally accepted sign of affection.

(Also I'm still not sure how to use this Shuffleparse thing, or whether I'm doing the text colour thing right. Forgive me, my brain works so slowly that it actually thinks backwards. I have already unsolved the Higg's Boson quandary and am 75% of the way through uninventing the theory of relativity.)
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Postby Doctor Memory » Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:42 pm

The EvaGeeks Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

[code:1]} Can I eat Modoka's pantsu?[/code:1]

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

[code:1]} Of course you can. But you don't want to.
}
} Here in the technical vastness of The Future, much research has gone
} into creating artificial polysaccharides. Unfortunately, none of this
} technology has at all improved edible underwear. They still taste like
} Listerine and will give you a nasty rash if worn for any length of
} time.
}
} You owe the Oracle an inventive recipe for making ice cream koans out
} of Incubator flesh.[/code:1]
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