Ghosts of Evangelion

Everything Evangelion Fanfiction related.

Moderator: Board Staff

ThanatosII
Sachiel
User avatar
Age: 23
Posts: 208
Joined: Sep 08, 2014
Location: The Dirac Sea

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby ThanatosII » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:16 pm

View Original PostBagheera wrote:ThanatosII: With the first, Asuka had just vomited so I can't imagine she'd be hungry.

I just inferred she hadn't ate much that day considering how weak she was. Even on an empty stomach, people still vomit (happens to me at least on the few occasions I skip dinner and wake up the next morning feeling really weak and prone to vomit). However, I will concede to this nitpick, as the end result in your story ended up with Asuka agreeing to have food with Hikari.
With the second, I don't think Shinji's ever talked with Misato about why she joined Nerv (beyond the obvious "fighting Angels"). He knew she had issues with her father, but not how it motivated her.

I can confirm this isn't the case. Episode 12 is the episode where Misato gave Shinji full detail about her father.
Here's the dialogue:
"Shinji, yesterday you asked me why I joined NERV. My father was a man who lived for his research, for his dreams, to the exclusion of all else. I could never forgive him for that. In fact, I even hated him.
[Shinji's thought: "Just like my father."]
He never took care of me, my mother or the family. His friends always said he was very sensitive and delicate. But the truth was the he was just a weak person who didn't want to face reality, the reality called his family. He was like a kid. So I agreed with my mother when she decided to divorce him because she was always crying. He was depressed about it, but I laughed at him because he deserved what he got. But he sacrificed himself to save my life during Second Impact. Then, I didn't know whether I hated him or loved him. The only thing that was clear to me was I wanted to destroy the Angels who caused the Second Impact. So, in order to do that, I joined NERV. It might be that I still hate him, and just want to avenge my father, so that I can free myself."

So she basically spelled out everything to Shinji as they were over looking the city of Tokyo III.

With the last, the Fuyutsuki scenes will delve into this in detail.


Sweeet! Look forward to it :asuka_happy:
"Understanding each other one hundred percent is impossible.
Of course, that's why we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves and others.
That's what makes life so interesting."
-Kaji Ryoji
"I got confused and I killed my sister... egh I can't help the way that I feel...." - Sorrow
Once you're regularly active on EGF, you get an idea of who is using the "Hidden" feature. Irony, eh?

NemZ
Token Misanthrope
Token Misanthrope
User avatar
Posts: 15804
Joined: Jun 28, 2008
Location: St. Louis
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby NemZ » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:36 pm

View Original PostBagheera wrote:NemZ is unusually silent this time around; perhaps the waff disgusts him! :lol:


Nah, just been busy doing other things. This works. I thought their talk about the lack of masturbation and issues around it a little too self-aware, but then again they're both in therapy and people doing so tend to be significantly more conscious of their underlying motivations so I guess that fits.

Asuka telling Shinji she thinks cunnilingus is disgusting right after blowing him was kind of a WTF moment, but oh well. Prude gonna prude I guess, and surely this is not the first or the last time Asuka bluntly states double standards.
Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:52 pm

View Original PostNemZ wrote:Nah, just been busy doing other things. This works. I thought their talk about the lack of masturbation and issues around it a little too self-aware, but then again they're both in therapy and people doing so tend to be significantly more conscious of their underlying motivations so I guess that fits.

Asuka telling Shinji she thinks cunnilingus is disgusting right after blowing him was kind of a WTF moment, but oh well. Prude gonna prude I guess, and surely this is not the first or the last time Asuka bluntly states double standards.


Oddly enough, I know a woman who's exactly like that; she has no problem with blowjobs, but thinks cunnilingus is disgusting. I don't get it, either, but she's adamant on the issue.

And holy fuck, how could I have not noticed how important ep 12 was? Thanks for pointing that out, ThanatosII, I'll have to address that later.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

Mr. Tines
Administrator
Administrator
User avatar
Age: 60
Posts: 20096
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
Location: This sceptered isle.
Gender: Male
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Mr. Tines » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:57 pm

View Original PostBagheera wrote:Mr. Tines: You confound me, sir! You hate LAS, so why would you want anything to do with this fic?
I just watch what's going on across the forum in general, and give my two penn'orth when I feel like. I will confess to having been reacting to the reactions, and the implicit cultural shift, rather than the fic itself, in this instance.

Back in the day, it seemed that half the girls who spoke of such matters to me were initially on the Pill for the regulation of various menstrual issues independent of the headline effect -- one stuck in my mind : "I used to be an utter bitch ten days of the month; now it's down to three." Which would be an unfair line to steal and put into Asuka's mouth.
Reminder: Play nicely <<>> My vanity publishing:- NGE|blog|Photos|retro-blog|Fanfics|G+|MAL
Avatar: Etoh Mei (b. 9-May-2018)

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:04 pm

View Original PostMr. Tines wrote:I just watch what's going on across the forum in general, and give my two penn'orth when I feel like. I will confess to having been reacting to the reactions, and the implicit cultural shift, rather than the fic itself, in this instance.


I don't know how that reflects on me, if at all.

Back in the day, it seemed that half the girls who spoke of such matters to me were initially on the Pill for the regulation of various menstrual issues independent of the headline effect -- one stuck in my mind : "I used to be an utter bitch ten days of the month; now it's down to three." Which would be an unfair line to steal and put into Asuka's mouth.


You realize that's a challenge, right? And a particularly IC one to boot, at least for Asuka.

Edit: Of course you do, that's why you said it. NVM . . .
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

Guy Nacks
Test Subject
Test Subject
User avatar
Posts: 2938
Joined: Nov 28, 2012
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Guy Nacks » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:19 pm

This is the best ship fic in a long while. Props.
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.

And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996

MisterHalt
Adam
User avatar
Age: 31
Posts: 81
Joined: Sep 06, 2014
Location: Australia
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby MisterHalt » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:51 am

As someone who has probably read somewhere close to 200 fanfics, most of them Asuka/Shinji related, I have to say that this fic has the most realistic relationship I've ever seen between the two. No sudden "oh shit I actually love him/her, let's get busy" or anything. This fic actually remembers that Asuka and Shinji are broken children still trying to recover from what was done to them.
Strength is being able to crush a tomato. Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato. Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato. Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad. Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

pwhodges
A Lilin in Wonderland
A Lilin in Wonderland
User avatar
Age: 72
Posts: 9936
Joined: Nov 18, 2012
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby pwhodges » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:18 am

View Original PostMisterHalt wrote:most of them Asuka/Shinji related,

That was what most amused me when I got a review on FFN, that it said I'd get less readers because I was addressing the relationship between Shinji and Rei, not Asuka, and fanfic readers want Asuka. It seemed a rather simplistic approach to reading a new story (especially when my story turned out to have just as much of Asuka in it as Rei).
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: "It was yourself you ran away from" - episode 16. (details); Past avatars.
Can't wait for 3.0+1.0? - try Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:52 am

Okay, edits are up. The onsen and lemon scenes just have minor edits for flow, but the beach and balcony scenes have both been substantially reworked. No more tiger imagery; it was valid and effective as far as it went, but it felt clumsy and amateurish to me so I approached the same material from a different angle. As for the balcony, it felt repetitive and somewhat regressive; the constant worry and reassurances seem apt for scenes in in the 2016-2018 range, but not so much here when their relationship is established. I think what's there now is a better reflection of both of their characters at this point in the story.

Anyway, thanks to the big gaffe ThanatosII mentioned I'm gonna have to rework the aquarium scene next; hopefully I'll get that done tomorrow (er, later today) so I can focus on Fuyutsuki over the weekend.

Edit: Or I could do it now. Wow, that was easier than I thought. I gotta admit that scene is pretty lackluster, though; I'll have to dig into it a bit later on to see if I can get some more mileage out of it.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

pwhodges
A Lilin in Wonderland
A Lilin in Wonderland
User avatar
Age: 72
Posts: 9936
Joined: Nov 18, 2012
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby pwhodges » Thu Sep 11, 2014 7:26 am

No particular extra comments - the changes seem fine.

In the preamble to the lemon:
s/all she saw as/all she saw was/

In the aquarium scene there's a repeated para, starting: '"Second Impact," he said.'
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: "It was yourself you ran away from" - episode 16. (details); Past avatars.
Can't wait for 3.0+1.0? - try Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

ThanatosII
Sachiel
User avatar
Age: 23
Posts: 208
Joined: Sep 08, 2014
Location: The Dirac Sea

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby ThanatosII » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:19 am

View Original PostBagheera wrote:No more tiger imagery; it was valid and effective as far as it went, but it felt clumsy and amateurish to me so I approached the same material from a different angle.

This edit works wonders! Feels a lot more grounded than before without the tiger stuff :D
Plus, love the fire/ember nod to Asuka's classic analogy from Episode 11.
Just one question: What is Shinji referring to exactly when he said he knew how Asuka felt/learned about what happened to her before Instrumentality? (or is this just Shinji trying to stay smooth by avoiding Instrumentality?)




As for the balcony, it felt repetitive and somewhat regressive; the constant worry and reassurances seem apt for scenes in in the 2016-2018 range, but not so much here when their relationship is established. I think what's there now is a better reflection of both of their characters at this point in the story.

I fully agree, as that entry did seem a little... empty, although at the time, I assumed that was the angle you were going for. Nonetheless, the edits add more meat to the dialogue, very nice!

Anyway, thanks to the big gaffe ThanatosII mentioned I'm gonna have to rework the aquarium scene next; hopefully I'll get that done tomorrow (er, later today) so I can focus on Fuyutsuki over the weekend.

Edit: Or I could do it now. Wow, that was easier than I thought. I gotta admit that scene is pretty lackluster, though; I'll have to dig into it a bit later on to see if I can get some more mileage out of it.


No problem! Although, I feel as though to improve the Kaji bit toward the end of their conversation, may I suggest:

Kaji nodded. "Acknowledging the similarities between individuals is a valuable trait, Shinji, never let that part of yourself fade." He turned toward Shinji, giving him a weak smile. "Katsuragi is a strong person, but being a survivor means many things," he said. "You must accept the sacrifices of the dead, and carry on their wills. This is all the more true when you are alone."

To me, it feels less recycled. Dunno if it helped or not. Overall, much better! :asuka_thumbsup:
"Understanding each other one hundred percent is impossible.
Of course, that's why we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves and others.
That's what makes life so interesting."
-Kaji Ryoji
"I got confused and I killed my sister... egh I can't help the way that I feel...." - Sorrow
Once you're regularly active on EGF, you get an idea of who is using the "Hidden" feature. Irony, eh?

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:47 pm

Minor changes to the last update (you won't notice them unless you're comparing texts, most likely) and some more substantial changes to the aquarium chapter. I've made the scene more my own, and redone the conversation with Kaji at the end since I completely misunderstood what Kaji meant when he talked about being a survivor. It should make more sense now.

Hopefully several scenes over the next few days, keep your fingers crossed . . .
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:17 pm

Not much to say about this one, as it's a setup chapter. Got a post-Okinawa chapter in the works, with more Fuyu tomorrow.

SPOILER: Show
April 20, 2022
Shinji was just getting out of his evening class when his phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and checked the caller. He touched the icon to reply. "Hi Misato," he said. "What's up?"
"Hiya Shinji," she said. Her voice was pleasant but somewhat subdued. "I have something I need to talk to you about," she went on.
Shinji frowned. "Like what?" he asked.
She cleared her throat. "Have you been following the news about Professor Fuyutsuki?"
"Yes," Shinji said, stopping as he reached the waiting area for his train. "Ever since you told me he returned."
"Right. Well, the trial is over," Misato went on. "He's been ordered placed on indefinite house arrest. It's a pretty mild sentence, all things considered, but he was completely forthcoming in his testimony, so the court was lenient."
"Okay." Shinji didn't know where this was going.
"Most of it wouldn't be of much interest to you," she said, "but . . . well . . . "
Shinji frowned again. "What is it?"
"He wants to talk to you directly, Shinji."
Shinji blinked, startled. "Me? But why?" he asked. "I mean, what could he possibly want to talk to me about?"
Misato hesitated. "All the things your father should have told you, but didn't. About your mother, the Evangelions, the Angels, and . . . Rei."
Shinji was silent for close to a minute. His train arrived, but he didn't get on board.
"Shinji?" Misato asked.
Shinji didn't answer.
"Shinji?" she said. She sounded worried now. "Are you still there?"
"I'm here," he said.
"Is it okay? Do you want to meet with him? You don't have to. I'll tell him no if you--"
"It's fine," Shinji said.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes. I'll meet with him. It's fine."
"Okay," she said. "If you're sure. I'll make the arrangements. Is Saturday alright?"
"That's fine," he said.
"Alright. I'll drive you out there," she said. "Asuka can come too, if she likes, but I think he wants to meet with you alone."
"Alright," Shinji said. "I'll tell her."
"Okay," she said. "Take care, Shinji."
"I will." He hung up and sat down on the bench, waiting for the next train.
Last edited by Bagheera on Sat Sep 13, 2014 5:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

ThanatosII
Sachiel
User avatar
Age: 23
Posts: 208
Joined: Sep 08, 2014
Location: The Dirac Sea

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby ThanatosII » Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:55 pm

NOW that revision works wonders! The initial problem felt like Kaji was a tense robot forced to recite his dialogue from Ha, but with that simple "..." trail off from Shinji, the conversation is handed off to Kaji more naturally and more loose, much how I'd imagine Kaji to be. I am now content with the edit :D

And oh man, now I'm hyped for more Fuyu. The part where he was put on trial was pretty clever, as I didn't think about considering him a war criminal, but given the context, that's a smart move. Can't wait!
"Understanding each other one hundred percent is impossible.
Of course, that's why we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves and others.
That's what makes life so interesting."
-Kaji Ryoji
"I got confused and I killed my sister... egh I can't help the way that I feel...." - Sorrow
Once you're regularly active on EGF, you get an idea of who is using the "Hidden" feature. Irony, eh?

Sicarius VI
Lilin
Lilin
User avatar
Age: 20
Posts: 1143
Joined: Aug 12, 2014
Location: United States
Gender: Male

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Sicarius VI » Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:44 pm

I really need to ask this because I feel lost, but what is the Kaji chapter again? I think I already read it but that was before the revision.

As for April 20,2022- I see you're making Fuyu go down the route he does in 3.0(btw as of right now I have 3.0 on another tab :tongue:, 1/3 of the way done my 20th or some re watch of it). Besides that nice short build-up chapter, no problems here.

HIP considered wouldn't Shinji already know most of secrets his father kept?
"I'm not going there to die, I'm going to find out if I'm really alive." - Spike Spiegel

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:55 pm

The Kaji chapter is March 6, 2021.

And yes, Shinji would know most of his father's secrets. But he wouldn't know his mother's. Also, Instrumentality was perfection, but people only remember so much. There's still a lot of ground to cover.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

pwhodges
A Lilin in Wonderland
A Lilin in Wonderland
User avatar
Age: 72
Posts: 9936
Joined: Nov 18, 2012
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby pwhodges » Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:14 am

Aquarium: Excellent changes. I'd vary the wording when they "exited the LCL" then next sentence "they finally exited" currently it reads a bit clumsy. Shinji's "Like you?" is ambiguous ("like you do", or "like having you") - is that intentional, as either could work?

s/got the hand of it/got the hang of it/

Kaji: I'm still a bit confused by the picture. At the start it's now made clear enough that Asuka was showering, not having sex (because they first do that six months later). But then she's squeaking in Shinji's room, and comes out wearing his shirt, quite apart from him being shirtless - which still reads like the aftermath of sex (or at least heavy petting, which the run-up to the sex scene seemed to rule out) - so what gives?

Fuyu: Nothing to say - yet...
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important." (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?" (from: The Eccentric Family )
Avatar: "It was yourself you ran away from" - episode 16. (details); Past avatars.
Can't wait for 3.0+1.0? - try Afterwards... my post-Q Evangelion fanfic (discussion)

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:08 am

Typo fixed, wording changed. I left "like you" alone, because I couldn't figure an elegant way to change it. And, as noted, it works either way.

As to the Kaji scene, the next scene I post should shed some light on that. If it doesn't resolve things sufficiently I'll explain my thinking on the matter more thoroughly and solicit advice as to how to make things more clear in the text.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

Bagheera
Banned
User avatar
Posts: 18626
Joined: Oct 15, 2010

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Bagheera » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:59 am

Not the chapter I'd planned, but inspiration struck. Amusingly, it should still address Paul's questions. The chapter I had planned will be up later today. Fuyu after.

Edit: This is kinda pointless as a standalone scene, so I went ahead and added an edited version to the previous March 6, 2021 scene.
Last edited by Bagheera on Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.

Sorrow
Lilin
Lilin
User avatar
Posts: 1069
Joined: Jul 06, 2014

  •      
  •      
  • Quote

Postby Sorrow » Sat Sep 13, 2014 5:11 am

In regards to April 20, 2020: "He's been ordered placed on indefinite house arrest. It's a pretty mild sentence, all things considered, but he was completely forthcoming."

I think that needs changing.

Not bad having the adult's relationship more intimate physically, but not really all that emotionally intimate, while the children's is the opposite. Though of course, it's clear you feel both relationships need to have some of the other and will (do) make it so.

How do you double, and once I saw you triple, post things?
The fate of man…the hope of man is written in sorrow.


Return to “Fanfiction”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests