What can I say? I suddenly felt motivated. In case anyone missed it, i was inspired by this post.

Naruto NGE crossover. Bitches.

Part One. In which we meet the protagonist, his family, and get sent on a mission of pure ridiculosity.

Nara Shikamaru opened one eye. Damn it, it's light out already. He rolled his head to the right, and opened another eye. The alarm clock was face down. He stretched out an arm to right it. 6:23am, time to go. Shikamaru swung his legs over the side of the bed, flicked the alarm to “off.” That damn thing is so loud in the mornings, it’s easier to wake up before it goes off.

Breakfast was good. His father, Shikaku, sat behind a newspaper, a thin wisp of smoke come out the top and curled out the window near his seat. Damn he’s smoking already? Mom must be on his case about something. “Mom” happened to be cleaning the kitchen. She’d had a lot of coffee already, and was rattling off the same annoying list of questions. “Do you have any missions today?” “Have you seen Naruto-kun since he returned?” “That girl from the sunagakure seems really nice, doesn’t she?” The more I ignore her, the louder she gets.It must be time to go. He grabbed his green Chuunin jacket and headed to the door. “Shikamaru, say hello to Chouji-kun for me.” He let out an exasperated sigh and left the house. His father was there.

“How did you-?” Shikamaru stammered.

“I’ve been married to your mother for a long time, and been a shinobi for longer than that. I can sneak out when I want. More importantly, lets play a game of shogi when you get back.”

“Why?”

“Because this time, I’m going to beat you. There’s more to life than being smart.”

“Maybe, but remember we’re talking about shogi, not life. I have to go.”

Shikamaru made his way across the village toward the house of the Akimichi clan. Akimichi Chouji was a childhood friend and a teammate. He was also strong, even if he wasn’t as smart as Shikamaru. They had plans to train early today. I haven’t seen Chouji as much since becoming a Chuunin. All last week I had to teach at the academy because Iruka was injured during a mission, and this afternoon I’m meeting with Kotetsu in preparation for the Chuunin exams. What a pain in the ass. I wish- his train of thought was broken when he noticed a bird circling about fifty feet above his head. It gave out a three note cry, repeated it once, and wheeled off toward the center of the village. Shikamaru frowned. Now what? She promised me I’d have this morning off. Either something has come up, or she’s breaking her promise. Either way, it’s a pain in the ass, and im starting to regret passing the Chuunin exams.

Shizune met him in the hallway. She was Tsunade’s assistant and companion. She had a clipboard in her hand. “Hokage-sama will see you now.” Shikamaru nodded and entered the office. She was nervous, but he paid it no heed. She gets nervous about everything. I’d hate to see her truly scared, behind those silly mannerisms she’s quite a powerful Jonin.

The office was spacious, with large windows making up the far wall. In front of them was a desk facing the door. It was cluttered with stacks of papers, empty bottles of sake, and writing utensils. To the left was a wastepaper basket, overflowing with lottery tickets and discarded correspondence. A tall woman with long blonde hair stood at one of the windows. Her hair was parted into two pigtails that trailed down her back, framing a logo on the back of her green jacket. The logo read: “Gamble.” She made a motion with her arm, and the bird Shikamaru had spotted earlier flew out, a small scroll tied about its leg. She closed the window and sat down at the desk. Tsunade was the fifth Hokage, protector and leader of the village. She fixed Shikamaru in a steady gaze, and did not address him.

“Well what do you want this time, fifth?” Shizune gasped in horror at the gross breach of protocol. Tsunade’s large brown eyes narrowed, and a corner of her mouth twitched. If she means to cow me with that stare, she’s wrong. He stared right back.

“Shikamaru, you aren’t usually so confrontational. I’ll get right to the point.” Shizune let out a sigh of relief. “We’ve received an unusual mission request. Another country has made contact with us, a country we’ve never had relations with. And they have a mission request.”

His anger forgotten, Shikamaru stood dumbstruck. New country? Where? Why would they request us? His speculation was cut off.
“You will first travel to the country of water, there you will meet with a representative of this new country. He will arrange transport and provide you with further details.”

Shikamaru’s stomach turned.
“That’s it? No details? What are our objectives?”

“Your mission is to investigate this new country, establish friendly relations, and represent Konoha to the best of your abilities. As part of this, you will act under the direction of their representative, within a reasonable extent. I have made this mission a high priority. Your team will consist of four other ninjas. You may choose three shinobi from this list here,” She handed him a clipboard, and motioned to Shizune. “and one shinobi from that list.”

“What?!” Shikamaru exclaimed. “This can’t be right, this list is all Jonins!”

“Yes. Because we know very little about this mission, I have classified it as S-rank. Most missions are carried out by three ninjas, but you shall have five. Pick your teammates so you may deal with any situation; you will not receive reinforcements. I expect your team to be assembled in two hours. That is all.”

Shikamaru put the clipboards under his arm, shoved his hands in his pockets, and headed toward the door. Christ! She must have really lost it. A mission into the complete unknown and a Jonin in my team. I’ll get paid well, but I have no idea how long I’ll be gone. Getting to the country of water alone will be two weeks. What a pain in the ass. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway. A thought occurred to him.

“Whats the name of this country?” The fifth looked up from a stack of papers.

“Japan. You’ll be meeting their special representative. Shizune, what was his name?” Shizune dropped the stack of papers she had, and retrieved a clipboard.


“His name is Ryoji Kaji.”