((We now return to our regular daily update schedule.))

Despite your lack of tea and the clown's plaintive honks for attention, you continue to to focus on the Shuffleparser. On the side, you find a port that looks like it would fit the card-slot adapter.

"Megazord Shuffleparser, combine!"

With perhaps a bit more flourish than the situation warrants, you amalgamate the two devices. The resulting unit resembles one of those Dual Screen devices from the Dark Age of Consumer Electronics.


New device connected!
Analyzing host... Done.
Checking widget compatibility... Done.
Uploading driver software...
Please wait. This may take a few minutes.
Meanwhile, the PDA end is going crazy.

"Now boarding Shuttle 9. Now boarding Shuttle 9," the PA system squawks at everyone.

1) Pack up and board the shuttle now
2) There's still time, inspect the map
3) Try on the goggles
4) Last chance to talk to security
5) Jive with the clown
6) Ask the clown for some tea

1) pack up and board you can do everything else on the way, except of course talk to security

1)

1)

1), but keep the devices combined while the PDA updates. We'll call this "Shuttlestuck", or maybe "Shufflestuck".

((If I'm completely honest, this should be called "Meme Station 13". We're barely 12 feet into this rabbit hole.))

You stuff your new toy into the satchel and walk over to the terminal. You present your tickets to the holographic stewardess and she waves you through the gate. The airlocks are already open, so you hurry on board.

"Welcome to NERV Interplanetary Shuttle 9. Please follow the blue lines to your seat. A reminder: all clowns must deflate their shoes before departure."

You notice the clown from before is following you. More than that, he's booked the seat next to you. He's not honking at the moment, but that's probably because his shoes are deflated.

1) Find a different seat
2) A window seat is worth putting up with some clownery
3) Ask the clown to find a different seat

Further, when seated, do you:

A) Fasten your seat belt like a sane person
B) Leave it unfastened. You're a rebel, riding the microgravity roller coaster!

2) and A) Ask the Clown for some tea, or information on how to obtain Ye Flask.

Oxopoha wrote:2) and A) Ask the Clown for some tea, or information on how to obtain Ye Flask.

And also possibly ask why it's necessary for him to deflate his shoes before departure. You are not familiar with the physics of clowns after all; it's a funny topic to broach. *rimshot*

2) and A)

Might as well go with the crowd 2) and A)

You and the clown take your seats and prepare for departure. You stow your satchel in the under-seat compartment, allowing for easy access later. The clown introduces himself as Dennis. And, no, he doesn't have any tea either. He offers you a hamburger instead.

You ask him about his shoes.

"Actually, I'm not sure on the specifics, but I think it has to do with Bananium, which we use as a power source. Apparently, some side effect of the honkometric reaction process plays havoc with the shuttle's navigation equipment. The only way to minimize it is to stop honking. Ergo, silent shoes." He taps his feet on the deck to emphasize the point.

Meanwhile, the Suffleparser beeps at you again. Upon retrieving it, You find Dennis' spiel has been hyperlinked. The progress bar on the PDA is at ~75%

You ask Dennis about Ye Flask. He looks around cautiously before leaning in and whispering "Are you with the Syndicate?"

A) Admit your involvement with the Syndicate
B) Deny your involvement with the Syndicate
C) WTF is the Syndicate?

Also:
1) Eat Dennis' hamburger
2) Ask Dennis about parapets
3) Show Dennis the Shuffleparser and ask about Strange Man
Or examine the other things first:
4) Put on the goggles
5) Inspect the map

C) and 3) The Syndicate sound like characters to be avoided. Should Dennis inquire to our knowledge of Ye Flask inform him of it's importance in the legend passed down the Makinami line for generations.

This post is just rife with references and by the Root I love it.

C), and I'd very much like to give Dennis a trinket, but since we don't have any trinkets, I suppose 2) is the next best option.

(I suspect if we go with four, we'll find out the goggles do nothing)

C) annnnd... 3)

B and 4

You tell Dennis you have no idea what the Syndicate is.

He looks at you appraisingly for a moment. "Never heard of the Syndicate, eh? That's a likely story. Alright, I'll play along.

"The Syndicate is a loose group of organizations opposed to NERV. At its core is WILLE, who claim to be former NERV employees with a grudge or something. The rest are mostly commercial opponents and the pirates they sponsor. Fun bunch of guys. I used to work for MacDahmer's myself, before they were bought out. I suspect the hard-line anti-NERV guys left to found Jimmy Jones', now allied with Donk Corp. I only know that because the Banana Confederacy recently started using Donk Corp Exploding Pies. MacDahmer's was working on something like that prior to the buy-out.

"Anyway, I heard the Syndicate was after something called Ye Flask. No idea what that is. You probably know more about it than I do." He wink-wink nudge-nudges you.

You hand the frankentablet over to Dennis and ask about the strange man who gave it to you.

"Oh, yeah, your friend back there. You know, a fine looking kinda man, I thought. Real regular features. Real regular clothes. Not sure about the leather jacket, though. He'd blend in more with a sporty frock coat.

"But this... Shuffleparser? That's a new one to me. Could be a prototype or something. Hell, it could be a fancy bomb for all I know. Maybe it has an About page."

*Beep-Beep*
)} ABOUT SHUFFLEPARSER
Natural Language Reification Shuffleparser
A product of the Copland OS Enterprise
Version 501.1217, copyright 2143 Tachibana Labs
FOR ORAL USE ONLY

"2143? Wow, that's old!"

"No mention of Simulfax here," Dennis continues. "This software is stolen, I'll bet. Whoever hacked it forgot to change the About page. Happens all the time."
Clearly Dennis is an experienced stationman. You hope that one day thy stationman skills art as robust as his.

A) Admit your involvement with the Syndicate
B) Deny your involvement with the Syndicate
C) Present a neutral facade

1) Ask Dennis why he left the Syndicate... or if he left the Syndicate
2) Ask Dennis how he knows so much about hacking
3) Ask Dennis about the hamburger
4) Ask Dennis about parapets
5) Ask Dennis another question (please specify)
6) Enough of Dennis, do something else (please specify)

A) aaaaaaannnnndd hmm 5) Ask Dennis if he has any relation to the Makinami family. Mom did say something about a cousin with a name that started with "D".

C) and 2). While I'm thinking Mari is involved in the Syndicate, to admit or deny it is a statement that could easily get us in trouble. Not to mention, having asked about the Syndicate moments before, it's easier to continue "playing" dumb (although admittedly, we were legitimately asking what it was earlier).

Heh. Thy stationman. Win.

B) 3)

C) and 2)

Same thoughts as Agent here.