Ayanami: Vengeance [Director's Cut of Chapter 39 Online!]

Nice Mari/Asuka thing you got going on here. I love your banter for these two.

Alright man, good to see ya back in action *takes a look around all the dust that built up around my profile* damn, looks like I'm back in action too.... for now

But anywho it's gonna be interesting to see your take on the lava monster angel (Who IMHO was a waste of a good angel being Sandalphon and all) fight as well as it's gonna be interesting to find out what's so special about Mari's shiny plug suit dealy.

Oh and Mari's dream, pure grade A nightmare fuel..... I mean it, it' fucked up

Since it's gonna be a while before I post the next chapter, gaze your eyes on some posters I crated together for my fic (though the pictures used aren't by me)

Spoiler:

I wish I knew of a high-res version of that particular Rei pic myself

Chapter 32: Burnin' for You





“Mari, don't just stand there...DO SOMETHING!” Asuka yells at her as the angel breaks its way out of the egg.

“Hang on a bloody second.” Mari replies, sounding a bit agitated, which she makes her EVA protract its blades and proceeds to get into a fighting stance, ready to attack the angel.

“Why you're just standing there, Mari.” Asuka yells at her. “Kill it!”

“Asuka, if you be patient, i'll be able to slay it.” Mari explains. “I don't want to risk me and my EVA's arses getting cooked in the bloody lava, so i'll just wait till it comes towards me, okay?”

Asuka rolls her eyes in annoyance and grumbles to herself, “If I was in the EVA with mobilityy right now, I would so tear der angel's arsch apart!”


As Unit 05 stands on Unit 02 with its blades extracted, the angel breaks out of his egg and launches itself towards Unit 05, tackling it in the process.

“Oh shit!” Misato yells out as she hears Mari grunting as the angel tackles her. “Quick, attack it!”

Maya watches the slowly growing car wreck of a mission with a mesmerized gaze, seemingly too drawn into the kinetics of the angel and the EVAs to even bark out status updates of the EVAs' conditions.

“Lieutenant....LIEUTENANT!” Yui yells at her.

Maya breaks out of her trance and hastingly replies, “Ummm...EVA Unit 05 has received no damage so far.”

“...good.” Yui replies back. She then focuses on Mari and asks, “You're okay, Ms. Makinami?”

“Affirmative, guv'nor.” Mari replies. “However...I don't know where the angel went.”

“Shit!” Gendo yells out. “Ms. Makinami, keep your eyes peeled and protect Unit 02 at all costs!”

“Okay okay, Commander.” Mari replies back.

Unit 05 looks around the hellish landscape to see if the angel makes itself known again, blades ready to make a killing.


The adults continue to monitor Mari and Asuka's activities in the mission, looking to see if there's any cue of the angel near by the EVAs.

However, Maya's eyes widen and yells, “Mari, the angel is behind you!”

“What?” Mari squeaks back, unaware that the angel has its eyes set on a gear box on Unit 05's back.

The angel begins to hiss and drool an acidic liquid that melts parts of the surface it's standing on, fixated on the box.

“Ms. Makinami, Lieutenant Ibuki is telling you that the angel is behind you.” Commander Ikari yells back. “ATTACK!”

Unit 05 quickly turns around and attempts to strike but gets a face full of acid in the face.

“AUUGHHHAGGHHH!!!!” Mari screams in pain as she feels a burning sensation tingling in her face as part of her EVA's helmet melts away.

“Mari....Mari...are you okay?!?” Asuka cries out, worried if her estranged fellow EVA pilot is hurt.

The angel then knocks down Unit 05 face first and destroys the box with one clean swipe.

Mari, feeling the sensation going away, suddenly sees the vision in her helmet cut to black.

“...what...WHAT?!?!” Mari screams out. “What the bloody fuck just happened!?!”

“Ms. Makinami...what happened?” Misato asks her.

“...I CAN'T SEE A BLOODY DAMN THING!!!” Mari screams out in sheer anger. “THIS IS TOTAL FRIGGING BOLLOCKS!!!”

“Oh shit...this is bad.” Misato quietly tells herself. She then walks over to Gendo and asks him, “What do we do now?”

Gendo turns his head towards Misato and replies, “Hmmm....”. He thinks for a second, then adds, “...first off, we need to get Ms. Makinami and Ms. Soryu out of there, then...we need to airlift our best pilot and EVA over there.”

“...okay Commander.” Misato replies back

Shiro then walks into Central Dogma and asks, “Say, what's going on with the pilots?”

Misato turns her head towards him and informs, “Shiro...I need you to do me a favor.”



“Mari...Mari...please tell me that your English ass is okay.” Asuka yells out, desperately trying to get her to respond.

Suddenly, she feels a hard force push against her EVA and a voice weakly reply, “Yes Asuka, i'm okay.”

“Oh good.” Asuka replies, releasing a sigh of relief. “So what were you screaming about?”

“The angel...has made me incapable of seeing in my EVA!” Mari screams back, being utterly irritated.


“Oh crap.” Asuka mutters back as her eyes widen open. “How the hell are we going to get out of here?”

“Asuka, Mari...I want you two to get back to the surface.” Misato informs them. “We're sending in help to finish the job and we're going to get you two out of there.”

“Affirmative.” the girls reply back at the same time.

Asuka then bluntly asks Mari, “Mari can you please help us out of here...and do it quickly.”

“Alright, Asuka...just be patient, i'm so at a major disadvantage right now.” Mari grumbles back.

Trying her best to navigate with a total lack of vision, Mari makes Unit 05 retract its blades, carefully walk through the platform holding her and Asuka's EVAs together, grabs Unit 02 with its right hand and starts to climb up the pole.

“Please be careful...this is not what I meant by trying to get us out of here.” Asuka complains, fearing that Unit 05 will lose its grip and drop her into the burning lava.

“I know, I know.” Mari replies back. “Its not what I planned, but I have no other choice but to get our arses out of here and this is the only way I can think of with my disadvantages put in consideration.”

“Ugh.” Asuka groans. “Ok, but if you get us killed, i'm going to kick your ass from hell all the way to Deutschland.”

Mari doesn't reply, but instead continues to drag Asuka along with her as she ascends the pole to the surface.





“Finally...now that I have Reconstruction of Buster Lagann Two Divided by Twenty-Two on DVD, I can watch it and go on LagannFreaks to comment on what I think of it.” Rei tells herself as she prepares to watch said DVD.

However, a knock on her door at first startles her, but then annoys her.

“Oh now what.” she groans as she stands up and walks to her apartment room door to open it.

After doing so, her eyes widen and she asks, “Mr. Tokita...what's going on?”





“Can't you move any faster?” Asuka yells at Mari as they get closer to the surface.

“Come on, i'm trying my very best despite being unable to see a bloody damn thing!” Mari yells back. “Besides, I can hear the angel. It's close.”

“What?” Asuka yells. “The angel is close by?!?”

“Yes, but i'm in no condition to fight back.” Mari sighs back. “That's why we need to keep moving forth.”

Asuka rolls her eyes, then clamps her arms together in annoyance, just letting Mari drag her up.



Unit 05 keep ascending with Unit 02 in hand, increasingly closer to the surface up until Mari pauses as she hears the hissing of the angel nearby.

“Why did you stop again?” Asuka yells at Mari.

“It's the bloody angel!” Mari yells back. “Do you want us to get killed?!?”

“Of course not, Mari, but can you fight back?” Asuka asks her.

“I'm virtually blind right now!” Mari yells back. “Help is on the way so we should just keep our bloody arses moving!”

“Okay okay, Mari.” Asuka pouts.




Unit 05, trying to keep its best grasp on Unit 02, continues to climb up. However, the angel swims right towards them with it's jaws wide open, ready to strike.

However, Mari makes Five lean away from the angel, making it run into a wall and resumes quickly climbing up towards the surface, nearly out of the lava.




Finally, the hand of Unit 05 ascends out of the burning hot lava, signaling that they're finally near the surface.

Mari makes Unit 05 climb out of the lava, hoists Unit 02 up and throws it onto the surface.


Unit 02 lands on the gravel and rolls around as Asuka yells out, “Oooooh Mari, you crazy Brit!”

Mari, exhausted from having to make Unit 05 carry Unit 02 around, makes her EVA climb some more to jump towards the surface, but right when she readies herself to do so, the angel ascends from the demonic lava like an abomination bursting free from it's hellish prison, aiming to take Unit 05 out.

“Oh shite!” Mari yells out in shock as she hears the angel's nightmarish scream.

In a split second, Mari makes Unit 05 sway around the crane and jump onto the gravel, avoiding the angel charging at it.


“Misato, we're on the surface.” Asuka yells. “Where is our assistance?”

“Just about here, Asuka.” Misato replies back.

Unit 02 stands and looks up in the sky, only to spot an aircraft hovering over the volcano. A large crane descends out of it for the EVAs to get on it.

“Mari, Asuka!” Misato yells at them. “Get on the crane!”

The two girls nod, make their EVAs run towards the crane and jump up on it.

Once their situated on it, the crane ascends, moving back into the aircraft.

“So I guess that's it for us.” Asuka mutters at Mari. “So I wonder how they're going to take out the angel?”

“Shouldn't you know this?” Mari asks her in a sarcastic tone. “You very well know who they're sending in to finish our job.”


As the angel tramples around the surface, two shutters open up.


A large blue figure jumps out of the aircraft and descends down to the ground, landing on the gravel.



Unit 00 has arrived on the scene.


Ready to take out the angel.



“Rei, before you fight the angel, look up.” Misato tells her.

Unit 00 leans up and sees an object falling down.

“Catch!” Misato yells at her, prompting Rei to make Unit 00 jump up and grab the object.


To her surprise, it's a sword scaled to the size an EVA could wield.


“A sword?” Rei asks. “When did I deserve this?”

“Rei, that's no ordinary sword.” Yui tells her. “That's a Prog Sword. Far more powerful than a Prog Knife and a regular sword. It's yours to keep.”

“Alright.” Rei calmly replies back.

She then makes her EVA get into a fighting stance with prog sword in hand, ready to take on the angel.


“Ok...where are you?” Rei yells out, trying to see if she can get the angel's attention.

But before she could react, the angel flies right up to her EVA and knocks it down.

Unit 00 gets back up, turns around and swings the Prog Sword at the angel. Hoping to cut into the flesh, the blade of the sword instead smacks off the skin as if it hit a steel wall.

“What the hell?!?” Rei exclaims in confusion.

“...that's not right.” Misato yells out. “Why is the blade not penetrating?”

“I dunno why either.” Rei replies back.


However, as they talk, the angel's skin started to hiss and crack as it's super heated hide started to rapidly cool down. The once hard, durable skin has now been reduced to being crusty and weakened, which it started to slither off the angel down to the ground in a grotesque manner.

After shedding said skin, freakish new appendages burst right out of it's newly christened, less durable skin, revealing a new form to adapt to the surroundings outside of the volcano.

Unit 00 turns around, which Rei sees the angel's new form.

“Aw man, not this again.” she grumbles in annoyance as she sees the angel. “Alright...at least I got this sword and....ummm...this greatly improved armor..so I guess i'll do better now than my...first fight.”


Unit 00 readies itself back into a combat position and waits for the angel to pounce.


Once it does, Unit 00 takes a huge swipe at it and in a flash, blood splatters on it and the angel falls down dead, cut into two.

“...wow. That was...anticlimactic.” Rei mumbles back in disappointment as she makes her EVA put the prog sword away and walks back towards the aircraft.




From a distant, a large figure hidden in a tattered red cloak watches Unit 00 walk away.


“Misaki...that there is Unit 00. Without it taking a great amount of damage in it's fight with the Third Angel, you would not be here today.” the voice of an aging man tells the pilot of this figure.

“Yes, Master Lorenz.” Misaki tells her superior. “So is this is the girl i'm going after?”

“No.” Keel replies back. “Your target is the Second Child Asuka Langley Soryu. You'll meet her once you attend Room 2-A next week.”

“Ok, sir.” Misaki replies back.





The feed inside a dark room cuts out.

Keel Lorenz grabs his cane and walks out of the room.




He then arrives in another room covered in the sounds of a respirator and heart monitor and walks towards a figure laying on a bed.


“....Master Lorenz...what brings you here?” the person replies, albeit with a nasty wheeze underneath his voice. “Is it time for me to reunite with the perfect one?”

“Kaworu...not yet.” Keel replies back. “You're not ready.”

Alright, a new chapter already.

Nice twist on the Sandalphon fight, adding a second pilot to the fight was a good idea, liked the back and forth between between Asuka and Mari. Also the liked that Ol' Sandy got a little more fight this time around though he still sadly went out like a bitch do to thermal expansion (just a little bit less so then in the original fight) and it's also bout time we get to see that friken prog sword in action (the sword actually makes a bit of sense, well in so far as how angle are fought, given that it takes the prog concept and gives it a better lever to work with). Lastly wonder what's going to happen with this version of Kawrou..... and for that matter why was Maya so fixated on that angel.....

Indeed. Nice twist.

Chapter 33: The Birthday of Rei Ayanami




“Rei, i'm rather surprised that you received that.” Mari tells her as they walk through the streets.

“Surprised about me getting a prog sword?” Rei asks her back.

“Well yeah...then again my EVA has built in blades so i'm already covered in the blade department.” Mari chuckles.

“Heh.” Rei nods back. “Well i'm quite surprised to see you and Asuka working together. I wonder what she's up to right now?”





“Oh Verdammte Scheiße!” Asuka yells out in disgust inside a shower as she rubs a wet, soap drenched washrag all over her body and has water spray on her. “That damn suit made me all sweaty and smelly!!”.

Outside, Shinji stands in front of the door and shouts, “Asuka can you hurry up. I really need to pee.”

“Go piss outside, baka!” Asuka viciously snaps back.

Shinji shakes his head in disappointment and walks away while Asuka continues to frantically scrub the washrag all over her body.




“Well...whatever she's up to, it must be...interesting.” Mari replies.

“I can imagine.” Rei nods.


Both girls then arrive at Rei's apartment room, which Mari tells her, “Well I guess i'll see you later then.”

“Yeah...I got to watch this friggin' movie since I didn't get to earlier.” Rei replies, then adds as she and Mari hug, “You take care now.”

“Same to you.” Mari replies back.


The girls then move away from each other, with Rei going into her apartment and Mari walking back home.



Inside, Rei takes her shoes off, picks up her DVD of “Reconstruction of Buster Lagann Two Divided by Twenty-Two“ and sits on her couch.

She examines it, tempting to do another attempt at watching it.




However, her cellphone hollers, breaking her concentration in favor of answering it.

“Hello?” she ask the person on the other end.

“Rei my darling daughter. How you're doing?” her mother asks her while standing in a crowded street.

“Hey mom.” Rei replies back, then adds. “Not that much.”

“Oh that's nice dear.” her mother replies. “Since me and your father are going to be very busy tomorrow, I decided to wish you a happy birthday tonight instead.”

“Ummmm....thank you mom.” Rei replies back, sounding a little confused.

“So..14 it is.” Rei's mother tells her while starting to tear up a little. “I wish you were with us right now. It breaks my heart that your growing up sooo fast.”

“It's alright, mom.” Rei replies back with a slight chuckle. “Once my job is done here i'll be back home.”

“Ok, my darling daughter.” her mother responds.

However, she hears her husband screaming, “Goddamit I wanted spicy miso shabu shabu, not hot and sour tofu soup!“

“Ummm...why is dad having a conniption over soup?” Rei asks her mother.

“Well poo. I'll call you back when I can...so Happy Birthday!” her mother tells her, then hangs up.



Rei stares at her cellphone and mutters, “Well gee mom..thanks for that.”.


She then hangs up, puts her phone away and picks up the DVD again.


Examining it again, she tempts to watch it, but then turns her head towards her door and mutters, “You know...lemme see what I got in the mail.”

She puts the DVD away, puts her shoes back on and exits her apartment.


Outside, Rei walks to the mailbox and checks to see if she received anything.

Inside it, she finds a parcel with a sticker that says “Don't open till your birthday!” which she replies, “Oh mom and dad.”

She locks her mailbox and goes back into her apartment.


Rei sets the parcel aside and looks at the DVD again, only to take a glance at her clock and mutter, “Oh wow...looks like I need to call it a night.”, which she changes into her pajamas and goes to bed.



The Next Day...



Rei lays in her bed, sleeping.

However, her beauty sleep is interrupted by her cell phone ringing, which she leans up and groans, “Aw man. Who's calling me at this time of the morning?”

She slumps out of bed and reaches towards its and answers it.

“Hello?” she asks the person on the other end.

“Hello there, Ms. Ayanami.” a deep, mechanical voice growls back. “I know who you are and I know what you do.”

“Who is this?” Rei asks the person on the other end.

“I'm not telling, Ms. Ayanami.” the person growls back. “Only time will tell.”

Growing more impatient, Rei sighs, hangs the phone up and sarcastically mutters, “Well I had enough of that.”

She puts her cell aside, gets out of bed and walks over to the table she put the parcel at.

She picks it up and rips it open, revealing a shiny royal blue night gown, a copy of the Postal Fudge Pack and a copy of the album “Three Young Men Killed by Heat: Cruel Love Story” by the band “Engrish.”

A note is also found among the presents which reads,”Have a very happy birthday, our darling daughter.”

Rei smiles, mutters “Thanks mom and dad.” and sets the note aside.

She then looks at the night gown, picks it up, nods and walks into the bathroom.



A few seconds later, she emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but the night gown, which is draped over her body in the softest, most silky way possible.

She walks over towards a mirror and examines herself wearing said night gown, leaning her body in somewhat suggestive poses and muttering to herself in a surprised tone, “Wow...my folks sure picked such a wafer thin gown.”



Before she could get the chance to change into more acceptable public wear, the doorbell rings.

“Oh now what.” Rei mutters to herself in an annoyed tone. She then asks, “Who is it?”

The person outside shouts back, “Rei...it's me Shinji. Can I come in?”

Rei's cheeks turn a light shade of pink and gains a look of nervousness in her face. However, she quickly brushes it off and replies, “One second.”

She walks up and opens the door to be greeted by Shinji, who quickly goes from looking doe eyed to being completely stunned by the sight in front on him.

“...Rei...you...look amazing.” Shinji stammers, trying his hardest to remain polite while gazing at her stunning figure and posture.

She gives him her always warm and angelic smile and replies, “...thank you.”. She then adds, “Have a seat.”

Shinji nods back, takes his shoes off and sits on the couch. Rei immediately sits next to him.

“So what's up?” she asks him.

“Well...for one...Happy Birthday, Rei.” he replies back, sounding a bit awkward.

“Thanks” Rei responds, then adds. “Well, it kinda sucks that my mom and dad cannot be here to celebrate my 14th birthday with me.”

“Wow.” Shinji replies. “Then again, father never tried to be there on my birthdays.”

“That sucks.” Rei replies back, patting her friend on the back to calm him down. “Did your did even stick around for your birthdays when...you were smaller?”

“I don't remember if he did...but I do remember we used to be so close...then...” Shinji tries to reply, but simply stammers back instead.

“Now now there, Shinji.” Rei responds. “Just take it easy. Lemme get changed so we can go out and spend my birthday together. Just you and me.”

Shinji looks around as he hears what Rei is saying, but then his eyes widen as he hears her tell him it'll just be him and her.

“How does that sound?” she asks him, which he continues to be unsure of what to say. While he remains unable to reply, Rei contemplates reaching her right hand towards his legs, but doesn't act out on it in favor of saving it for later.

“I think it sounds alright.” Shinji finally replies back, though sounding a little nervous.

“Ok, i'll be right back.” Rei tells him, which she gets up, gets some clothes out of her drawers and walks into her bathroom.

Shinji remains put and looks around the apartment, still rather curious over Rei's belongings.


The bathroom door opens up and Rei walks out, now dressed in a Sinister Diabolical Summoning T-Shirt and slightly tattered jeans. She walks up to Shinji and tells him, “Alrighty, let's go.”

Shinji looks at her, nods and stands up.


Both kids then put on their shoes and leave the apartment. Rei shuts the door and locks it before she and Shinji depart to hang out with each other.



As they walk through the streets, Shinji asks Rei, “Ummmm...Rei...I know it's your birthday...but wouldn't you like to have Mari hang out with us?”

“Hmmm...Mari...” Rei replies, thinking for a second, then replies. “I have a feeling we'll run into her later in the day.”



“Ms. Katsuragi...can you let me in?” Mari yells, knocking on the apartment door. “I know i'm in on the surprise party, but I got something to tell you.”

Before Mari starts to get really impatient, the door opens up, revealing not Misato but Asuka standing in front of it.

“What do you want Mari?” Asuka asks her, sounding a little bored.

“Asuka...I know Misato and company are throwing a big birthday party for Rei, but I just realized something....” Mari replies, though when she tries to explain what exactly she has to say, she hesitates for a little bit.

Asuka continues to stand there, looking very unamused and grumbles back, “Come on, Mari...just spit it out.”

“I...need to take a shower. I forgot to take one at home.” Mari replies, obviously fibbing.

“Use our shower?” Asuka replies back, looking a bit confused.

Right before Asuka could say another thing, Misato walks up to her, sees Mari and replies, “Yeah Mari, come inside. You can use our shower all the time.”

“Thanks.” Mari responds, taking her shoes off and walking into the apartment.


Inside, Mari asks Misato, “So...where's the shower?”

“Right over there.” Misato replies, pointing her finger to direct Mari to the bathroom.

“Oh good.” Mari nods and smiles, which she makes her way into the bathroom.


Asuka walks up to Misato and tells her, “So you didn't warn Mari of Pen Pen, eh?”

“Oh I don't think she'll mine.” Misato smiles. “I heard she's really, really friendly with animals.”

Asuka squints her eyes and replies, “I hope you weren't being ironic when you said that.”

Misato at first doesn't react to it, but then it hits her which she yells back, “I DIDN'T IMPLY ANYTHING DISGUSTING WHEN I SAID THAT!”


Mari, who is now completely stripped down to her birthday suit and her hair completely let down, steps into the shower.

Despite not wearing her glasses, she tries her best to bathe herself in the slick, refreshing water, sliding her soap drenched fingers throughout her body and rubbing her shampoo covered hair to ensure a squeaky clean self.


However, as soap bubbles are dripping off her body, she notices something funny in the shower.

“Hmmm...why is there steam coming out of that corner,” Mari ponders as she examines a corner of the shower with tell tale gaps surrounding it.

Due to her less than desirable vision without her glasses, she doesn't initially notice a doorknob on it, but she puts her hand on it and pulls it, opening the corner and to her shock, Pen Pen shakes his body to brush off the water.

Startled, Mari makes a mad dash out of the bathroom and right into the living room, stammering, “Ms. Katsuragi, there's a bloody penguin in your bathroom!”

“That's Pen Pen. He's a warmwater penguin who lives with me, Shinji and Asuka” Misato explains.

“You could've told me a ahead of time.” Mari replies, still feeling quite annoyed.

However, Asuka then tells her, “Hey Mari...might want to get yourself some clothes on.”

Hearing that, Mari then realizes she just exposed her naked body to both Asuka and Misato, which she quickly retreats back into the bathroom to clean up and get back into her clothes.




While walking towards the shopping district, Rei asks Shinji, “Say...would you like to get a bite before I go record shopping?”. She then immediately adds, “It's on me.”

Shinji replies, “Well...ummm...maybe it would be better if you just skipped getting lunch and instead go straight to the record shop...in case something bigger and better is in store for you?”

Rei thinks for a second, smiles at Shinj and replies, “Yeah...i'm cool with that. It's my birthday, so something special could happen.”

“Right.” Shinji smiles and nods back, obviously trying his hardest to not spoil the surprise.


Both kids then resume walking to the shopping district.



Once there, they make their way to the record shop and step inside it.


“Sup Rei.” the store owner greets here. “What brings ya here?”

“Well it's my fourteenth birthday, so i'm doing a little birthday shopping.” Rei replies. “Any little special sales going on?”

“Hahahahahaha. Oh Rei...you know I don't do any special sales and deals here.” the store owner chuckles back.

“Well shit.” Rei whispers to herself.

The store owner then adds, “I'm just kidding. All items in the store are 30% off when someone is having a birthday. It's all on me.”

“Oh okay.” Rei nods and replies back.



Shinji then asks her, “So you know the store owner?”

“I'm a regular.” Rei replies. “Always cool to see what they got in here.”

“Ah.” Shinji nods back.



Rei begins to look around the shop, checking the import bins for some interesting finds.

However, her cellphone rings, greatly startling her.

She quickly pulls it out of one of her jeans pockets, grumbles a little and answers it.

“Hello?” she asks the person on the other hand.

“I didn't like how you hung up on me during our last conversation.” the person growls back in his deep, evil, mechanical voice.

“Oh you again?” Rei groans back. “What are you..some kind of jokester pulling a crank call prank on me?”

“Oh no no no, Ms. Ayanami...I want you to look out of the window.” he orders her.

“Ummmm...are you sure you know where i'm at?” she asks him, doubting he knows a single thing.

“Just look...it's not like it matters anyhow.” he chuckles back in a menacing manner.

“Fine, i'll look.” Rei sneers at him.


She walks towards the nearest window of the record shop and to her bewilderment, she sees a caped figure wearing some sort of cybernetic helmet that covers it's entire face.

The figure turns its head towards her and waves back, sending chills down her spine.

She steps away from the window, turns her attention back to her cellphone and tries to respond.

However, she hears that the person on the other end has hung up, which makes her look back out of the window, only to find that the figure has vanished out of the plain sight.

“Rei, are you okay?” Shinji asks her.

“Yeah, i'm fine.” she replies, sounding still a bit haunted by what just happened.

She then hangs up and goes to put it back in her pocket, only for it to immediately ring again, much to her annoyance.

“Okay, please explain to me who the hell you are!?!” she yells at the person on the other end.

“Woah, Rei...chill out.” Mari replies, which makes Rei embarrassed.

“Oh i'm sorry, Mari.” she replies back. “I thought you were this other person that's been bugging me since this morning.”

“Oh...I wonder who could that be?” she asks her friend.

“I'm not sure who it is outside of the fact that not only this guy sounds like Darth Vader, I literally, I mean...literally just saw Darth Vader outside of the record shop.” Rei explains, sounding extremely confused.

“So..a caller who sounds like Darth Vader and you saw him outside...sounds like a hell of a stalker.” Mari replies with a bit of a chuckle in her voice. “Just make sure he's not one of those wankers that beat off to those rape doujins...or hope he isn't.”

“Yeah...but I got Shinji with me.” Rei tells her.

She then sighs in relief, then asks her friend, “So what's up?”

“Ummmm...i'm not sure...except something weird is going on here.” Mari tells her.

“What you mean by 'weird', you silly brit.” Rei asks her.

“I dunno...just go to Misato's after you're done looking around in the record shop. She probably wants you to drop Shinji off.” Mari replies, sounding a little strange.

“Ummmm...alright...are you at Misato's?” she asks her friend.

“No, i'm just having...ummmm...a hunch. That's all.” Mari adds.

“Alright...so I guess i'll see you later.” Rei tells her.

“I think so.” Mari replies, only to abruptly hang up.


“Geez...why is everyone so weird today?” Rei ponders.


She looks at Shinji and tells him, “Ok, let's go to Misato's. I can wait to buy some CDs when I get more birthday money.”

Shinji nods back, which they leave the store.


As Rei and Shinji leave the record shop, the store owner asks Rei, “Well what about the discount?”

“Nah, I would feel more honored if I payed regular price for my stuff.” Rei humors him.

“Okay...I guess that makes sense.” he replies. “Take care, then...and happy birthday!”

“Thanks.” Rei replies and leaves the shop altogether.




About a good 15 minutes later, Rei and Shinji make it to Misato's apartment.



Outside, Rei asks Shinji, “Soo...I guess i'll see you later.”

“Yeah.” Shinji replies, “but...can you open the door for me?”

“Sure thing.” Rei replies and smiles back at him.



As she opens the door, a gigantic wave of voices greet her by joyfully shouting, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY REI!!!”

With her eyes wide open in surprise, Rei happily stammers, ”....thank you.”

“Well come inside.” Misato tells her with a smile on her face. “We can't have a birthday party without the birthday girl.

Rei smiles and walks into Misato's apartment with Shinji accompanying her.


Inside the apartment, she sees a great deal of people she knows. Faces ranging from Yui Ikari all the way to Claire Phoenix.

“How did you all arrange this?” she asks them.

“Well...we all know that you got friends at school and since we at Nerv have nothing to worry about, we all felt like throwing you a big birthday party.” Yui tells her.

“So...not only all of you managed to find some time off, but also got my school friends all under the same roof just for my birthday?” Rei asks them. “I am relatively surprised and thankful for this.”

“Yeah...we knew you would like it... especially since without you, Nerv wouldn't have been able to deal with all those angels showing up as efficiently.” Kaji tells her.


As Rei stands in awe, Aoba walks up to her, holding her guitar in his hands and whispers, “Hey...it's time we show them how we rock.”

“Yes, yes.” Rei whispers back.


She takes her guitar and follows Aoba to an area with two guitar amps and plugs are set up.

They plug their guitars in and start their pre-planned guitar battle.


At first, Aoba seems to have the upper hand with his greater amount of time to gain experience, yet Rei's noodling grows faster and more complex.

He tries to catch her off guard with a crescendo of riffs and chords that would be too hard for even a guitarist with a decent amount of experience.

Yet, Rei completely blows him and everyone else away with her own ridiculous, hard to emulate series of solos and riffs.


“Man, ain't she good?” Mari asks DesuLoli.

“I...don't like this kind of music, but yeah, she's impressive.” she replies back.

“and that's why I play drums with them.” Mari adds. “...but we need a bassist before we can start writing material.”

“Oh.” Toji replies. “I wish I could help, but I can't play bass.”

“Neither can I.” Kensuke adds.



The guitar battle reaches an level of sheer insanity as the riffage and chord progressions reach borderline orchestral levels of complexity, which Rei and Aoba have broke a sweat over keeping their A game on.

However, one of the strings on Aoba's guitar breaks, causing him to shout out, “Aw shit”, making Rei win the battle by default.

She immediately stops and puts her guitar down, looking quite sweaty and exhausted.


“Rei...that's very friggin' impressive.” Claire tells her.

“Well thank you.” Rei replies


“Okay...who wants cake?” Gendo asks everyone.


However, before anyone could say anything, Mari stands up and tells everyone, “Before you...ummm...take out the cake, I want to tell you all that...it's my birthday too.”


Everyone looks at Mari, stunned, but then quickly joyfully shout out, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO, MARI!”, which fills her heart with a warm feeling and her lips move into a heartwarming smile.



“Well lemme get the cake out, then.” Gendo tells everyone, which he runs into the kitchen and puts a rather ridiculous amount of candles onto a delicious looking cookies, cream and red velvet ice cream cake.


After lighting the candles, he takes the cake out, which prompts everyone except Rei and Mari to joyfully chant, “Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday...Rei and Mari...Happy birthday to you!”

“Alright, girls...blow out the candles.” Yui tells them.


Rei looks at Mari and asks her, “So...I guess you blow out the right side set of candles and I blow out the rest?”

“Yeah yeah, i'm itching to have some of this cake.” Mari replies, which Rei nods back.


The girls do exactly what they said and blow out the candles, which everyone around them claps and cheers at them.


Both girls smile and nod at everyone, which Gendo and Yui take the cake, put it on a table and take all of the candles out.


A good 40 minutes later, everyone has eaten all of the cake.


“Alright everyone...get in front of the camera. I want to take a picture of us all so we can remember this day years from now.” Yui tells them all.

Everyone nods and get into their own places in front of the camera to get their picture taken.


With everyone standing in front of the camera, Rei notices that someone is missing, which she asks Hyuga, “Say...where is Maya?”

“Honestly...I have no idea.” he replies.


Yui gets the timer of the camera set up, then gets back into her place, which they all pose and take pictures.



Outside of Misato's apartment, it's raining.



The Dark One is standing on the balcony of Misato's apartment, staring at the window and seeing all of the people in there.


He does not say a single word and dramatically turns around with his cape swaying along to walk away in the dark, rainy night.

Well shit, we finally get Rei's birthday blow out and it's a two for a oner to boot!

Ummm don't really got too much to say about this chapter all in all; if I were to nitpick I'd say that there's something a bit off about how Misato says, "You can use our shower all the time.” Might work better as, "You can use our shower any time you need to." or something to that extent, that and I think the way you set up Mari's "Shower of Pen-Pen induced shame" felt a little, just a little contrived but out side of that it was a pretty good read.

Also looks like our masked wonder has taken an more then a passing interest in Rei, oh noes! What will become of our blue haired heroin now?!

So much fun at that birthday!

Chapter 34: They Call Her Misaki


After a long, eventful day of partying, Rei has been returned to her apartment, complete with a large stash of gifts she received over the course of the day.

She looks at her copy of “Reconstruction of Buster Lagann Two Divided by Twenty-Two”, rolls her eyes and tells herself “Alright, i'll finally watch it.”, which she gets up, takes the DVD out of it's case and puts it into her Playstation 3.



About a good two hours later, she takes it out and mutters, “Well, that was a huge improvement over Divided by Eleven. Lemme go see what people think of it on LagannFreaks”

She puts the DVD back in its case, puts it aside, sits down on a chair near her computer and goes online.


Online, Rei immediately goes to LagannFreaks, a fan site/forum dedicated to the Buster Lagann franchise.


She makes a thread which she proclaims her love of the new movie and afterwards, search other places on the forum.


A minute later, she returns to her thread and sees that a few new posts by other people have been made.

The first response reads, “Cool. Nice to see a fresh face enjoy the movie.”, which Rei nods at.


However, the responses after that take a decidedly more...bitter tone.


“This movie sucks and is an embarrassment to the franchise!” the second response reads.

“Ouch.” Rei mutters in response.

“I think all of the people in her use ritualistic initiations of buffets and large parties instead of actual human interaction.” the third post reads with a vicious, snarky tone.

“Ok that's BS.” Rei mutters, obviously getting a bit irritated by the stream of negative replies.

“Buster Lagann Two Divided by Twenty-Two was a shameless raping of my love of Buster Lagann, you twit. All actions of it revolve around in a vacuum like everyone doesn't even spend time to talk. All it really is just an animated adaption of The Room...except The Room makes me laugh and Divided by Twenty-Two spat in my face.” the fourth comment proclaims, oozing with acidic vitriolic spite.

“Man what did I get myself into?” Rei ponders, browsing through the various comments.


The thread then gets derailed into an argument debating the quality of the film, with both sides acting sardonic and vicious, obviously forgetting that this was just a simple proclamation of Rei commenting she likes the film.


Due to it being late and witnessing her little thread getting locked, Rei rolls her eyes and irritatingly mutters, “You know...i'm just going to make a Cornette face and go 'Fuck This Community!'”, which she shuts off her computer, walks away, gets into her pajamas and goes to sleep in a very sour mood.





The Next Day...



Rei is walking to school with Mari and Shinji.


Still miffed by what happened on the internet the night before, she doesn't really talk much to her friends.


“Rei...what's the matter?” Shinji quietly asks her.

“I...went online last night and joined LagannFreaks. I watched Divided by Twenty-Two and thought it would be fun to express that I liked it, but no. A bunch of jerkwards started to hound on me, acting like elitist assholes by calling me an idiot for liking it and such, then other people who liked it got into a fight with the detractors and...my thread was locked. What a load of garbage.” Rei grumbles back in annoyance at her friends

“That's why I stay away from internet forums.” Mari replies. “Nothing but a waste of my time and mental state.”

“Well I do like to chat with other people online sometimes...especially when I play my games online.” Rei tells her friend. “but man...that was downright ridiculous what I saw.”

“I can see the appeal of online forums, but it's not for me.” Mari replies back. “I remember trying to fit into the whole forum thing back home, but I already had enough burdens on me, so I just ditched it altogether.”

“That's rather extreme.” Rei responds while looking a little concerned. “plus what do you mean about 'enough burdens', my friend?”

“Oh it's nothing I should dwell on.” Mari replies, quickly whitewashing Rei's attempt to ask her to go in depth.

“Alright then.” Rei replies back, despite sighing a bit in disapproval.

The group, without any balking, continues walking to school.


About 10 minutes later, the group arrives at school and enter their class.


They all go to their respective seats and await the instructions of the day.


However, when class starts, Hikari stands in front of the class and announces, “Class...please stand up!”


The other students stand up and look at the front of the class.


“Everyone...I like you all to meet our new classmate.” Hikari tells them. She turns her head towards the girl and whispers, “Ummm...you can speak up now.”

The new girl, who has medium length brown hair, dark eye circles and overall looks relatively sickly, smiles back, looks at her new classmates and tells them, “Hi. My name is Misaki Baisotei. Hope to get acquainted with you all real soon.” while constantly smiling, which Rei, Mari and even Asuka find to be a bit unsettling.

"Alright Misaki, you can take one of the empty seats available.” Hikari tells her.


To everyone's surprise, she sits next to Asuka, which makes her a little unnerved.

Misaki looks at her and asks, “So...you must be Asuka Langley Soryu?”

"How do you know that?” she asks her.

“I dunno. I guess I was watching some news feeds on my way over here.” Misaki replies back.

“Ahem.” Hikari groans at them. “Please keep quiet in class you two.”

“Sorry Hikari.” Misaki quietly replies back, which Asuka gives her a sneer.


“Mari..there's something...off-kilter about that Misaki girl.” Rei tells her friend.

“Yeah, I know.” Mari shrugs back.


Shortly after school, Rei and Mari are walking on campus, obviously meaning to their own business before leaving when DesuLoli approaches them, looking quite upset.

"Hey Kristina...what's the matter?” Rei asks her.

“Rei..do you go by the user name 'BlueHairWonder01' on LagannFreaks?” DesuLoli asks back.

“By a matter of fact yes I do.” Rei replies. “You're a member on there too?”

“Yes. I go by the username 'SuperKawaiiOtaku671' and...I have to ask you for a favor?” she tells and asks her.

“What you need?” Rei replies back.

“Well...i've been writing a Buster Lagann fanfic and...the usual suspects of elitist jerks that patrol the Reconstruction subforum have been...tormenting me over how much my fic...sucks in their eyes.” DesuLoli explains. “and I want to see if you can...write a story that'll teach them a lesson.”

“Well i'm not too busy at the moment, so sure...I can do that.” Rei replies while smiling.


However, Asuka, who's been overhearing the conversation, walks up to them, gets into DesuLoli's face and yells, “You like that piece of völlige Scheiße?“

"Well yeah.” DesuLoli replies. “In fact, I like it a lot more than the dreadful original series.”

“You're full of crap.” Asuka sneers at her. “Reconstruction is a complete insult to the franchise and those who are fans of it. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Hey now, Asuka. I quite like Reconstruction as much as I like the series.” Rei adds.

Not interested in arguing with Rei, Asuka raises her right hand and yells, “I'm not talking to you, wonder girl, i'm talking to your baka of a friend DesuLoli and her love of the asinine Reconstruction films over the far superior originals.”

Rei rolls her eyes in irritation and stays quiet.


"Now you might not know it, but the original made me weep when I saw my favorite characters die and go through all the crap they suffered, but Reconstruction is a total, complete spit in the face of the spirit of the original that's close to my heart and that's why I utter despise pieces of scheiße like you who support the merchandise driven molestation of the Buster Lagann series.” Asuka continues to yell bitterly at DesuLoli.

"Asuka, I consider you a friend like everyone else I know, but you're acting completely silly.” DesuLoli replies. “Yes, while I don't like the original Buster Lagann series, there's plenty of sheer greatness it presents which I very much accept and appreciate. I just don't like the trite cliches that bogged down the original which made it less enjoyable for me to watch.”

“Trite and cliché?!?” Asuka raises her voice. “You're such a moronic baka. Reconstruction is a million times more trite and cliché than the original and you're an ungrateful piece of trash for thinking like that.”

“and this why I stay away from internet forums.” Mari whispers to Rei.

“Come on, you two. This is not the time for you two to argue over such trivial things like a friggin' anime.” Rei groans at them.


“Shut up, wonder girl!.” Asuka yells at her. “This is between me and DesuLoli so please stop butting in!”

“Fine.” Rei groans back.



From a distance, Misaki spies on the argument through binoculars. She has a devious grin on her face and remarks, “This is all too perfect of an incentive for me.”

She then puts her binoculars away and walks towards the estranged group.


"Asuka, can't we just accept we have radically different opinions of the same movie?” DesuLoli asks her in a remorseful tone.

“..nope. No way. I cannot accept your approval of those foul, disgusting movies.” Asuka sneers back.


Without any sense of warning, Misaki walks up and tells them, “Hey now what's going on?”

Asuka darts her head towards Misaki and yells, “Hey you're not a part of this argument, new girl.”

"Now now, Asuka.” she replies. “I just want to talk to DesuLoli. Is that okay?”

DesuLoli shakes her head in approval, obviously wanting to get out of this heated debate.

"Fine, just take her out of my sight!” Asuka snarls at Misaki.

“Yes.” DesuLoli quietly exclaims as she walks away from Asuka and follows Misaki. “I'll see you later Rei...and good luck with that story.”

“Same to you..and I won't let you down.” Rei replies while waving back.


Mari looks at Rei and whispers, “I think we should go to your place before Asuka busts our heads open.”, which Rei nods back and they immediately make a mad dash for it, leaving Asuka alone.

"Wait...I didn't mean for you all to abandon me!” she yells in dissatisfaction over the direction the situation went. “Just because I dislike Reconstruction doesn't mean we can't be friends!”

However, she stomps on the grass and grumbles to herself, “Was für eine Last von gottverdammte Scheiße!“



"Sorry if we haven't introduced each other sooner, but my name is Misaki Baisotei. Nice to meet you...Kristina Hoffle..or shall I just call you...DesuLoli.” Misaki introduces herself.

“So I guess you're a fan of my internet show?” DesuLoli asks her.

“Oh yes I am, it's an honor to meet a minor celebrity like you.” she replies back, smiling at her.

“Well i'm quite...speechless.” DesuLoli replies, obviously getting butterflies in her gut meeting a fan of her show.

“Thanks...so I guess you can....ummm...show me around town, eh?” Misaki asks her.

“Sure.” she tells her, which the girls proceed to walk out of the school grounds.


Shortly before departing, Claire approaches them, asking, “Can I come along with you two?”

However, to her surprise, Misaki ignores her, grabs DesuLoli by the hand and takes her away.

"Kristina, I want to help show the new girl around too.” she pouts in disappointment.


DesuLoli immediately stops and tries to keep Misaki from dragging her along. She tells her, “Come on, new girl. Claire is a friend of mine. She can show you around town too.”

Acting coldly arrogant, Misaki effortlessly drags DesuLoli along, much to her shock and to Claire's disappointment.


Seeing that they've a bit out of distance, Claire mutters, “That new girl...there's something really off and...cruel about her.”



Back at her apartment, Rei, accompanied by her friend Mari, is sitting by her computer and has a writing document open.

"So what are trying to think of?” Mari asks her.

“I dunno. I want to write something...crazy and over the top.” Rei sighs, obviously struggling to figure out what her story for DesuLoli should be about.

“So...aside from that...can I watch a movie while I chill here?” Mari asks her.

“Yeah go ahead and browse my library.” Rei replies back while trying to come up with ideas.

“Hmmmm...okay. I think it could be where this woman is having a major case of unhinged paranoia and she is being hounded by this group of half-retarded zombies. They constantly drag along whips and chains to vanish her. I think that they are chasing after her because she..hates the Watchmen movie.” Rei thinks, trying to conjure an interesting plot that is the basis for her story.

However, she rolls her eyes and mutters, “Nah...that's not interesting. Relatively boring actually.” as she quickly scraps that idea and comes up with another.

"Okay maybe it should be about a really bald yet muscular detective who rides around on a pneumatic bicycle. He goes after this group of skinheads that have stolen the world's supply of doughnuts and copies of Pink Floyd's 'The Final Cut'...because they don't like either and want to deprive everyone of both?” Rei continues to think.

Again, she mutters, “Bah, that's even stupider than the last idea I had.”, totally scrapping that one instantly.

"Alright..maybe I should write about this guy who's driving a sedan and crashes it. He is scorched like flaming yawn on a grill and resurfaces a few years later as Sir Toasty, which he must fight this man with an afro going around hacking off body parts that was originally his and he...was the big rival of Sir Toasty prior to the accident because they strongly disagree their views on...Alien 3?” Rei again ponders some more on finding an acceptable story to write.

“Eh...too derivative of Do-Man and Body Parts.” Rei shrugs, again quickly scrapping yet another rejected story idea.


“Still having trouble there?” Mari asks her while looking through her friend's DVD collection.

“Yeah, but i'll eventually find the right idea.” Rei replies back, looking a bit unsure and clenching her hands over her head.


Somewhere by a deserted alleyway, DesuLoli leans against a wall, looking very flustered over what's going on.

"Misaki..what's your problem?” she asks her. “What's your big problem with Claire Phoenix?”

“Oh nothing, Kristina Hoffle.” she replies back in a relatively sinister tone as she emerges from a shadowy corner, pulls her right index finger out on her mouth as if shes' tasting something and has an evil grin on her face. “It's just..I wanted to get us alone..one on one.”

“Whoa whoa whoa.” DesuLoli stammers back. “You think i'm a homosexual and you wanted to drag me into a darkened alleyway alone with you just so you can hit on me?”

“No no no, Kristina Hoffle.” she replies, keeping her eerie, malicious tone of voice. “I am not interested in sexual relations and I have no desire to hit on you.”. She gets right up into DesuLoli's face with her almost unnatural grin and adds, “Hit you...on the other hand...is what i'm very much cool with.”

“...What do you mean by that?” she asks her.


Without replying, Misaki deliberately punches DesuLoli in the gut, showing no sense of emotion in her face.

DesuLoli, winded and quite sore from the punch, kneels to the ground, looks up at Misaki with a horrified expression and painfully moans, “Wh..wha...why?”

Misaki continues to simply stare and DesuLoi, showing no sign of walking away.

Bidding her time and trying to resist the pain, DesuLoli finds a crowbar near her, picks it up, quickly darts up and clobbers Misaki in the face in retaliation.

However, Misaki slowly turns her head around, revealing a bit of a fresh gash on her face.

Despite blood dribbling off of her face, Misaki simply smiles back and doesn't even wince in pain over her wound, which horrifies and baffles DesuLoli to the point where she asks her, “...what are you?”

Misaki licks her lips, cranks her head a bit and grinds her right fist right into DesuLoli's face, knocking her out cold.


With DesuLoli knocked out, Misaki kneels down, showing no hint of expressing pain and sorrow, pulls her cellphone out, dials a number and tells the person on the other end of the line, “Master Lorenz...I have the American girl.”

"Good, my dear Baisotei.” Keel replies, showing satisfaction. He then adds, “Once the angel makes its way to Tokyo-3, I want you to dial this number I have to set your final objective into motion.”

“Ok Master.” Misaki replies back. “ but what about DJ?”

“Don't worry about him.” Keel replies. “He and Kaworu will be making their way to Tokyo-3 in a few weeks to scout the area for us so we can set our master plan in motion.”

“You mean...The Human Instrumentality Project?” Misaki replies, “haven't you told Mayumi about this plan too?”

“No Misaki.” Keel replies, “Mayumi has too much to worry about already and I don't want to burden her any further with out plans of population unification.”

“Alright, I see.” Misaki replies back. “So I should just take the American girl back to my EVA?”

"Yes.” Keel replies. “I'll talk to you after you've completed your mission...good luck my dear child.”

“Thanks Master Lorenz.” Misaki replies and hangs up.


After hanging the cell phone up and putting it away, Miskai effortlessly picks DesuLoli up and takes her away, completely out of anyone's sight.


Still trying to come up with a good story idea, Rei looks around the room and sees that Mari is watching the original “Hysterical Violence”, which quickly makes Rei remember an idea she had, smiles and tells herself, “Yes...Bloodjaw. That's what the story should be about. All too perfect.”

Ayanami Vengeance takes on internet fandumb.... oh dear....
While this might piss a few people off (just a few?! .).. yeah.. that about sums shit up... people just can't agree to disagree or get into discussions with out it turning personal... and the saddest part is when it's all over a piece of fiction... this shit should just be for fun.. not all this serious business bullshit, I mean there are far more important things in this word to get made about... but I digress

Anywho outside of the above this was a nice little set up chapter; Like how twisted Misaki seems and it's good to see the Seele plot appear again especially with the big reveal that Seele has it's own Eva's and pilots and also with the kidnapping, wonder why they want teh DesuLoli for. So all in all another good chapter, can't wait till the next

Is this still happening. It is very intriguing.

"Master Terrence...my name is Daniel Barton. I'm here to bring the attention of a 'request' of an assassination to you." a thin man in a dusty black tuxedo informs a haggard man with blood stained bandages wrapped around his head.

"What could this assassination request pertain to?" Master Terrence asks Daniel. "We haven't had any requests for hits in a week, so please...enlighten me over what the job is."

"Well...this 16 year old girl by the name of Krissy Nathanielson, best know as TheAnimeFreak, has requested your best man to take out a group of 'snarky' individuals giving her hell over how she loves the live action tetralogy adaption of the famous anime 'Power Deceiver and the Angels of Hate'." Daniel replies back and explains, though he starts to crack up over explaining the absurdity of the request.

"Daniel, we don't fill such petty and trivial requests." Terrence replies, chuckling a bit over the request. "I greatly despise fanbases and what they all stand for with a burning passion, but I find sending out our best assassin to take down fans who disagree with another to be in poor taste."

"Exactly." Daniel nods back. "but as dumb and childish as it sounds, there's a major catch."

Terrence's eyes open wide, which he leans towards Daniel and asks, "What's the catch, eh?"

"Little Miss Krissy is of royalty. Her parents are very very wealthy. This little job of ours can foist a great paycheck onto us."

Terrence leans back, thinks for a few seconds, then replies, "Okay...i'm in...but who should we send in?"

"Perhaps the Surf Ninja?" Daniel asks him. "I've heard he's pretty well qualified to do the job despite his love of reefer."

"No." Terrence snaps back. "This job calls for a real assassin."

"Who?" Daniel questions him. "Who's this 'real' assassin you plan to pay for the job?"

Terrence shifts his eyes, leans towards Daniel's face and replies, "...Bloodjaw."

Daniel's eyes open wide in a fashion that suggest he has nothing else to say.




"So you want me to drive my ass to Pittsburgh and Oklahoma just to murder some detractors of a live action tetralogy adaption of some stupid anime?" a sinister sounding man gutturally snarls at Terrence, which both men are sitting in dingy, poorly lit room.

A gloved hand reaches towards a cigarette and pulls it. Blood stains has soaked the living hell of the cigarette as the hand grinds it into an ashtray. Blood drips onto the coffee table as the hand pulls out another cigarette and lights it.

"Bloodjaw, why must you smoke in my lobby?" Terrence annoying asks him.

"...because I can and I don't a fuck anyhow." Bloodjaw snarls back in a snarky tone as he continues to work at the cigarette. His face consists of a shiny pitch black motorcycle helmet with part of it on the bottom sawed off, revealing a blood soaked skinless mouth.

He leans back a little, then adds, "I still think this is the single stupidest assassination request i've ever received. Sure, the pay is amazing, but the concept alone is fuckin' retarded and childish. Driving on my million dollar Harley to two locations to kill two innocent pricks that don't agree with this bitch's opinion on some dumb ass movies not only strikes to me as unfathomably dumb, but also brutally thoughtcrimish."

"I know, I know. I completely agree with you." Terrence replies, but leans back, smiles and adds, "but the pay. It'll be the most we'll ever get in our damn lives. Besides...someone wants to speak to you."



Despite his eyes not being visible, he rolls them in discontent as he turns around and sees a teenage girl with blonde and pink hair.

Seeing Bloodjaw, the girl is taken aback by his disturbing, somewhat stomach churning appearance, but remembers why she's there.

She looks at him and informs, "Mr. Bloodjaw...my name is Krissy Nathanielson but you can just call me TheAnimeFreak."

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me?" Bloodjaw scoffs back in his head, then adds. "Well it's nice to meet you...AnimeFreak." with a subtle sense of embarrassment.

"Same here." Krissy replies. "Now while my folks are going to fork over a lot for you to get the job done, I want absolute proof that you did."

"Wait...what do you mean by that?" Bloodjaw asks her, which he then tells himself, "Man I really should just blow her fuckin' head in half if she's gonna pester my ass over doing my goddamn job."

"I want you to...bring me a little part of them to show me that you dispatched their ungrateful selves. No tiptoeing around me. Just pure proof." Krissy replies in a relatively stern voice.

Bloodjaw just nods back and replies back, "Yes yes I will do this. Now please...let me go and do my job, mmmkay?"

Krissy, satisfied with what Bloodjaw told her, smiles and hugs him, which confuses him at first but then simply rolls with it and hugs her back, though the blood of his exposed jaw drips on her left shoulder.

After they both break away from each other, Krissy points her right index finger up and tells Bloodjaw, "Hang on a second...I got something for you to make your appearance less obvious.".

"Okay okay...show me what you got." he replies back and stands back as the girl walks to another side of the room and grabs a paper bag. She brings it back and hands it over to him.

Bloodjaw takes a peak into the bag, darts his head back up to Krissy and replies, "The fuck is this shit?"



Claremore, Oklahoma


"Well shit man...this person keeps posting this textual vomit. It keeps getting ridiculous.".

Someone is sitting by their computer. On their computer is the site "Incredibly_Upcoming_Movies.org", a movie website dedicated to films on the way. It contains a forum that has a bit of a controversial stride in how wildly decisive and split opinions can be.

A dog jumps onto the chair next to the chair where the computer is at. It looks at the screen but simply tilts its head back and forth only to jump off of it.

In another room of the posh looking house in the suburbs, a lanky man with messy brown hair walks around with a cellphone, chatting with another person on the other end of the line.

"Yes I know that I really should be away from the internet, but goddamn these people can get so stupid. Hell, I actually find the live action Power Deceiver film to be okay, but seriously...there's too many flaws for me to stay quite." the man talks into it.

He passes by a stockier man sitting on a couch, wearing a Oklahoma Sooners T-Shirt, somewhat baggy jeans and a Nickelback hat, drinking a bottle of Smirnoff Black Ice and watching a game of Football on the television.

"Hey Gerald, get your skinny ass out of the way. I don't want to miss a single play of my homeboys." the stocky man loudly grumbles.

Gerald turns around and yells, "Goddammitt Berty why do you always have to get all up in arms at me when i'm in the way of your precious football shit. You see i'm on the phone?"

"Well yeah..." he replies back, pauses, takes a sip of his drink and adds, "but I don't give a fuck that you're on the phone. I'm tired of your and your bullshit 'persecution complex' crap you make me put up with."

Not really interested in putting up with him while on the phone, Gerald simply walks out of the way and walks towards the front door.


While standing by the door, Gerald continues to chat on the phone until the door bell rings, making him tell the person on the other end of the line, "Alright man, someone's at the door. I'll chat with you on IRC later.".

Gerald hangs up the phone and opens the door, only to open his eyes in bewilderment as he sees a fairly tall man in a leather jacket, leather gloves, black jeans and biker boots wearing a Norio Wakamoto mask over his head which makes him think to himself, "The fuck is this shit?!?"

The man bows and cheekily asks, "The just a little person, I am said selling the stock where you rori are splendid. That is correct, is?"

"Ummm...pardon me, buddy?" Gerald asks, sounding even more perplexed by why this strange person has come to visit him.

"Well coming being, I when you each other dye the kusotai hair with tentacle deirudo, heard the girl of a hot teen and with the best of the pornography of animation. The companion please not be disappointed to me?" the strange man asks him again, sounding a little disappointed in Gerald's response.

"Why is this son of a bitch speaking on broken Engrish?" he continues to ask himself why this is happening of all things.

"The person who comes on. As for me like CM flat tire of WWE of all ones dangling, please do not keep. Please teach just the place where the pornography of this kusoanime is retained?" the man asks again, sounding increasingly more impatient and irritated.

"Look man, if you could just stop talking to me in that piece of shit Engrish you're speaking in and actually try to speaking proper English, I could help you with what you want but at this state...i'm afraid I can't so please...go bug some other tortured soul's home with your verbal vomit." Gerald yells at him, looking like he's about to reach for his cellphone and call for the cops to have the man removed from the premises.

"After that, safely…Don't you think? hateful the person, it is to act playfully!" the man screams which he kicks Gerald right back into his house and proceeds to walk in and shut the door behind him.



Inside the house, Gerald tries to crawl away from the invader, but he grabs him by the back of his shirt, lifts him up and tosses him into the living room. Gerald turns himself over and looks at the man with a look of fear on his face. However, the man just stands there, lifts his right index finger and takes off his mask, revealing that it was Bloodjaw all along.

Gerald keeps looking at him, only now with an increased sense of utter despair and horror after he revealed what was underneath the mask. Bloodjaw pulls out a pistol and growls, "Buddy...just stay there. I don't like what i've been tasked to do but I have to do it anyhow."

However, he turns his head towards the room with the computer and sees a cabinet full of DVDs that perks his attention.

"Stay the fuck down now, I need to see what shit you collect on DVD." Bloodjaw growls at Gerald while aiming his pistol at him, which he nods at him in fear, giving Bloodjaw the opportunity to walk over to the room and stand right near the cabinet.

He opens the cabinet and looks through the various DVDs stored in there. Most of them are fairly obscure horror, sci-fi and cult films that simply perk his attention and increase his lack of desire to kill the person as contracted.

"Why the fuck should I kill this person when they have such a great DVD collection?" Bloodjaw continues to ponder, obviously losing complete interest in killing Gerald. He turns around and tells him, "Buddy, i'm not going to kill you, okay?"

"Uh...uh...uh...okay. Why did you come to kill me?" Gerald stammers back as he replies.

"I'm a contractual killer sent to murder you. However, if you know someone else that I can kill and claim it's you then by all means, direct him or her to me." he explains in a sincere tone.

Gerald nervously smiles, stands up and replies, "Um...um...hang on a second.", which he walks over to Berty and stands in front of the TV again.

"Goddamit Gerald, the fuck you want now?" he shouts at him.



Several minutes later, Bloodjaw exits the house, wearing the mask again, waving at Gerald with one hand and holding the bloodied severed head of Berty in the other, spinal cord still attached and all.

He gets onto his motorcycle, puts the head into the bag the Norio Wakamoto mask was originally in, shoves the spinal cord into it to make it not noticeable, starts the motorcycle up and drives away.





Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania



In the streets, a slightly nerdy looking guy in a orange blazer, an Apex Twin t-shirt, acid wash jeans, some Nike Kicks and horn rimmed glasses is walking on the street holding a vintage rare keyboards and a Moog synthesizer all while clutching a hold of his car keys.

In the background near a corner, Bloodjaw, once again wearing the Norio Wakamoto mask with passerbys not even noticing him.



The nerdy guy walks up to his car, unlocks the back doors and carefully puts his newly bought vintage equipment into the backseat. After he gets out, he sees Bloodjaw standing there, which startles him a little.

"Hey dude...what's up with the Wakamoto mask?" he asks him. "you really should've wore a suit while you were at it because the biker getup totally ruins the look."

Bloodjaw, not amused, slowly takes off the mask, revealing his grisly biker helmet and bloodied, skinless and muscleless mouth, which makes the nerdy guy's eyes open wide in utter horror and run away from him. Bloodjaw proceeds to follow him, which he chases him for a minute or two until the man simply stops cold to clench his arms onto his stomach to ease the pain.

Bloodjaw catches up with him, grabs him from behind and pulls out a knife which he puts against his throat. "Why, man..why are you doing this to me?" he asks Bloodjaw.

"No hard feelings, this is just my job and give TheAnimeFreak her regards." he growls at him as he keeps a strong hold onto him.

"What the hell are you...TheAnimeFreak, what the fuck does she has to do with...." the man shouts back, going from confusion to irritation, though his speech is dropped when Bloodjaw digs his knife into his neck, making a nasty geyser of blood spill out as he cuts around the neck and right into the muscles and spine.

After going completely around the man's neck, he lets the body go, puts his right foot onto its back and rips the head off completely, allowing more blood to profusely spray out, yet not a single passerby even directs their attention to the grisly events that have just occurred.


Now having killed this person and pretty much finishing his job, he takes the severed head and his mask back to his motorcycle. He puts the head and the mask into the bag, starts up his bike and once again, drives away.




"Alright, Little Miss Anime Freak. I've done the job." a returning Bloodjaw tells Krissy after he walked into the headquarters he works for, holding the now bloodstained and smelly paper bag with the severed heads.

"Show me the heads, Mr. Bloodjaw." Krissy replies, demanding him to show her proof of his killings, which he nods back.


He puts the bag on a table and reaches into it. The first thing he pulls out is the Norio Wakamoto mask, which he shrugs it off and tosses it aside. He then pulls out the severed head of the nerdy guy, still looking a bit fresh and puts it onto the table.

"Oh I take it this is that guy who's been the biggest pest in shitting on me on the forum. So obviously looks like him." Krissy tells Bloodjaw while smiling.

"Well I hope it really was him. the location in Pittsburgh was so vague, I might've just killed some other random schmuck." he shrugs to himself. After that, he pulls Berty's head out, which still has the spinal cord attached and has already started to enter rigor mortis and very early stages of decay. He puts the head onto the table, which Krissy plants her hands over her face to keep the horrible smell away.

"Uhhhh...i'll just take it that you killed who you were supposed to kill but for goodness sake, put that wretched thing away!" she yells back, which Bloodjaw nods and puts it away, which makes Krissy move her hands away and sigh in relief.

"So I guess I can say thank you for taking out the detractors for me." she adds.

"Well...you're welcome but I got one last task to do before we depart." Bloodjaw replies.

"and what is that?" she asks him, looking confused, which he proceeds to pull out his pistol and shoot her point blank in the center of her forehead, causing blood to erupt and splatter against the wall she was sitting in front of.



“Rei, what in the bloody hell are you thinking?!?” Mari yells at her as she reads the short story her friend has written for DesuLoli. “You write a short story for Kristina and you decide to kill off the Captain Ersatz based on her. Real smart of you.”

“Oh shoot. I dunno what I was thinking.” Rei replies with a nervous smile and chuckle. “My imagination can run so wild, I forget what i'm supposed to do sometimes.”

Mari looks back at her, completely unamused by her friend's response. “Can't you just rewrite the ending of your story so Bloodjaw doesn't kill Krissy?”

“Yes, Mari...i'm doing that right now.” Rei sighs back as she highlights the entire part she typed that depicts Bloodjaw murdering Krissy by shooting her in the head with his gun and with a simple tap of the backspace key, deletes them and starts to type out an entirely new sequence as a replacement. She spends a good minute or so of thinking and typing right until she hits a key and shouts, “Done!”

“So what did you do instead?” Mari asks her, looking a bit jaded.

“So basically after Krissy says 'and what is that?', Bloodjaw instead pats her on the back and tells her 'Krissy, my girl...I like to tell you i'll consider you an honorary member of our assassin league, so with that said...want any ice cream?'. I then wrote 'Krissy simply smiles back and follows him as they leave the building, hop onto his motorcycle and drive off to the nearest Baskin Robbins. The End.” Rei informs Mari. “Does that sound any better?”

“Well....it is a more upbeat ending. I'll give you that at the very least.” Mari sneers back. “So..that does mean you're finally done writing that silly thing.”

“Of course I am...which means it's time for me to....PRINT!” Rei happily shouts back as she sets up the printer, puts some printer paper in it, gets the computer ready to print the story and clicks on her mouse to let it start printing.

However, Rei's excitement starts to cool off as she sees her printer is printing the story at a rather unusually slow pace, which the first sheet being printed in a methodical, workman like pace.

“Lemme guess...this is gonna take a while.” Mari sneers back, sounding very unenthusiastic about the whole thing.

“I...don't know. Sucks that it is.” Rei sighs in response, looking like she's growing a bit bored. “So you want to watch a movie to bid the time?”

“Sure thing.” Mari responds as she stands up and stretches her legs. “Surprise me with what you got in store this time.”

“Well...there's The Visitor from 1979, which is a really funky American/Italian co-production. Another such co-production is 1981's Nightmare, which is really really nasty. Or maybe we can just watch Tokyo Fist.” Rei replies, grabbing said DVDs and showing them to her friend.

Mari nods as she sees the DVDs, but quickly replies, “Tokyo Fist, hands down. Pop it in.”, which Rei nods back, takes the DVD over to her DVD player and puts it in, which both girls sit on the couch and watch it together.



“Shinji...can you change the channel, this stupid movie about this stupid Pumaman is boring me.” Asuka shrugs as they sit on a couch of their own. “While you search for something better to watch, i'll ask Misato about something.”

“Okay okay.” he calmly replies back and starts to channel surf as Asuka gets off the couch and walks over towards Misato who's sitting on a table and typing away on a laptop.

“Ummm...Misato...I have a question to ask you.” she asks her.

“Sure thing.” Misato replies back. “I've told you before that you can ask me anything you like.”

“Well...is it possible that you can retain a friendship despite having wildly split opinions on something?” Asuka adds, sounding very calm and reserved.

“Of course, silly. Just because you strongly disagree with someone doesn't mean you should despise and demonize the person while ending your friendship with them. Only crazy people with issues do that.” Misato replies in an honest manner.

“Oh okay. It's just that something that happened early today has been bugging me like crazy, it's just been...” Asuka replies. However, Shinji cuts her off by informing her, “Asuka, you gotta see what's on the TV.”

“What is it, baka Shinji?” she asks him, not sounding amused that her roommate has broke into her chat with Misato.

“It's really serious, you need to see this now.” Shinji shouts back, still retaining his calm tone somehow.

“Okay, okay i'll see it, you baka.” Asuka shouts back in response which she gets back up and sits on the couch again, only to see something on the TV that makes her eyes open wide in utter despair and horror.


“Early today, Kristina Hoffle, better known as the internet pop culture icon 'DesuLoli' went missing and has yet to be found by anyone. If anyone knows the whereabouts of Kristina Hoffle, please contact the Tokyo-3 Police Headquarters as soon as possible.” a news reporter on the evening news informs the viewers, all while Asuka watches in sheer horror and quietly mutters, “What have I done?”




Chapter 35: The Tragedy of Saying Goodbye.



Inside an abandoned warehouse, DesuLoli is tied to a chair, with her arms and body tied to the chair and a towel wrapped around her mouth which acts as a mouth gag.

“Rise and shine, Kristina.” Misaki sarcastically tells her hostage, which she slowly opens her eyes and sees her decked out in a sinister looking SEELE issued plug suit that's mostly shiny black and with demonic red indents and streaks in various places. “We got so much to do but in so little time.”

DesuLoli, who looks really zoned out and completely lost, simply keeps her head slumped to the side and watches her captor. Misaki then adds, “Well you just wait here while I have a little chat with someone who's been trying to get a hold of me right now.”, noting that her cellphone is ringing. She takes it out and asks the person on the other line, “Yeah what is it, Master Lorenz?”

“Misaki...i'm letting you know that you should get yourself in your EVA and get in position with the girl in hand. The angel is on it's way to Tokyo-3 so I need you to get into position so the Second Child can make her way over here while her friends, most importantly, the First Child, will be distracted with fighting Diemael.” Keel informs her in a stern tone.

“Okay, I am all up for this fighting, but why can't I personally confront the First myself?” Misaki asks her superior in a whiny tone.

“You may be strong, but you're not an organic being that was meant to live for a prolonged period of time. Your task, as you should remember, is to try to mentally affect the Second Child in hopes of her wanting to give up working for Nerv and eventually sway her away to working with us. The First Child on the other hand, is a whole different can of worms that we're working on. She is very, very important to us at SEELE, so we can't afford you to confront her, especially now.” Keel sternly adds.

Misaki continues to chat with her superior when she feels a weird feeling in her body which immediately makes her tell Keel, “Master Lorenz...i'm starting to feel sick.”

“Have you taken your elixir yet or are you nearly out of it?” he asks her.

“Oh shit, my elixir!” Misaki shouts back which she puts her cellphone aside, frantically looks through a bag and pulls out a case. She puts it on the floor next to her cellphone, opens it up and finds a sole half-empty hypodermic needle in it. She picks the cellphone back up and tells Keel, “Master Lorenz, there's just one more left and it's only half-full.”

“Don't worry, Misaki...you'll be fine.” he replies back, which she nods back and once again puts her cellphone aside.


With the needle in hand, she pulls a little part of the collar of her plug suit away to reveal a slightly ghastly looking bump that notifies that it's where she injects the elixir into her body. She slowly pushes the needle into the ugly bump and injects the elixir into her body, which she starts to shake a little in a slightly orgasmic manner. She then quickly pulls the needle out, tosses it aside and puts her hands onto a nearby table to let the elixir finish passing through her body and to stop shaking.

After standing for a good 20 seconds, she stops shaking, tilts her head back and sighs in relief as she pulls the collar of her plug suit back up over the bump and picks her cellphone back up.

“Master Lorenz..i've taken my elixir. If I don't make survive my mission because I didn't have a full dosage, please don't take my death in vain.” Misaki informs her superior.

“Yes, Misaki. We at SEELE will not consider your death to be in vain if it happens.” he replies in a sincere tone.

“Thanks, Master.” she replies back while smiling. “I'll get to my position and do my job.”

“That's my girl.” Keel responds. “Do your best and i'll either congratulate you or see you on the other side years from now.”. He then hangs up, which cues Misaki to hang up her cellphone and put it aside.

She then refocuses her attention towards DesuLoli, takes out a knife, walks up to her and tells her, “Alright Kristina...it's your time to shine. I'm going to break you free from the ropes so you can play your part in our grand scheme.” as she cuts the ropes and lifts her up. She puts her knife aside, sets DesuLoli on the ground and adds, “Stay right here. I'm going to go inside my Evangelion so we can get started.”, which she doesn't reply and continues to look glazed and dazed.

Misaki walks away from DesuLoli, walks towards a ladder, climbs it, gets onto a platform that leads to a very roughly made entry plug. She opens it, gets inside, closes the door and activates her EVA, which makes the entry plug shove itself inside.

In her cockpit, Misaki puts her hands on the controls, twist her lips into a sinister grin and chuckle, “Alright...let's get this over with. Bring on the Second Child!”





Back at Rei's apartment, she and Mari are sleeping next to each other with the movie now at the end credits. However, loud knocks are heard outside of the apartment which startles both girls, waking them up from their sleep.

“Aw shoot. Who is this?” Rei grumbles as she tries to get herself awake.

“I dunno, it's your apartment so you go see who's at the door.” Mari grumbles back, sounding even more tired than her friend.

“Alright Mari...i'll go see who it is.” Rei replies, sounding a little more awake now. She gets off the couch and walks towards her apartment room front door. She opens it and is immediately greeted by a slightly agitated looking Agent Smith.

“Ummm sir Agent Smith...what brings you here at this time of the night?” she asks him.

“Is Mari Illustrious Makinami with you?” he replies and asks her, sounding dead serious.

“I'm here, Agent Smith.” Mari replies, sounding more awake than she did a few seconds.

“Good...which means I need to take you two to HQ so you can both suit up and get into your Evangelions alongside Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu to confront the angel ASAP.” he informs them.

“Oh man.” both girls moan in unison. “an angel fight this at this late at night...really?”

“Technically you mean early this morning.” Agent Smith dryly replies. “but anyhow you two need to come with me now. No questions.”

They both nod, get their shoes on and start to follow the agent out of the door. However, Rei quickly stops and remembers that she was printing the story for DesuLoli, which she quickly runs to her printer and sees it finished printing as she and Mari fell asleep watching Tokyo Fist. She snatches the papers and resumes following Mari and Agent Smith to out of her apartment.

“Ms. Ayanami...can I ask you why you're taking those papers with you?” Agent Smith asks her.

“Well there's a friend at school and since me and Mari have to go there later in the day, I thought it would be for the better if I took the story I wrote for her with me ahead of time and so I wouldn't forget it in case I didn't have any time to go back home after finishing the mission.” Rei explains to him while holding up the papers.

He simply nods back while directing her to follow him and Mari to his car.



“Pilots...your mission is to eliminate the angel as always.” Misato informs the children, who are already in their plug suits and standing in a line shoulder to shoulder to each other. “However, you must be very careful and precise in taking it out because it flies and can easily cause massive damage to your EVAs if you allow it to fly into you.”

“So you're saying we have to take the angel out with precision shots?” Asuka asks her. “so what if this angel actually uses its AT field to deflect our firearms?”

“Normally, I would disagree with you, but in this case it's a very good possibility.” Rei replies. “We've faced angels that are strangely avert from using their AT fields so it's possible this one will use it's AT field considering that it's supposed to be pretty darn lethal...though speaking from past experience, not using an AT field doesn't always mean less dangerous.”

The other EVA pilots nod back as they continue to stand there receiving orders. Mari then looks up and asks, “So...would it be a bad thing if I tried to do a trick shot with my EVA's built in blades?”

“No Mari.” Gendo replies who's standing next to his wife and Fuyutsuki. “Once you can position yourself to penetrate the angel's core with one strike then by all means do it. You're fully authorized to do so under my order.”. These little comments make Misato cringe a little.

Yui looks at everyone and asks, “Any more questions?”, which none of the children reply, though Shiro runs up to her and asks, “Is Jet Alone Prime going along too?”

Gendo looks at him and calmly replies, “Yes Mr. Tokita...your silly mech is acting as support in this mission so get it ready and out with the EVAs.”

“Okay man. I'll be right on it.” he replies back and runs back to where Jet is stored.

Gendo focuses his attention on the children and tells them, “Now you all get into your EVAs and get into position.”, which they nod back and head towards the entryway to their entry plugs.



Rei, Mari and Shinji walk with each other with Shinji asking, “So Rei...how you're doing?”

“I'm doing okay despite being less than amused with this spur of the moment mission.” she replies. “earlier, I was writing a story for DesuLoli as promised so I printed it all out and brought it with me in case we have to go to school immediately after this mission.”

“Ummm Rei...about DesuLoli.” Shinji quietly replies, sounding rather serious.

“What is it?” she replies back, sounding a little puzzled.

“DesuLoli has been reported missing since after school.” he responds in a slightly upset tone.

Rei, at first, looks to be taken aback by this news, but then she lowers her eyebrows and inquires, “...maybe this angel fight could be connected to this. Something sounds totally fishy now that you mention it.”

“That's a rather...bizarre assumption.” Mari replies. “but at the same time, you could be onto something.”

“Yes I could very well be.” she replies back to her friend. “but anyway, we gotta get to our EVAs and take down this angel.”

Both Mari and Shinji nod back, which all three kids decide to run towards their designated entry plugs and get it started.



Inside Unit 02, Asuka sits in her darkened cockpit with her hands clamped together and her head leaning against them as if she's praying. She quietly tells herself, “Oh bitte Gott, dass Kristina nicht tot ist. Bitte Gott, sag mir ich nicht vermasseln und führen sie bis zu ihrem Tod mit meinem Mist Aktionen von früher. Bitte Gott, sag mir, dass ich in der Lage sein, sie zu finden und ein Unrecht, tun Sie dies bitte für mich. Ich will nicht traurig sein über mich...bitte?” right until the lights in her cockpit come on, notifying her that she's ready to get into action. She breaks away from her sorrow filled self and chuckles. “Okay you gott damn angel. Bring it!”


Asuka, alongside her fellow EVA pilots, stand outside in the streets, inside their Evangelions and accompanied by Jet Alone Prime.

“Rei...can you see anything?” Shinji asks her. “I'm still not used to doing this at night.”

“I doubt any of us are used to piloting our Evangelions when it's dark.” she replies back.

“If you ask me, my Jet Alone Prime Maniacs, I can see things clearly and don't see this angel, brother.” Jet adds, still sounding really goofy with his Hulk Hogan derived AI.

However, all of them become alert when they hear a high pitched shriek and the sound of something flying with a high velocity coming their way.

“Alright everyone, get into position. The angel is on it's way and we're going to try to kick it's ass.” Rei orders everyone, sounding determined to stop it with her co-pilots.

The EVA pilots make their Evangelions pull out their weapons while Jet takes out his hammer, all anticipating to attack the incoming angel. However, much to their shock, they see a monstrous white winged creature with sharp teeth and mandibles heading their way like a freight train on the loose, making them all dodge out of it's way to avoid getting hit.

“What the bloody hell is that?!?” Mari shouts out in utter shock. “Who in the bloody world are we able to stop THAT!?”

“I dunno.” Rei replies, “but I guess that's why we have to be more strategic in this fight.”

“Okay.” Shinji calmly replies. “I think we'll be able to stop it. We've always been able to stop these angels all the time.

“Bah, I think we should just blitzkrieg it!” Asuka yells back, sounding a little eager and arrogant. “It should be easy to do so.”

Everyone else facepalms at Asuka's delusional response and get even more horrified when they see her make her EVA get in front of everyone else, making them all scream, “ASUKA, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?!”

“Yes, you bakas. A matter of fact, i'm probably more crazy than any of you will ever be.” she sneers back and gets into a position ready to try to take the angel out.

However, a large video screen that's near one of the buildings turn on, showing the face of Misaki's Evangelion which catches everyone off guard.

“What the hell is that?!?” Rei stammers back, looking completely confused by what is now going on.

“Hello everyone...and most importantly...the Second Child. Most of you might not be too familiar with my Evangelion but to refresh your memories, my name is Misaki Baisotei. You may recognize me as your classmate in Room 2-A but there's far more to me than meets the eye. You see...i'm actually the Third Child of SEELE. Like you, i'm a child that pilots an Evangelion as you can see, but I work for SEELE, a company that has some...resentment towards your beloved Nerv, thus i'm here as a sort of...ahem...word of warning to your superiors if they keep veering off the wrong path against what my superiors have ordered them to follow.” Misaki explains, obviously painting a rather dark, grim and shocking picture with her words and inflection that surprises everyone.

“Okay Misaki...are you and your superiors at SEELE responsible for this particular angel fight?” Rei asks her in a dead serious tone.

“I have no authorization to tell you that, First Child of Nerv.” she snaps back. She then adds, “However...you stupid Nervlings, I do have authorization to show you this.” which she then makes her EVA lift up DesuLoli to make her visible to her audience.

All of the Nerv EVA pilots widen their eyes and mouths in utter horror as they see their fellow classmate being held captive by this enemy on the screen. Rei being shocked that the person she wrote a story for has not only been found but is a hostage to a even bigger threat than the angel and Asuka in particular fuming mad over what she thinks Misaki has done.

Rather than staying quiet, Asuka shouts out, “Okay Misaki you SEELE bitch, you've taken what i've been worrying about and i'm coming to find you to kick your ass and take her back!”

“Hehehehe, you think you'll be able to find me, Second Child of Nerv...especially when you'll leave your friends behind to rot after the angel tears them apart?” Misaki cackles back, sounding very amused by what the Second Child yelled at her.

Rei makes Unit 00 walk up to Unit 02 and she tells Asuka, “You go ahead and find DesuLoli while I, Shinji, Mari and Jet take care of the angel.”

“Okay.” Asuka quietly responds, which she then makes Unit 02 walk up to the screen and shouts at Misaki, “Alright...if you can give me a hint where you and DesuLoli are located, i'll show you what i'm made of and trust me...you have no idea that i'm far more capable of kicking your ass than you think.”

At first, Misaki stays quiet, then replies, “Enlighten me with your combat skills...but anyhow...i'm in a really big and messy looking warehouse. If you can find the right one, we'll fight mano e mano over the hostage...okay?”

“You bet your ass!” Asuka shouts back, sounding very determined and confident, which she doesn't wait any longer and makes her EVA run away from the site to look for the warehouse Misaki and DesuLoli are in while the live feed Misaki was in cuts out, leaving the screen blank. The rest stay there and huddle together to come up with a plan to take the angel down.


Unit 02 frantically runs through the street, leaving footprints in the streets. It searches through the various warehouses right until it stops at a rather peculiar one, which right at that moment, various gun turrets pop out of nowhere and start shooting at the Evangelion, forcing Asuka to make her EVA dodge the attacks, pull out its assault rifle and destroy all of the turrets in a mere 20 seconds. Rather than putting the assault rifle away, Unit 02 keeps it out and proceeds to walk towards the warehouse and enter it.


“Rei, you think this is a good idea?” Mari asks her while she and her EVA with it's blades extracted stands on the ground while the others and Jet Alone Prime hide behind buildings with their rifles in hand.

“I think so. Me, Shinji and Jet will shoot at the angel while you try to get onto it and penetrate the core on it's head with one of your EVA's blades. You got that?” Rei replies, informing and ordering her friend.

“Eh...okay.” Mari sneers back, remaining put. From a distance she sees the angel heading their way, making Unit 05 get into a fighting position. As soon as the angel gets close to them, she makes her EVA jump onto it.


Unit 02, inside the warehouse, slowly walks around with it's assault rifle in hand...right until it's caught off-guard by Misaki's freaky looking makeshift SEELE issued EVA. With a dual bladed spear in hand, it knocks Unit 02 down the ground, proceeding to walk away from the red armor plated EVA to put it's spear aside, take out its own prog knife and pick up DesuLoli to get Asuka's attention.

“DESULOLI!” Asuka shouts as she sees Misaki's EVA hold her classmate against the prog knife.

“I can see you made it, but i'm afraid it's almost too late for your American otaku friend here.” Misaki chuckles back. “However..before I kill her, i'll let her say her final words.”

“Oh mein Gott ... bitte sag mir nicht, ich bin wirklich seing diese.”, Asuka quietly mutters to herself in utter horror.


Slowly, DesuLoli starts to feel the effects of the drug Misaki injected into her blood stream wear off. Even though her body still feels distant, she feels that she's up in the air and that the restraints and gag are gone. Her vision though is still a kaleidoscope of greatly distorted and sickening swirls and colors. However, one particular blob of flowing red in her sights start to seem familiar to her. She tries her hardest to focus on it as best as she can and it dons on her.


It's Evangelion Unit 02!


Taking a moment to clear her head she asks, as slowly and clearly as she can, “Asuka...is that you?”

Unit 02 reaches it's hand out towards DesuLoli while Asuka replies, “Yes DesuLoli...it's me. I'm sorry for acting like a total ass earlier.”

“It's okay, Asuka. I was a total jerk myself. Arguments like that can bring the worst out of us.” she replies back while lightly smiling. “If I die now...please tell my friends, my family...and my ex that I love them all.”

“Desu...Kristina...don't say things like that. I can save you. Don't believe that junk Misaki told you.” Asuka cries back.

“Asuka...I believe you can...I believe you ca...” DesuLoli replies, but in a split second, Misaki makes her EVA cut it's prog knife through DesuLoli's body and with a simple two handed push, her body splits in half with her upper body and lower body flying in different directions, completely horrifying and devastating Asuka in mere seconds.



“Rei...I have to give you this, but i'm shocked that this bloody damn angel IS using it's AT field.” Mari yells out while her EVA hangs onto the angel with a fairly strong grip.

“I know...it's totally ridiculous that of all the angels we've fought, THIS ONE decides to act smart!” Rei yells back, sounding greatly irritated by what's going on.

However...to everyone's shock, Unit 01 comes out of hiding, holding a rocket launcher in hand.

“Shinji...what are you thinking?” Rei yells back in a very concerned tone.

“I think I can help weaken the angel with this.” he replies back, still keeping his calm tone which makes Rei roll her eyes in disbelief.

After staying quiet for a few seconds, Rei replies by sighing, “Go ahead Shinji...do it and see if it works. Just try to not hit Mari and Unit 05 by accident.”

“I won't hit them. Just the angel.” Shinji replies back with a smile which Unit 01 aims the rocket launcher at the angel, turns on the tracker, has it track onto the angel and fires it.


Unit 02 and Misaki's EVA duke it out, with Unit 02 wielding it's prog knife and Misaki's EVA wielding the dual blade spear.

Although Misaki is the more lethal of the two, Asuka's unhinged anger and rage towards Misaki gives her the upper hand in the fight, coming off as completely ruthless. Both EVAs hit their weapons with very little instances of the weapons actually hitting either EVA.

This intense brawl rages on for a good three minutes, with Misaki's EVA spinning its spear to deflect the prog knife attacks. However, Unit 2 finally smacks the spear away and puts its prog knife away to initiate a hand to hand fight.

Misaki makes her EVA tackle Asuka's and try to pound and ground it's head, yet Unit 02 manages to block the punches and simply deliver a punch of it's own straight into it's face, even going as far to ripping off the red blindfold that covers parts of the EVA's face, revealing a very freaky and revolting visage underneath that makes Asuka all the more irate, culminating in Asuka making Unit 02 push the rival EVA off and grab the spear.

Misaki, shocked that her enemy has bested her, simply makes her EVA back away as she whines out, “Ummm...I apologize for killing your friend, but it was for the better.”

“What did you say?!?!” Asuka growls back, making Unit 02 aim the spear towards the enemy EVA's neck.

“Never mind that but...” Misaki replies back but in a frightening split second, Unit 02 stabs and cuts up the enemy EVA in a vicious manner, stopping right when it's red armor and the spear are splattered in blood, tossing said spear aside.

The enemy EVA slumps down, completely bloodied and damaged beyond recognition while Asuka makes her entry plug pop out. She gets out of her EVA, gets down to the ground and runs to DesuLoli's upper body. When she gets there, she tries her hardest to keep her emotions from running wild yet DesuLoli grabs her by her right leg, coughing out, “I'm so glad to see you one more time, Asuka.”

“I know...i'm so sorry that I talked shit about you and your love of Reconstruction. Even though I do not like it, it was rude of me to act that mean to you.” Asuka stammers back, on the verge of shedding tears.”

“I...I...I just want to tell you that i'll be with you and the others till the end. My...body may not be with you, but my spirit will.” DesuLoli continues to cough out, growing paler and sicker looking by every second.

Asuka kneels down, lifts her classmate up while carefully not doing any more damage to the massive exposed spine, flesh and entrails. Blood, guts and spinal fluid continue to seep out of the exposed part where her lower body used to be.

Despite trying her hardest to stay alive, DesuLoli starts to cough up blood and vomit, signaling to Asuka that her time on this planet is almost up.

“Please don't die on me...Kristina. Please don't.” Asuka cries to her while slowly starting to shed tears.

“I'm...sorry...Asuka...but...I have...to go. I...see...see...see...” DesuLoli coughs back for one last time until blood, snot and bile spews out of her mouth, eyes, nostrils and ears. What remains of her body starts to violently shake while Asuka tries to help her but in a split second, she stops still.


Kristina “DesuLoli” Hoffle, age 17, has died in Asuka's arms. Forevermore.


From a distance, the entry plug of Misaki's EVA pops out and opens with lots of steam and smoke blazing out of it. Misaki climbs out of it, coughing as well. She gets down to the ground and approaches Asuka, despite vomiting blood, bile, mucus and pus. She stops, pulls the collar of her plug suit away and sees the bump now completely open and infected looking, spewing out bloodied and gunky pus much to her horror. However, she discards it and resumes walking towards Asuka.

“Asuka...you fucking Germanic cunt...I cannot believe you...managed to bring me down like this. I'm going to kill you now, you bitch and if I die, I assure you my fellow SEELE children and SEELE themselves will be out to get you.” Misaki screams out, despite her voice starting to sound scratchy and a bit incomprehensible.

“Not on my watch, scheißkerl!“ Asuka screams out after standing back up and simply kicks Misaki in the head but much to her horror, she instead causes her foe's head to crumble and splatter away in half.

What's left of Misaki's head starts to spray out a massive geyser of blood, pus and bile while her body starts to violently vibrate. Once it stops spewing out wretched bodily fluids, it drops suddenly to the ground, motionless, with urine, excrement and pus pouring out of the vagina and anus, seeping through the plug suit and creeping onto the floor.

Staring at complete disbelief, Asuka simply takes a few steps back and tries to comprehend what just happened.


Despite Unit 01 shooting the rocket, it continues to follow the angel, which Unit 05 is still hanging onto. However, Mari manages to get her EVA close enough to the core and stabs it, making the angel spin around and contort in pain.

“Mari...make you EVA jump off the angel. The rocket cannot follow it any longer!” Rei screams at her.

“Okay, Rei. Will do”, she replies back, making her EVA jump off and land on the ground.


The angel continues to spin around like a total spaz right until the rocket finally reaches it. It widens its eyes in shock when it sees the rocket and without any notice, the rocket hits the angel, blowing it up.

“Target neutralized.” Maya tells the pilots. “Mission accomplished.”

The pilots and Jet Alone Prime celebrate in their success, yet Asuka then breaks through the feed, informing everyone, “Guys...I have some good news...and some very bad news.”

“What's wrong?” Misato asks her. “First...tell us the good news.”

“I have neutralized Misaki Baisotei and her Evangelion.” Asuka quietly replies.

“Okay...so what's the bad news, then?” Yui asks her.

“Kristina Hoffle...has been murdered. Murdered in front of my eyes.” Asuka adds while breaking into tears. “I'm sorry Rei...but she cannot read your story now. I'm sorry.”

Rei's eyes start to get teary too which she slumps her head down towards her controls, totally unable to comprehend the news she has received.

Rather than saying anything, she instead bursts into tears and cries to herself inside her cockpit over the news she has received regarding her now-deceases fellow classmate she wrote a story for.

Oh boy, did that just happen?! RIP der DesuLoli

Alrighty, you had me going WTF?! there in the beginning with the fan-fic with in a fan-fic but then you dive into what happened to DesuLoli to a massive angle fight which in turn was a set up by Seele to play nerv which ends with a (semi-)major character buying it. Phewwwwww!

Now for the bad end, ummmm got a few spots where you forget to capitalize the beginning of a sentence as well as a few uncapitalized “I'ms”.

Also while your narrative is improving I did find a few old mistakes in there (note that I'm discounting the Lockjaw fic for obvious reasons though I think you might of meant “Surf Ninja, not “Surf Nina” Heh).

For example the sentience, “Misato informs the children, which they are all in their plug suits and standing in a line shoulder to shoulder.”

The“which” here is a poor choice of wording and the “they” is petty much unnecessary, “who are” along with an “already” tossed in wold read much better.


Another one, “DesuLoli, who's no longer tied up at all, doesn't have the towel wrapped around her and obviously looks a little drugged up, slowly and calmly asks [/cut]”

This one just feels rushed through and goes back to the “guy hiding in the corner, describing the scene” days or your writing. Another way to of worded this is to have described her state before letting us know shes speaking. To give you an idea:

“Slowly DesuLoli started to feel the effects of the drug wear off. Even though her body still felt distant she could feel that she was up in the air and that the restraints and gag were gone, her vision though was still a kaleidoscope of swirls and colors but still there was one blob of flowing red that started to seem familiar to her. She focused as best she could and it came to her, it was Unit 02! Taking a moment to clear her head she asks, as slowly and clearly as she could, XXXX”

Lastly, “simply kicks Misaki in the kick”. Heh, I don't think I need to point out the obvious here.

Now don't get me wrong, your are doing a hell of a lot better then when you started but these are a few things that are you seem to be having trouble with so hopefully by pointing them out it'll help you over come these hicups in the future.

Oh, and on another topic. Seeing Jet Alone Prime here really got me thinking about just how you plan on “shooing away the clowns”, so to speak, when you start to pick up the more serious side of things.

thanks for the feedback, my friend


fixing the fuck ups as described now