[Fic] The Angels Free Will

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[Fic] The Angels Free Will

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Postby Legend of the Past » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:37 am

So I've begun writing a fic about Kaworu, one of my favorite NGE characters. Some events will differ from the series, but the general outcome will be the same.

Chapter 00: First Encounter

October 4th, 2010, UN headquarters in London, England


The young boy blinked, adjusting to the darkness that enveloped the room he was led to. The boy lifted his hand and tried to focus on it. Even that was not visible. Total darkness.
Light then surrounded the boy. Twelve of what appeared to be stone tablets appeared around him. Each of the tablets had the word SEELE on it, and under it a number, 01 to 12, and beneath that the words 'Sound Only'. Those tablets emitted a luminescent light that made Kaworu see nothing then them and himself, making it seem as if he was in the center of darkness.

"I welcome you, young Kaworu." A voice boomed across the room.

Kaworu calmly smiled.

"Welcome, Keel Lorenz." He replied.

Keel Lorenz was a shadowy figure that ran young Kaworu's life. For the last ten years Kaworu had been very intrested with meeting that person who had made sure he was always fed and safe. He wanted to meet the man who would nurture mankind''s butcher.
The boy felt silence as the twelve people who observed him through the hologram tablets stood silent, their eyes trying to find something threatening in the young Angel.

"I am pleased to finally be able to talk to you, young Kaworu," Keel Lorenz finally said. "you are a very special child."

"I am aware of what I am." Kaworu replied with a warm smile, though his voice was anything but pleasent.

"Yes." Said another voice. "Then we are all equal in knowledge here."

Kaworu almost chuckled. Old fools. We, Angels, will not be manipulated by the human fools. Equal in knowledge? You humans do not know your own purpose, how can you even expect to know mine? As foolish and cocky as ever. One must wonder if mankind truly was blessed by the Fruit of Knowledge. Kaworu kept those words to himself. He wanted to appear harmless. Harmless nearly until the very end.
However, Kaworu already saw SEELE was uncomfortable with Lorenz bringing the child here. Lorenz himself seemed to have regrets about his decision.

"Let us cut to the chase, here," Kaworu said, his smile lingering. "What could of happaned, what could of been so severe that the manipulators of all mankind would of risked bringing a living, breathing Angel that their meeting?"

"Our intrestes intersect, Tabris." Lorenz replied. "You wish to return to Adam. We have Adam. We both wish to initiate Third Impact."

"You lie to me," Kaworu said. "why do you lie to me? I can read the truth from your minds. You may wish to initiate Third Impact, but certainly not for the right reasons. You wish to become God. You humans cannot become God. Your existence can't contain that essence. The most you can become is an entity without pain. And that is not even a fraction of what God is."

The members of SEELE were silent once more. They weren't pleased with the boy reading their minds. Kaworu could feel this, as well, and his eyes flicked almost madly.

"Why did you call me here?" He asked again, more firmly.

"We are afraid someone much like you has perished." Lorenz said.

Kaworu's eyes narrowed.

"Sister?" He asked.

"Yes." Lorenz replied. "She had been strangled to death by a GEHIRN employee. That employee was later found at the foot of the command tower. We are uncertain if she had been pushed off or fell off."

GEHIRN was an organization funded and backed by the UN with defending the earth and recovering after the cataclysmic events of Second Impact, which took place ten years ago and cost mankind dearly. The glaciers of Antartica melted, leading to many floods and had effectivly disrupted the Earth's climate, trapping the planet in an eternal summer. However, the irony was that the steepest price was that which man inflicted upon himself-Second Impact triggered wars, which had eventually, along with Second Impact itself, set the death tool of mankind in almost half of it's population.

"And who is this employee?" Kaworu asked, too disturbed to wrench the truth from the old man's mind.

"The name is of little importantce." Lorenz said, but sensing the boy could find out regardless added, "but it is Naoko Akagi, head scientist for GEHIRN."

"And what shall you do in this matter, Lorenz?" Kaworu inquired.

"It is not our buisness." Replied another voice. "That girl is in Gendo Ikari's personal custody, and how he will deal with the situation is of little importatnce to SEELE or Third Impact."

Gendo Ikari, GEHIRN's newly appointed leader who was at the past one of it's scientists. He could feel the distrust oozing from the minds of every one of the twelve members, espically Lorenz's.

"However," Lorenz continued, "This girl is special. She has the potential of playing a grand role in the events to come. I shall authorize her continued production to Ikari, and disband GEHIRN. It's purpose is completed after the production and successful activation of Evangelion Unit 01, and it can be replaced for a new organization who will take into it's hands to protection of mankind."

"So you've called me to tell me that you'll create an organization whose purpose is to destroy me?" Kaworu chuckled. "That is too rich."

"This meeting is adjourned," Lorenz said, apparantly tired of the boy. "Kaworu, we will stay in touch with you. We predict your role in the events to come will be instrumental to our... yours and ours... cause."

Kaworu turned and left the dark room from whence he came, minutes earlier. He pushed the heavy door open and walked outside, to be washed by afternoon sunlight coming through the long, glass windows in the white corridor of the UN United Kingdom Headquarters.
The young boy blinked, his eyes adjusting to the light.
I would not be used by you, Lorenz. The boy thought calmly. What you, and most other humans fail to realize, is that the world does not revolve around you, and you cannot play with things such as me or my brethern, skillful puppeteers as you may be.
The boy turned left in the corridors, humming 'Ode to Joy' as he went.
Last edited by Legend of the Past on Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Mr. Tines » Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:19 am

Very competent writing; just a few proof-reading type issues. About the only stylistic quibble would be with the description of the SEELE monoliths, which is a bit clunky.

Perhaps "Twelve black stone-like slabs" or "Twelve black slabs like tablets of basalt" - (or obsidian, if glossy) rather than just stone. The description of the numbering could do with similar polishing.
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Postby Legend of the Past » Sun Jul 09, 2006 9:12 am

Mr. Tines wrote:Very competent writing; just a few proof-reading type issues. About the only stylistic quibble would be with the description of the SEELE monoliths, which is a bit clunky.

Perhaps "Twelve black stone-like slabs" or "Twelve black slabs like tablets of basalt" - (or obsidian, if glossy) rather than just stone. The description of the numbering could do with similar polishing.


I shall take those into consideration, thanks. Feel free to note any other problems, I am eager to improve my writing.
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Postby DatDude » Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:13 am

http://www.darkscribes.org/

If your intrested in joining the darkscribes tell them DatDude sent you
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Postby Legend of the Past » Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:21 am

DatDude wrote:http://www.darkscribes.org/

If your intrested in joining the darkscribes tell them DatDude sent you


Who're the Darkscribes?
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Postby DatDude » Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:41 am

Its a good place for fiction writiers to post their stuff and avoid the crapfest that is fanfiction.net.

You can learn a bit by talking to the peopl their and if you read other fics their better quality then most places
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Postby Legend of the Past » Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:47 am

@DatDude-Heh, I'll look into and probably join. Thanks for the suggestion and I'll be sure to mention you.

Chapter 01: The Arrival

September 13th, 2000, Antartica, cruiser of the Katsuragi expidition

Keel Lorenz and Gendo Ikari stood at the back of the Katsuragi expidition cruiser, still contemplating what had happaned a mere hour ago. They were leaving behind the continent of Antatrica, which was sinking into the depths of the sea which had now turned red, a frozen wasteland now forever destined only for the depths.
Gendo Ikari was a man in his early thirties at the time. His skin was a dark shade, and his hair was brown and usually uncombed. His eyes appeared to be sharp, but had a certain caring feel to them. If only he knew that in years to come, his eyes would be masked by the dark shades and his eyes will have lost their kind-like touch, forever trapped in a glare that would mirror the pain of his soul. He wore a think green jacket and trousers adorned with fur, and his boots were made of hard leather.
Keel Lorenz, leader of the SEELES society seemed mostly the same as he would in the advent of Third Impact. His face were wrinkled and old, and his eyes were covered by glasses, who in years to come would be replaced by visors who will fix his complete blindness, which at the year 2000 was still only partial.His face was once again in a constant scowl, as if he's displeased with everything and everyone. He wore a thick leather jacket, like Ikari, except his was long and managed to cover his legs, as well. The ends of the jacket were tucked into the boots, and the jacket was long enough to not rip apart by this.
Lorenz looked at Ikari longingly until he said:

"So you believe me now?" He asked.

"I'll never be truly sure if I should believe you." Ikari replied. "If nothing else, I believe the Scrolls."

"It's the same thing in my eyes," Lorenz said and looked at the red sea, "I work according to the Dead Sea Scrolls to ensure mankind achieves it's pinnacle of existence. You saw that Angel, Ikari... He was the one who fed off the Tree of Life. It's tremendous power comes from that... Mankind fed off the Tree of Knowledge, but it is still far from being the epitome of the perfect mind. There is still so little we understand, and so very much to learn."

"I can see your enthusiasm," Ikari said with a wry grin. "But I believe we should keep out of this buisness. You saw what happaned with Adam, there. Who knows what the consequences could be? For all we know we did irreparable damage to the planet's very axis. We pratically beat the hole in the ozone to ruining the Earth's axis."

"Sacrifices must be made for things to go on correctly." Keel said. "Perhaps even the dead will join us in Third Impact."

"Perhaps." Ikari echoed the old man's words, " The planet's not even started suffering with Second Impact, and you're already planning a Third. And 'perhaps' the dead will join. But even if not, you don't mind. You gotta break some eggs, right?"

"Yes, if you will." Keel said. "But what did you think of that thing?"

"Hmm." Ikari paused in thought. "There isn't really so much to say without more in-depth analysis. What we encoutered there is Adam, the first Angel. The Spear seemed to have an intresting effect on him... But it didn't do what you perdicted, did it?"

"How was I supposed to know Adam would self-destruct?" Keel asked. "The Dead Sea Scrolls predict when they come, but not when they'll do."

"Still.." Gendo said, looking more disturbed. "That embryo... I wonder if all Angels come from Embryos."

--- --- ---

May 28th, 2004, GEHIRN HQ in GeoFront

A white haired, pale small boy walked into the command center of GEHIRN. The boy's face was sharp and his eyes looked all over the place, as if the boy was in a panic.
Kozo Fuyutsuki, the Deupty Commander of GEHIRN, looked at the boy disapporivingly and glanced at Gendo, who went into the Command Center after him.

"I thought you, of all people, would know that this place isn't meant for children, Ikari." Said Fuyutsuki

Fuyutsuki was an aging man, seemingly in his fifties at the time. His hair was greying already, and he seemed like a rather serious person. Once a professor at Kyoto university, he had already been not only a collegue, but a friend to Gendo Ikari and his wife, Yui. However, he was never above criticising Gendo.
Gendo just said quietly, "It was a request from SEELE."

"SEELE.." Fuyutsuki mumbled with a touch of bitterness. "Who is this child anyway?"

"His name is Kaworu Nagisa." Ikari said. "He's originally Japanese, though his family was relocated to England before the N2 Mine was dropped on Tokyo-1. One intersting detail is his birthday."

"His birthday?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"September 13th, 2000." Ikari said, his eyes full of intent.

"Second Impact." Fuyutsuki said. "Well, that's rare, but not impossible.."

"SEELE told me to make sure he comes to no harm." Ikari continued. "And there's not much SEELE wouldn't be willing sacrifice. They've also confirmed he has the potential to be a pilot."

Fuyutsuki rubbed his chin and looked at the child. The child stopped looking around and stared at the old man's face.

"What do you want, sir?" The four year old asked.

Fuyutsuki was almost surprised. That voice sounded so intentful, so aware. He never knew any children who appeared to be this serious.

"He's been pretty calm." Gendo said. "Let's just have him stay around for a while."

Fuyutsuki sighed, a sign of approval.

"How are the preperations for EVA 01's Contact Experiment going?" Ikari asked.

"They are going well." Fuyutsuki replied, "The technicians tell me it's all gonna go as schedueled, and the experiment should take place next week, as planned."

"Good." Gendo said and took his seat on the Commander's chair.

"Gendo.." Fuyutsuki asked, somewhat weaker. "Are you sure you want Yui to go through with this?"

"No." Gendo replied. "But it's her decision... I wish it was mine, but..."

Fuyutsuki sighed again.

"I hope you won't have a kid running around here in the experiment, at least." He said.

--- --- ---

March 19th, 2015, Flight to Tokyo-3

Kaworu Nagisa looked at the small collection of news clippings he's collected before leaving England. He's looked at the largest one, the one from September 14th, 2000. The day after his birthday. The day after Second Impact. It described a small meteor, travelling at near light-speed hitting Antartica and melting the ice-caps.

"A meteor.." Kaworu almost spat from anger. "As always, Lilim keep the guilt away from themselves, when it they who should be judged for Second Impact."

Kaworu sighed and placed his head against the seat. There was a movie being played. He really enjoyed looking at mankind's society. Sometimes humans did something really good, and it was worth watching. But this movie was all the more enjoyable, beacuse of the song played in the background. "The Ode to Joy". That was his favourite song, and in his eyes the grandest of mankind's creations. He had known the song ever since he was a small child, and had heard it countless times since, in every chance he could. Each time, he marvelled at the song's beauty, the synergy of the instruments and the choir, but most of all, the fact Lilim were the ones who crafted this beautiful piece of art. If anything was good in mankind, it would certainly of been their ability to craft such beauty merely by thinking and working to acheive a goal.
The movie ended about half an hour before the plane landed, and Kaworu began reading through the articles once again, trying to find exactly where SEELE had lied and where they had allowed the truth to be revealed. He was very disappointed to find out that the only things they didn't lie about were the obvious facts, the facts anyone can see. By the time he had gone through the 8th article, the plane was almost at Tokyo-3's airport. He took off the seat belt several minutes later and disembarked the plane into took the first breath of Japanese air he had taken in a long time. It smelled of blood. Both that of Lilim and that of Angels. It was rather sickening. He wondered if this was only here in Tokyo-3.
Kaworu Nagisa was fifteen. He was considered tall for his age, almost abnormal. Everyone who didn't know him for what he was thought he was albino- His skin was very pale, his hair grey and his eyes were a threatening red. He was very thin, which somehow seemed to fit with him being as tall as he was. He wore black trousers and a white, buttoned shirt under which he wore an orange T-Shirt.
The boy stretched and sighed. It was late in the afternoon when he arrived, and a tinge of red was already licking at the bottom of the horizon. He began walking out of the airport. He didn't have any luggage, NERV was to provide for him, and he had nothing worth keeping. At least in his eyes.
The Fifth Child walked through the mostly abandoned streets of Tokyo-3. After more than ten Angel attacks, almost everyone had left Tokyo-3 for a place more safe. But then, is anywhere except for Tokyo-3 really safe from the Angels?

"No." Kaworu told himself with a wry grin. "Especially not now."

And indeed, much of Tokyo-3 was being rebuilt, or simply left at rubble. He wondered if NERV had already stopped caring about wether or not places will be rebuilt or not. Both they and SEELE know the end is near. Kaworu had grown to believe that almost all of mankind had felt the end was nearing, and that what loomed ahead might not be a bright future. Humanity's fate seemed sealed; if Kaworu succeeds, they are doomed. If SEELE succeeds, they are still doomed. If Gendo Ikari, whatever motives he may have, succeeds, they are doomed. How poor they must be... They are thrice-cursed, and are not even fully aware of it!
Kaworu's walk through Tokyo-3 led him to a beach. The sun was already setting, and coupled with the beach it was beautiful... It was enchanted, everyday magic. Humans may be able to replicate Angels, replicate themselves and replicate much of nature's work, but never will they be able to recreate this eternal beauty.
Kaworu sat on a rock on the beach and looked at it. Several moments later, he noticed someone sitting next to him. A boy, around his age. He had bright skin, and short brown hair, and dressed much like he did. He had reminded him of someone he had met earlier in life.
The boy seemd too disturbed to notice, and Kaworu was partially hidden behind another rock. So Kaworu dived into the boy's mind.
Kaworu had read many minds. It mostly came to him as thoughts or flashes of memories. Kaworu understood, as time passed, why this was all he could read: People's minds resisted. There was only so much you can extract from a mind before you are forcibly pushed out. And going into people's minds and memories was what other Angels specalized in, so he only had limited power when it came to breaking into other people's minds. When he was young all he could pull out was a name, a string of words, an image. Now he could take out two sentences. He could know one's enitre family. He could see one entire memories of the past week. And so, Kaworu dived into the child's memories...

shinjiikariyuiikariayanamireigendoikariasukalangelysoryulabclonesreiangelsunit01

And then Kaworu's consiousness was shot out of the boy's mind.
Suddenly, the boy's familarity seemed natural-he was Gendo Ikari's son. Gendo Ikari was the head of GEHIRN, before it was disbanded and replaced by NERV in 2010... Shortly after his first meeting with Lorenz. This was, then, Shinji Ikari, the Third Child, pilot of Evangelion Unit 01. His mother's name was Yui Ikari, a name he knew all too well. And he seemed to have a connection to Rei Ayanami, the quiet and detached First Child who piloted Evangelion Unit 00 before it was destroyed by Armisael, the sixteenth Angel... Even though his trust of her was replaced by a deep fear, a fear of what she is. He had lived in the same apartment with the Second Child, Asuka Langley Soryu, a vulgar girl from Germany who piloted Unit 02. But there were also emotions- Shinji's loneliness. He felt alone and neglected, loved by no one. His mother perished, his father cares not for him, Rei frightens him and Asuka dislikes his attitude. He seeks an answer to the question all man asks-why can't people understand one another? Why do I have to be hurt? Why can't people care for me, love me? Am I undeserving? Is this fate?
This truly was the first time someone else's emotions managed to shake Kaworu's heart. He felt close to Shinji, although he never spoke to him. Shinji felt like the one worthy human in the whole Lilim-infested Earth.
Kaworu didn't want to startle the child, but needed to make this presence known. So he begun to hum the only song he could hum-Ode to Joy.
Shinji turned his head and stared into the eyes of the one he didn't know, his foe and would-be hater, the Angel who loved him more than any man on Earth.
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Postby Legend of the Past » Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:35 pm

Chapter 02: Her last sync test

March 19th, 2015, Tokyo-3, NERV Headquarters in GeoFront, Hanger

"Hmph, where is that idiot Shinji?" Asuka cried out.

The Second Child stood in her red plugsuit, her back against the wall. In the background, two large mechanical heads glared at them. One of them, a purple plated face, had a pair of emerald eyes. The second was red plated with four green eyes. The two Evangelion glared at the three ladies. Asuka growled with anger, an act that betrayed her beauty. She had long red hair, raining on her neck and upper back. Her eyes were blue ovals, and her skin was clear and bright. To many, she was considered gorgeous, as girls like her were rare in Japan. Her body, though she was only fourteen, was curved and full in all the right places, and the skin-tight plugsuit only made it all the more obvious. But now, all her beauty was dispelled. She tried to act casually, but no one could miss the haunted look in her eyes, the primal rage in her voice. She was furious. She was useless. The 15th Angel turned her to nothing more than a rag-doll. A rag-doll to be thrashed about, ripped to pieces, hanged from the ceiling to be found by a little girl whose gaze turns from hopeful to shattered a single second.

"I don't know." Major Misato Katsuragi replied somberly. "He's probably out taking a walk."

If Asuka was attractive, Misato was stunning. Her body was robust, and there wasn't a man who met her without feeling attracted. She had long purple hair and brown eyes. She was rather tall and was dressed in her NERV uniform. She, too, appeared daunted. If you were to ask her what had happaned, Misato would sigh and reply that 'it was a bad few days'. The man she loved was killed. Shinji was hurt, even more than usual. And Rei... What they had seen, Shinji and she... It was hard to look at Rei now.
The blue-haird girl, Rei Ayanami, in her white-and-blue plugsuit seemed as detached and daunted as she ever did. Misato never knew why she had appeared so, what had made the girl so... well, unique, for lack of a better word. Now she did. Did Rei know, too? Or was it just an emotion, a feeling something's wrong? But for all her pity, Misato couldn't help but be frightened by the girl. Those red, leering eyes... That unnuatural blue shade of hair... That mouth that never smiled, voice that never laughed... What in heaven's name was Gendo Ikari thinking?

"That little dimwit can't just skip sync tests like that," Asuka grumbled a while later. "Now I've got to wait around here with Wonder Girl."

Rei, as always, didn't seem to notice the jab in her direction.
Misato wanted to tell Asuka that Shinji was missing for good reason. After seeing what was probably one of NERV's darkest secrets, the terrifying truth about Rei Ayanami, Misato was shocked, too. But this was probably too much for Shinji. Shinji needed some time off, and Misato agreed. Gendo might not, Asuka might not, but for this particular case she was willing to take responsibility.
But what was there to do? Asuka was right. She can't hold the girls here for long, but she wanted Shinji to think things through, contemplate what happaned, otherwise he'll never be able to realize how he feels towards Rei, and this will become another unresolved problem to add to his ever-growing pile.

"Listen, Major," Asuka said after another ten minutes. "You can go drag Shinji here, either you tell me and I drag him here, or you call this sync test off. I'm not gonna stay here all day."

Misato walked out of the hanger and into the command center. She saluted at Gendo, who had his gloved hands crossed above his mouth characteristically, and Fuyutsuki, who looked as bothered as he ever did.

"What is it, Major Katsuragi?" Gendo asked coldly.

"Commander Ikari," Misato said. "I have to request your permission to initiate the sync test without Pilot Ikari's presence."

"You expect Unit 01 to pilot itself?" Ikari asked dryly.

Misato had to keep herself from glaring at her superior. It was a bad joke. Unit 01 really could move on it's own.

"No, but Pilot Ikari is missing for the last hour and I really don't think we should just keep the girls here." Misato replied nervously.

"Why can't you just have someone look for him?" Ikari asked.

"That would take too long." Misato replied.

"You've sad that Pilots Ayanami and Soryu have been waiting here for the last hour." Gendo said, his glare becoming more lethal. "I'm certain that by now he'd of been at the very least found. You could of probably started the sync test by now."

Misato lowered her head. Yes, they might've started the test by now if she had someone search for him an hour ago. But she couldn't. Not when he was this disturbed. She wasn't sure how well he could pilot now, anyway.
Ikari sighed.

"Very well." He said. "Start the sync test without him. But warn him there'll be dire consequences if he makes an habit of this."

Misato saluted and left, mouthing 'he's your son, why don't you tell him?'.

--- --- ---

March 19th, 2015, Tokyo-3, Beach

Shinji looked at Kaworu curiously.

"The sea is beauitful at this time of day, is it not, Shinji?" Kaworu asked with a pleasent smile.

"Uh... yeah." Shinji mumbled, confused that the stranger knew his name. "W,who are you?"

"I am Kaworu." The grey-haird boy replied, "Kaworu Nagisa."

"Ah... well, I'm Shinji Ikari... Though you probably knew that already," Shinji noted carefully. "How did you know who I am?"

"I am the Fifth Child." Kaworu said. "I was sent here to replace a pilot who is mentally unstable and is uncapable of piloting her EVA."

Shinji nodded. He did remember hearing that if Asuka's sync ratio remians low they'll send someone to replace her... But wasn't Asuka's last sync test today?

"Hmm, Nagisa.." Shinji started.

"Feel free to call me Kaworu." The boy smiled even more pleasently.

"Okay.." Shinji nodded polietly. "Kaworu, I think you're here a bit too early. There's a last sync test for that pilot today, so you might have to leave."

"No matter." Kaworu shook his head. "The visit to Japan will do me well. One should always accept any oppritunity to see more of the world, as there is much to see and very little time to see it. I must ask, Shinji, what can you tell me about NERV?"

"Uh, well.." Shinji paused in thought. "I guess you should know about Asuka and Rei."

"The First and Second Child, correct?" Kaworu asked.

"Yes." Shinji nodded. "I guess you could say Rei is quiet and very reserved. She follows orders blindly and... well... she's a bit weird."

Kaworu could feel something in Shinji's mind. He had the feeling he wasn't telling him everything about Rei... but left it at that. This probably isn't something he doesn't know, anyway. For now, he must appear clueless.

"Weird?" Kaworu asked. "How?"

"Well.." Shinji paused, looking for the right words. "For starters, she lives in a very untidy, almost barren apartment. The place is filthy and is in a constant mess... Her sheets are full of filth and blood and it's not a pretty sight."

"I thought NERV provides Guardians for parentless pilots?" Kaworu inquired.

"Well, yes.." Shinji said. "My father is her Guardian, but he's always at NERV and she just lives there. I don't think she even has to pay the rent, because no one seems to own the place."

"This city does seem rather deserted." The Fifth Child remarked.

"Well, regardless." Shinji said. "The place looked like it was going to get demolished soon."

Kaworu nodded.

"And the Second Child?" He asked. "Asuka?"

"Uh, yeah." Shinji said, looking a bit embarrassed for getting off-track. "Well, Asuka's very... well, rude. Really hot-tempered. She hates it when things don't go her way, and always tries to be in the center of attention. And she can be very violent and vulgar... I try to avoid irritatating her, but my attitude always seems to make her mad."

Another person who injures your heart, Kaworu thought.
Shinji sighed, checked his watch and froze.

"Aw, damnit.." He moaned. "I'm late for the sync test!"

--- --- ---

March 19th, 2015, Tokyo-3, NERV Headquarters in GeoFront, Command Center

The door to the Command Center slid open and Shinji ran into the room, his hands on his bent knees, gasping for air.
Fuyutsuki turned his gaze towards the boy.

"He's here, Ikari." He told the commander.

"Welcome back, Pilot Ikari," Gendo said, without turning to face his son. "Where were you during the sync test today?"

"T,taking a walk." Shinji stuttered, trying to look at anything other than the back of the his father's leather seat.

"I see." Gendo said slowly. "I recommend you won't be talking any walks the next sync test, too. That would arouse problems, Pilot Ikari."

Shinji could sense the conversation was finished there. Gendo Ikari had nothing more to say to his son.

"Yes." Shinji replied meekly.

"If there is nothing else, please leave and report your return to Major Katsuragi." Gendo said.

"There is... something else." Shinji said.

Gendo was silent.

"I've met the Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa." Shinji said. "I've brought him here."

"I see." Gendo replied. "He should report to Major Katsuragi as well."

"Yes." Shinji repeated.

The boy stood silently for a moment, then left the Command Center.
Shinji walked down the corridor leading to the Command Center, crestfallen. He raised his head at Kaworu, who greeted him with a smile.

"Is anything the matter, Shinji?" The Fifth Child asked.

"No, Kaworu." Shinji said and tried to put on a happy face. "I'm alright."

"You looked very sad a moment ago." Kaworu said.

"I'm fine, really." Shinji said.

"Very well, then." Kaworu replied.

"Father asked me to take you to Major Katsuragi." Shinji said, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "She's probably around the shower rooms... So let's go."

"Yes." Kaworu nodded, and followed the brown haired boy.

--- --- ---

March 19th, 2015, Tokyo-3, NERV Headquarters in GeoFront, Shower rooms

Misato stood with her back against the wall in front of the shower rooms. The snc test was over, and she wanted to know how it went. She had grown of fond of Asuka, and knew that losing the right to pilot EVA would shatter the girl. She took such pride in her achievements as an EVA pilot, and losing this... She feared what Asuka might do. She feared the damage she'd cause around her, but most of all, the damage she may inflict upon herself.
Rei walked slowly by the Major, sticky with the orange liquid called LCL, with the stench of blood around her. Her short, blue hair was wet and messy, the plug suit dripping with the foul liquid. A moment later, Asuka slugged by, her hair sticky and her face sullen. The door to the shower closed silently behind her. Misato sighed. The poor girl seemed so dejected.
Misato stood back and waited for Ritsuko to come with the results. But she didn't come. Why should she? After what happaned in the lower levels of NERV... When she showed Misato and Shinji NERV's deepest secret, an underground chamber that contained a giant tube filled with LCL. And in the LCL floated many clones of Rei Ayanami. Their eyes, empty and unaware, laughing hollow, empty laughs. Giving the three sad looks. Confused looks. Ritsuko called them the core of the system that took control of the EVA in case the pilot, for whatever reason, does not comply with NERV's desires, the Dummy Plug System. Ritsuko called them Rei's spare parts, mindless dolls, lacking souls. Rei had a soul. The real Rei had a soul. They didn't. And then Ritsuko destroyed the clones. Why should she come? She feared Commander Ikari.
Misato was deep in thought. She didn't even notice Rei creep silently out of the shower room, dressed in her school uniform. It wasn't until Maya Ibuki, assistant to NERV's head scientist, Ritsuko Akagi, walked into the shower room that Misato left her train.

"Major Katsuragi," She called. "I have the test results."

Misato nodded and approached the young Lieutenant.

"Pilot Ayanami's Sync Ratio with Unit 01 was 42%." Maya said, handing Misato a sheet of paper. "It was a slight improvement over the last test."

"And Asuka?" Misato said.

Maya glanced at the Major carefully.

"No good." She said quietly, so her won't reach the girls in the showers. "6% sync ratio. The EVA wouldn't even budge."

Misato was silent.

"I guess that settles it." She said. "Asuka's going to get replaced."

It somehow felt very weird. Asuka's going to get replaced. It felt strange to think Asuka's not going to pilot EVA, and it also made Misato wonder if the girl would still be allowed to stay in Tokyo-3. Well, why shouldn't she? She had Misato as her guardian. But still..

"Major?" Maya asked.

"Uh, yes," Misato said, startled out of her thoughts. "I'd rather not have the results revealed to Asuka, yet."

"Yes, Major Katsuragi." Maya replied, "Should I write Shinji down as missing?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I hope this is the only time I'll have to put up with this."

--- --- ---

Asuka stood under the stream hot water for a long time. She felt disgusted. It wasn't just the repulsive scent of LCL, but something else. The moment she left the Entry Plug, which served as the EVA's cockpit, she felt she did terribly. She was almost completely certain she did horribly. When she synced with her EVA she always felt that extra feeling of presence, as if her body was much greater than it truly was, but still, she felt her body, just a tiny presence in the mechanical, that oversized doll. But she didn't feel it now. She couldn't feel big this time. She didn't feel powerful. She felt like a little girl who couldn't even move a toy's hands.
Eventually she couldn't send the sticky LCL and began cleaning her skin with the bar of soap that stood next to the shower. By the time she started applying shampoo to her fiery hair, the First had already left.

"Stupid Rei." Asuka muttered. "Stupid Shinji. Stupid EVA."

Asuka turned the faucet after thoroughly washing off the sticky substance and stood still for a moment. She looked down looked at her breasts, at her body. Her hands brushed her breasts slightly and she whispered hoarsely:

"You're gorgeous. You're smart. They'll be total morons if they don't let you pilot EVA."

She took a deep breath, and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed a towel from the rack and began drying her hair when she heard Misato's voice from outside the showers say:

"I guess that settles it. Asuka's getting replaced."

Asuka froze.

"Major?" Another voice asked, moments later.

"Uh, yes." Misato replied. "I'd rather not have the results revealed to Asuka, yet."

The towel slipped from Asuka's hands and fell on her hair, curtaining half of her face. Her breathing speeded up, she could feel her body heating up. Results? Do the results matter? They're too low, anyway. NERV's kicking her out, anyway. She won't be piloting EVA, anyway. She'll never be able to look at Wonder Girl and Idiot Shinji again, anyway, because they're better pilots than she is! No... No, they're not... They're not better. She's still the best. She'll always be the best NERV'll ever have. Always.

"I'm the best they'll ever have." She repeated.

This isn't her fault. She's not guilty. She's not guilty. Someone is, but not her. She doesn't know how. Maybe it was that fucking Angel that creeped into her mind and showered her with fear. Maybe that stupid Kaji, whom she loved so much but never so much as GLANCED at her. Maybe it was that brainless Rei, who followed orders like a loyal little puppy, because she was nothing more than a stupid doll. But Asuka wasn't guilty. She was perfect. She was the best. The best NERV'll ever find. She didn't know who's guilty. She didn't care. But something had to pay. Asuka picked up the basket with the dirty Plug Suits and threw it against the wall as strong as she could. It cracked open and the crumpled Plug Suits scattared on the floor. Asuka's breaths were short, painful jabs. The towel slid off her hair. She tore the towel rack off it's place, and smashed it against the floor. She struck again, and again, and again, splinters cutting her face. She slammed the rack against the floor until it was so short she couldn't smash it again. And then she turned her head to face a mirror stationed over one of the sinks.

"My god.." She mumbled when she saw the pure rage on her bleeding face.

She started shaking, pity boiling up her stomach. She wasn't the best. She was the worst. She couldn't even maintain her beauty. A tear trickled down the girl's face.Her hand shook with rage and quickly wiped away the tear, smearing her cheek with blood. Asuka fell on her knees, an haunted look in her eyes. She was losing herself. And she was afraid. She hadn't been this afraid since she was four and she ran into her mother's hospital room. She was so afraid. She was so very afraid.
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