The first three hours of my LSD session were experienced as a fantastic battle between the forced of Light and Darkness; it was a beautiful illustration of the passage from the ancient Persian Zend Avesta describing the fight between the armies of Ahura Mazda and Ahriman. It was fought on all conceivable levels -- in the cells and tissues of my body, on the surface of our planet throughout history, in cosmic space, and on a metaphysical, transcendental level. Occasionally, I had a rather convincing feeling that the battle I was witnessing and experiencing had something to do with the relationship between matter and spirit, in particular with the entrapment of spirit within matter.

After this battle was over, I found myself in a rather unusual state of mind; I felt a mixture of serenity and bliss with a naïve and primitive faith of the early Christians. It was a world where miracles were possible, acceptable, and understandable. I was preoccupied with the problems of time and space and the insoluble paradoxes of infinity and eternity that baffle our reason in the usual state of consciousness. I could not understand how I could have let myself be “brainwashed” into accepting the simple-minded concept of one-dimensional time and three-dimensional space as being mandatory and existing in objective reality. It appeared to me rather obvious that there are no limits in the realm of spirit and that time and space are arbitrary constructs of the mind. Any number of spaces with different orders of infinities could be deliberately created and experienced. A single second and eternity seemed to be freely interchangeable. I thought about higher mathematics and saw deep parallels between various mathematical concepts and altered states of consciousness.

In this situation, it suddenly occurred to me that I do not have to be bound by the limitations of time and space and can travel in the space-time continuum quite deliberately and without any restrictions. This feeling was so convincing and overwhelming that I wanted to test it by experiment. I decided to try travelling to the city of my birth, which was several thousand miles away. After visualizing the direction and distance, I set myself into motion and tried to fly through space to the place of destination. This effort resulted in an experience of flight through space at an enormous velocity, but to my disappointment, I wasn’t getting anywhere. I stopped this activity and reconsidered the situation; I could not understand that the experiment would not work in spite of my convincing feeling that such space travel was possible. Immediately, I realised that I was still under the influence of my old concepts of time and space. I continued thinking in terms of directions and distances and approached the task accordingly. All of a sudden in occurred to me that the proper approach would be to make myself believe that the place of the session was actually identical with the place of destination. When I approached the task in this way, I experienced peculiar and bizarre sensations. I found myself in a strange, rather congested place full of vacuum tubes, wires, resistors, and condensers. After a short period of confusion, I realised that I was trapped in a television set located in the corner of the room of the apartment in my native city where I has spent my childhood. I was trying, somehow, to use the speakers for hearing and the tube for seeing. Suddenly, I understood that this experience was a symbolic expression ridiculing the fact that I was still hung up on my previous beliefs concerning space and matter. The only way of transmitting images at long distances that was conceivable and acceptable for me was based on the use of electromagnetic waves, as in television broadcasting. Such as transmission, of course, is restricted by the velocity of the waves involved. At the moment when I realised and firmly believed that I could operate in the realm of free spirit and did not have to be restricted even by the velocity of light or other types of electromagnetic waves, the experience changed rapidly. I broke through the TV screen, and found myself walking in the apartment of my parents. I did not feel any drug effect a that point, and the experience was as sober and real as any other experience of my life. I walked to the window and looked at the clock on the street corner; it showed a five-hour difference from the time in the time zone where the experiment took place, I did not find it convincing evidence. I knew the time difference intellectually and my mind could have easily fabricated this experience.

I felt I needed much more convincing proof of whether or not what I was experiencing was “objectively real” in the usual sense. I finally decided to perform a test -- to take a picture from the wall and later check in correspondence with my parents if something unusual had happened at that time in their apartment. I reached for the picture, but before I was able to touch the frame, I was overcome by an increasingly unpleasant feeling that it was an extremely risky and dangerous undertaking. I suddenly felt the uncanny influence of evil forces and a touch of something like “black magic”; it seems as if I were gambling for my soul. I paused and started analysing what was happening. Images form the world’s casinos were flashing in front of my eyes -- Monte Carlo, the Venetian Lido, Las Vegas, Reno… I saw roulette balls spiralling at intoxicating speeds, the mechanical movements of slot machines, dice jolting on the green surface of the gambling tables during a game of craps, scenes of gambling involved in baccarat, and the flickering lights of the keno panels. This was followed by scenes of secret meetings of statesmen, politicians, army officials, and topnotch scientists. I realised that I had not yet overcome my egocentrism and could not resist the temptation of power. The possibility of transcending the limitations of time and space appeared to be intoxicating and dangerously seductive. If I could have control over time and space, an unlimited supply of money appeared to be guaranteed, together with everything that money can buy. All one had to do under those circumstance was to go to the nearest casino, stock market, or lottery office. No secrets would exist for somebody controlling time and space at will; he could eavesdrop on summit meetings of political leaders and have access to top-secret discoveries. This would open undreamed-of possibilities for controlling the course of events in the world.

I started understanding the dangers involved in my experiment. I remembered passages from different books warning against toying with these powers before the individual overcomes his ego limitations and reaches spiritual maturity. There was, however, something that appeared even more relevant to the outcome of my test. On one hand, it seemed extremely enticing to be able to liberate oneself from the slavery of time and space. On the other hand, it was obvious that something like this had far-reaching and serious consequences and could not be seen as an isolated experiment in the voluntary control of space. If I could get confirmation that it was possible to manipulate the physical environment as a distance of several thousand miles, my whole universe would collapse as a result of this one experiment, and I would find myself in a state of utter metaphysical confusion. The world as I ken it would not exist anymore; I would lose all the maps I relied on a felt comfortable with. I would not know who, where, and when I was and would be lost in a totally new, frightening universe, the laws of which would be alien and unfamiliar to me.

I could not bring myself to carry through the intended experiment and decided to leave the problem of objectivity and reality of the experience unresolved. This made it possible for me to toy with the idea that I had conquered time and space, while at the same time it allowed me, in case the whole thing became too frightening, to see the entire episode as one of many peculiar deceptions due to the intoxication of my brain by a powerful psychedelics drug : ) The moment I gave up the experiment, I found myself back in the room where the drug session took place.

I never forgave myself for having wasted such a unique and fantastic experiment. The memory of the metaphysical horror involved in this test makes me doubt, however, that I would be more courageous given a similar chance I the future.

I wanted to share this passage with you : )

And they ask people why drugs are bad...

Is this your own personal experiance?

I started understanding the dangers involved in my experiment. I remembered passages from different books warning against toying with these powers before the individual overcomes his ego limitations and reaches spiritual maturity. There was, however, something that appeared even more relevant to the outcome of my test. On one hand, it seemed extremely enticing to be able to liberate oneself from the slavery of time and space. On the other hand, it was obvious that something like this had far-reaching and serious consequences and could not be seen as an isolated experiment in the voluntary control of space. If I could get confirmation that it was possible to manipulate the physical environment as a distance of several thousand miles, my whole universe would collapse as a result of this one experiment, and I would find myself in a state of utter metaphysical confusion. The world as I ken it would not exist anymore; I would lose all the maps I relied on a felt comfortable with. I would not know who, where, and when I was and would be lost in a totally new, frightening universe, the laws of which would be alien and unfamiliar to me.

To hell with that, I'd have tampered with the laws of nature anyway, consequences be damned (And I say this with 100% sincerity!) :o

The sad thing is, I'm so damn jaded I just don't give a fuck.