Well, as I was betaing Legend's fic I was again hit with the itch to write a Evangelion piece. I've got a pretty big one in the works in my mind, but it's on the back burner till I finish my HP one. Yet, the itch would not go away, and I recently read Taking Sights by Lavanya Six and fell in love with Gendo.

This was the result. It's the first part of the first chapter of the fic I have in mind; maybe, ranging around 50,000 to 100,000 words. Well, without further adieu....scroll below.





At the end of the world there was a sea of blood while a demonic being, given the rite of godhood, held a pathetic man in its grip. A vengeful mother looked down upon him, controlling the god. The man confessed his weaknesses and admitted his failings to his son. In the end his son had more strength than he and for that: he was both ashamed and proud.

Before the beast’s gaping maul closed around his body the father pleaded for another chance; to right the wrongs of the past. A confused child, granted the power of god, heard his father’s confessions of love and did his best to fulfill the man’s desperate request. Both did not know the son could not adeptly wield the powers of god.


***


Tokyo-3: The Sins of the Father
Chapter One: Footsteps in the Sand


“Shinji,” Gendo began, “I have a use for you.” He was poised in a window, looking down upon his wayward son as their world fell apart above them. The earth trembled and the lights flickered. The Angel, Sachiel, was upon them. The only trained pilot available was Rei, but she was too badly injured to fight.

Shinji had always been the back-up if anything happened to Rei; a contingency plan. His personality lent itself too much to cowardice for him to be seen fit as a pilot, but now Gendo was out of options. Asuka was in Germany and too far away, but she would never synch with Unit 01; Yui was too picky.

Calling his son in an hour of need was his only option, and it was not even a viable one; the boy had not the training. The only way to win this fight was a berserker, to unleash the anger of a mother. He now only needed his sniveling child to willingly get into the Eva and up to the surface for man to survive another day.

“You will pilot the Eva and defeat the Angel above us.” His cold eyes narrowed upon his son, hoping his domineering tone would force the child to do as he was told. Yet, something about his son’s stance bothered him.

He had walked in calmly, his steps purposeful. Misato seemed vaguely uncomfortable in his presence, while Ritsuko was giving him a penetrating stare. How much had he changed in three years? It could not have been a substantial amount.

Then Shinji’s deep blue eyes looked upward and met his father’s own. One cold impassive stare meeting another and for an instance Gendo felt like he was looking into a mirror. “Why?” Shinji asked in a carefully modulated tone.

“Because there is no one else.” Gendo admitted dramatically.

“I see.”

“Will you pilot?” Gendo pressed after a moment.

“What will happen if I refuse?”

Gendo lowered his voice. “Man will cease to exist.” For a brief moment it felt like Shinji was testing him, purposely pushing his patience. “Will you pilot?” He demanded, his patience coming to an end.

Shinji looked to the giant beast but before he could answer the very building shook and pieces of machinery broke loose from high above. Gendo half expected the Eva to break loose from its restraints and protect the boy.

That did not happen, but Shinji quickly ducked out of the way. The entire metal bridge shook, causing the other two adults to stumble and the techs watching to shifts their stances.

Silence followed as Fuyutsuki radioed in to Gendo the Angel was able to blast through all the protective layers in a single strike. It was of no consequence, the Angel still had to make it to through Central Dogma; they had time.

“Shinji.” He called to the boy below, who was currently giving the Eva a weighted glance.

He turned his head towards Gendo. “I’ll pilot…father.” The word was said quietly, sounding foreign to his mouth, and his eyes held a dangerous glint directed at the older man.

“Good. Prep Eva Unit 01!” Gendo hollered to the men below. He would deal with his son’s odd behavior later, for now there was a beast to awaken and an enemy to vanquish.


***


Shinji felt the LCL fill the entry plug. He drew a breath and felt it enter his lungs; it made him feel sick. He adapted and waited; this was the moment of truth. Where a crazed man’s last desperate words were proven either futile or fruitful.

The lights spiraled through the tube and he felt light-headed. “Sync ratio beginning.” Came Maya’s voice over the comm.

Something crawled across the back of his brain and invaded his conscious, and with it came the feeling of growing in height and strength. “Something’s happening in the Darwal Range.” Came a concerned voice.

Shinji knew that term. He closed his eyes and waited for contact. It came as a brilliant light playing across his mind; he again felt Yui’s presence upon him and he smiled in contentment. This was the woman who had been happy with him, not the jaded mother who had gone through hell with her son. She did not know his crimes or his guilts…

His smile vanished as the light pulled from his mind a long and seemingly endless stream of memories. Each Angel flashed by his mind’s eye as he relived each painful experience. He witnessed Shinji being hurt again and again, not caring in the least. The lengths he went to obtain his ultimate goal, only to have it thrown back in his face by betrayal.

Where is Shinji? Came a lilting voice.

The boy was breathing hard, only now registering the screams and panicked voices over his comm. He flicked it off and concentrated. I don’t know, Yui. I only awoke a few days ago.

What happened to you?

He sighed. I ran away. I was no better than Shinji, save he faced himself in the end, leaving me a hollow man with a hollow dream. It ended in a war like you said it would. He paused. Why didn’t you tell me? His thought was filled with the pain of loss.

You would have stopped me. Came the simple reply, but it was leaden with loss.

Hers was for a son displaced by a lover, where his was the loss of a lover displaced for a son. They drew inward from each other, coping as best they could. It was almost too much for the man-come-child, but he had learned his lesson in another reality and time. He could not afford to run away from his feelings or from this woman. If the Angels were to be stopped he needed her cooperation. He needed her.

What now? He asked.

I never wanted instrumentality. I wanted a bright future for my son, free from the grips of my grandfather’s mad schemes. Why did you go against me?

To be with you. He closed his eyes as tears formed. He felt weak. Yet, he held onto the sadness, glorifying in it. Reveling in it, for he feared pushing it away. He feared what would happen. He needed to be open with her. He needed her.

How selfish.

The words cut him deeply, but he grasped them and held them high into the light, showing how he had changed, refusing to balk.

And now my son is gone. She waited and searched through his psyche. Nothing. You made my sacrifice meaningless.

And you didn’t do it just for your son. The scientist in you wanted man’s science to last forever. You got your wish, dear. The brutal words came out and he did not impede them. Pain worked both ways.

She quieted a moment. Honesty is hard for you, dear. The last word lacked any sense of endearment. But, you’re right. Will you stop my grandfather? She asked.

A wicked grin bloomed on Shinji’s youthful face. I have you, dear. The word came out cold and calculating. I can be a god and do your will…if you’ll allow me.

Her answer was a feather-light kiss upon his mind and the comm. coming back to life. “Borderline crossed! Sync-rate is at thirty-five percent.” The relief in Maya’s voice was evident, with a whisper of awe beneath it.

“Eva launch!” A more in-control Misato ordered.

None paid the smile on Shinji’s features any heed save the man with jaded glasses.


***


As I said this is only a part of it. I've got a few points mapped out in my head for this sucker, and I have LOTS of fun interactions in mind. Gonna be fun with Fuyutsuki and Ritsuki. But the best parts I hope will be the tension between the two Gendo's.

So I'm looking for feedback, critique, interest...should I continue this? At least let me know if you enjoyed it. hehe.

So am I reading this right, as Gendo being reincarnated as Shinji?

This is going to make his interactions with Rei even more awkward, I think...

What an intriguing idea. I'm liking this and I want more. And, of course, I'm liking how Kiel is presumably Yui's grandfather...

Tabasco wrote:So am I reading this right, as Gendo being reincarnated as Shinji?

Yep, you're reading it correctly. Shinji heard his father's last cry and tried to send him back to Gendo's body, but Shinji didn't know how to the use the power right, so sent his father's conscious back to Shinji's mind; effectively deleting his own past consciousness in the process. Never seen it done before, plus the interactions between Shinji/Gendo and Gendo are going to be good. Not to mention his relationship with Unit 01/Yui. I'm still working on the Ritsuko and Rei angles, tweaking them.

And since interest was shown, I'll go ahead and try to get the entire first chapter done.

Thx for the hits.

Sorry to double post...not sure if its allowed here or not.

I said I would have the rest of chapter one done and here it is for your reading perusal. Again...sorry for the double post.


***


Sachiel loomed among the buildings, its needle-thin arms fighting off the sudden swarm of missiles assaulting it, distracting it from Eva’s arrival. The giant royal colored mecha shot from the opening in the ground with the sound of klaxons. Within it, nestled in its bosom was Shinji Ikari. The comm. was on and transmitting Dr. Ritsuko Akagi’s voice.

“Remember what I said about an AT Field, Shinji, it is the only way to harm the angel. For now, though, I want you to concentrate on walking. Just imagine yourself doing it and the Eva will mimic. Okay?”

Her mothering voice was irritating to the teen, but he ignored the anger and concentrated. He took a shambling step before tripping over his own feet; he saw the ground rushing up to greet him. The giant robot hit the concrete, destroying an entire block with its weight.

“Try harder.” Her voice sounded strained as the Angel looked curiously his way.

Shinji groaned. This is harder than I thought it would be. Maybe, I should have given my son more credit. That did not matter now.

Slowly he fed the commands into the Eva from his mind, ordering it to rise as he would tell his own body. The feeling of disassociation between telling a body, but not his body, to move made him dizzy for a moment. The Eva obeyed his commands and he heard cheers from the comm.

Steeling himself he walked forward, slowly adjusting to the experience. “Good-job, Shinji!” He heard Misato call.

Her statement annoyed him, but he let it pass. She did not know how condescending she sounded to him. “I see the Angel, shall I attack?” He did not feel confident in his abilities at this time, but there was little choice.

“Not yet.” Came Misato’s reply. “I’m going to try something first. When I say I want you to tackle the Angel and use your progressive knife to attack its core.”

“Understood.” Shinji had to remind himself that the though woman possessed many quirks, she was a genius at strategy. It was a shame her
endearment to the pilots had handicapped her abilities last time.

The night sky lit-up brilliantly as a flare-missile struck the Angel’s AT Field. Shinji looked away and heard Ritsuko’s voice. “Use the light-dampeners so you can still see.”

Shinji looked through the panels in front of him before turning a small dial and concentrating. The Eva’s irises shifted, blocking most of the light. The Angel had no such adaptation and was flailing about the brightness, striking random buildings.

He heard chatter from the comm. It was Maya’s voice. “Magi predict ten seconds before the Angel adapts.” By then the light was fading and Shinji turned off the light-dampeners.

“Right,” Misato said. “Shinji deploy your AT Field and charge!”

Shinji gathered his wits and sent Unit 01 forward.

Having been there when the research of the AT Field had been discovered and refined he had the bare basics of what it was. It had been theorized that it existed as part of man’s conscious, just not detectable; yet, with an Eva the conscious that the pilot could actively feel was its AT Field. The separation of the soul within the Eva from the pilot allowed the pilot to access the AT Field without interruption.

He could feel it now, a lightness residing within the Eva’s mind, molded atop his conscious; a light existing out the corner of his eye. He reached out to it, forcibly bending it to his will.

“AT Field deployed…he’s canceling the Angel’s!” Huuyga crowed victoriously.

“Fire!” Misato ordered, having previously placed a laser-canon in place.

For the second time the sky was lit bright as beam of energy seared into the Angel’s flesh, leaving a smoking wound and a screaming being.

Unit 01 slammed into the Angel from behind and Shinji cried in exultation as he felt the power of the Eva coursing through his veins. This is what his son had been running from? This is what his son had been afraid of? The Angel squirmed in his grasp, but the metal hands of Eva strengthened and they forced the struggling Angel to its knees. With a flood of adrenaline racing through him, Shinji suddenly used the Eva’s head to bash the Angel’s. The bone-like mask cracked.

“Use your knife Shinji before it adapts!” Misato cried.

Coming back somewhat to himself, Shinji searched frantically for the button when he recalled they had designed it on the arm-grips. He pressed the button and the left pauldron opened, the knife emerging. Releasing the Angel with one hand he gripped the weapon and quickly slashed downward before the Angel could retaliate.

At that moment the Angel’s body bulged along the shoulders and arms, muscles coming to life to match the Eva’s might.

“The Angel has increased its adaption rate! Magi predict if the battle lasts longer than ten minutes it could adapt to anything Unit 01 does.” Shigeru’s voice was faint in the comm. Someone cussed, he could not tell who, Shinji was too focused on the enemy now meeting and exceeding his strength.

Slowly the Angel rose, pushing back the Eva. Shinji waited for it too rise before slashing again with his knife, cutting a long trench in the Eva’s body. It screamed but rushed forward, forcing Unit 01 back nearly a hundred feet. Shinji growled and muttered to himself, “Eva cannot be defeated.”

“What was that, Shinji?” Misato asked concerned.

He ignored her as he tapped further into the power that was Eva. Strength flooded the limbs and he took a slow step forward, forcing the Angel back. With speed enhanced by the Eva’s AT Field he quickly cut forward, severing the Angel’s left arm. Blue blood splashed to the ground below, bathing a local restaurant.

Recalling his days as a barroom brawler Shinji made quick work of the Angel, easily cutting the new made muscle in the shoulders. The Angel shrank back, flailing about in pain. Unit 01 rushed forward, the odd disassociation vanishing as Shinji got comfortable.

Chatter from the comm. filled the tube, disregarded by the youth. “Sync-rate approaching forty-seven percent.”

Shinji ducked and weaved as the Angel regained its footing and swung to attack, a beam of energy lancing out from its palm. The progressive knife’s edge met it and parried it away with ease. Seeing an opening Shinji rammed his fist into the Angel’s face, causing large chunks of it to fall earthward,

Suddenly a voice broke Shinji out of his fighting frenzy; it was his father’s voice, his voice. “Quit toying with the Angel and end this.”

Coming to his senses, fighting off the drunken feeling he had gotten
wielding the Eva, Shinji let his cold mind take control. He took two steps forward, kicked the uppedrpart of the Angel, and waited for it to lose balance and fall onto its back. He struck then, forcing the knife into its blood colored core. The Angel screamed, the sound piercing into Shinji’s mind. He ignored the insane images being birthed there and applied pressure.

The Angel’s core began to glow a bright color and he suddenly remembered how this had ended the last time.

With a massive explosion he was victorious.


***


The battle was over and victory celebrations were held throughout NERV, techs laughing in relief and calling out to their hero as he passed. There was no overshadowing sense of doom, but a feeling of accomplishment at the ease their untrained pilot had defeated the enemy. In him they placed their hopes and dreams of the future.

“Fools,” Shinji muttered as he entered the large room that held his belongings. They dreamed of a better tomorrow, only to have it taken it from them in the end.

To his surprise the Captain was waiting for him, a resigned look dominating her features. It did not bode well for him. “Captain.” He inclined his head as a sign of respect.

She sighed, obviously reluctant to proceed. She handed him a piece of paper with a familiar scrawl at the bottom. Shinji read skimmed it quickly, adjusting to not wearing glasses. He grunted and frowned. “My father does not trust me,” he said, his eyes went to meet hers.

“It’s not like that...” She began.

“Don’t sugar-coat it, please.” He sounded disgusted.

“Fine, you may be right, but I don’t know. AlI I know is orders are orders and you’re my new roommate.” Her voice had taken an edge, showing she was has pleased as him.

It was an obvious ploy on Gendo’s part. The captain was to observe him. He did not have to guess why, he was obviously not acting as his son would. It was something he refused to do, for it was an act he could not duplicate. “I see. Shall we be off then?”

The ride to her apartment was uneventful, save for the point where she tried to tell him how proud she was. She got no response and the conversation lulled.

His arrival to his new home was anticlimactic as he was shown around. He eyed the mess growing along the walls and the unmentionables hanging in the bathroom. He raised an eyebrow at the refrigerator filled with beer. “I…ah…just moved in not too long ago. I haven’t quite had a chance to clean up yet.”

“Then we’ll have to start soon then.” He deposited his suitcase in his room and noted a box of his things had been delivered.

When he returned to the kitchen to dine he came to a startling realization. Though his mind had been honed after decades of use, he still inhabited the body of a randy teenager. His ward was wearing very small shorts and a loose blouse that left little to the imagination. His breath hitched and there was a twitch from below his waist. He fought to remain composed.

She smiled, finally seeing a chink in his cold exterior. She stretched provocatively. “You like what you see, Shinji?”

It was difficult to not react, for a flush had consumed his face. “Isn’t a bit inappropriate to be posing for a child?”

She laughed, throaty and deep. “Naw, I’m just having a little fun with you. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share.”

He kept a smile from his face. I’ve done a lot as well, though I’ll not claim to have done it has often as you.

“It’s good to see you loosening up, for a moment I thought you were just like your father.” She laughed as Shinji went about fixing a modest dinner for himself.

“A cold hearted bastard?” He asked idly.

She giggled and stood, retrieving for herself a beer. “Yeah, one of them’s bad enough, I don’t think the world could handle two!”

He chuckled at her indirect joke, which she took to him relaxing more in her presence.

“Hey, you’re just fixing your own?”

“Yes, you’re adult aren’t you?”

She sniffed. “Some gentleman you turned out to be.” She crossed her arms and pouted.

He glanced her way. “I’m still not making your dinner.”

She laughed and Shinji found himself liking that sound. Full of life, opposite to the cynical laugh his last lover had possessed, before he had shot her.

The conversation lagged as the two worked around each other, her making a quick meal while he scavenged what he could to make something somewhat healthy. His skills were limited, but he did know the basics.

After the food, and beer, had been devoured she stopped him before he left to go to his room. “We need to divide up the chores, young man. Rock, paper, scissors.”

He gave her a secretive smile; it would almost be too easy.

He was wrong. She was by a far a harder opponent to predict than he had thought. They ended up dividing the chores evenly, much to her chagrin. “If you’ll excuse me.” He walked away, leaving her wondering.

Within his room he sat on his bed and his eyes saw not the blank wall before him. An SDAT player lay discarded in a nearby box, the music had not been appealing. In the dark he felt at ease and he pondered what to do. Yui wished him to stop Intrumentality. Was that his goal? What was his goal besides killing himself and Kiel. He did not know, for he knew the loneliness of living and the horror of Intrumentality.

To stop Kiel he needed to prevent the man from gaining too much power. He would have to be denied the Mass Production Models. That meant no Dummy Plug and no S2 Engine. He would have to completely destroy Shamshel and eliminate the Rei clones before the Dummy Plug system got too far along. Denied their models that would stand no chance against NERV. And if he managed to make Unit 01 a god, NERV would stand no chance against him.

But there were still variables. Unit 00 and Unit 02, along with their pilots. They could still stand in his way. He shook his head. Rei could be subverted once she could be again. Asuka would eventually be taken care of by an Angel. That left the only true unknowns being the Angels. Today proved things could go differently. He cast a look to the door, where behind it Misato was watching late night television. He could not fight the Angels alone; he would need help. Until they had been eliminated he would need Misato the other pilots.

With a heavy sigh he laid back on his bed and looked at the unfamiliar ceiling.




***


Well, there's the next two thousand words hammered out before the end of the night. Would have had them up earlier but was having dinner at a friend's house. hehe. It's been edited once so it's a little rough in some areas, but should be okay.

As before I'm looking for critique...only Eva is perfect...to become a better writer. And since this is my first Eva fic, though I am a fan, if anything feels off just let me know. Thx for reading.

This is a great concept and I really hope you give us more.

Just throwing something out of the blue here: How about for a later installment, he tries to inhibit his teenage hormones by breaking in to the infirmary somehow? You would totally expect him to pull something like that.

Hope you keep working on it.

Missed the update on this somehow.

I think it says a lot about Gendo's personality here that he mentions the lover he possessed, rather than some other verb. I'm looking forward to the next chapter as well.

Anyone there?

Yes, I'm still here just relaxing over the holidays. I guess a little explanation for the lack of updates is necassary. In my free time I write a lot. I mean somewhere between 4000-7000 words a week. Sometimes a little less depending on what's going on. Most of that goes into a pretty original HP story over on ffnet. It's my main focus for now. However, occasionally I'll do side stories.

I've got another HP one third the way done.

Just when I was getting geared up to go forward with this I got bogged down in RL by getting another job. I was still writing but getting burned out because I'd been doing that pace since last February. (Most of what I write doesn't see the light of day to be honest.) So I've decided to put the keyboard down for a spell on get my mind rested.

When I start typing again I'm going to post what I have, one more chapter for the HP one, then put it on hiatus and focus on this piece and my other HP story. So it's not abandoned....I was just rash in posting it. So for any body still reading or whatnot I'm sorry.

Thx for the comments and the support.

This is really excellent. Keep up the good work!

all i can say is this......
COOL BUT TOO LONG TO READ.....

Well, I said I would update and I have.

Below is the next installment and will flesh out the story a little more. I finally got a handle of what I want to do with Rei. Still working on the others. Without further ado...


Tokyo-3: Sins of the Father
Chapter 2: Divining the Future

The room was dark and sinister, with a strange glyph carved upon the hard ceramic floor. A red light glowed from the wide window, hallowing the man with jaded-glasses and innocent hands in blood. He sat behind a desk devoid of decoration. A small laptop lay open, the screen flickering white. He pressed a key and his son’s voice filled the air, garbled a little by static.

“Eva cannot be defeated.”

Across from Gendo Ikari sat his old professor Kozo Fuyutsuki. He frowned at the words. “It seems your son has a high opinion of your work.”

Gendo grunted at the joke.

Fuyutsuki continued. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be too worried about it. You gave your son mankind’s most potent weapon. Did not think it would be a little overwhelming for him?”

Gendo pressed a few more keys and watched the fight. The silence dragged as it played on his screen, his eyes carefully scrutinizing the screen. At its end he played the audio again.

“Eva cannot be defeated.”

Carefully, he shut the laptop. “My son has changed. I do not know him.”

Fuyutsuki leaned forward. “Did you ever?”

Gendo ignored the question. “In the fight he lost control of himself, choosing to inflict pain on the target. I had to bring him around. This…extreme he went to is counter to his personality.”

Fuyutsuki sighed and leaned back, now seeing the problem. “You’re not worried about how he piloted. You’re more concerned about how’s he changed. You can’t understand it.”

Gendo made a sharp glance to his companion and brought a hand to his temple as he sighed. “You’re right.” He glanced once more to the closed laptop and the video it held. “It’s been three years since I saw him last. He was eleven then.”

“Kids change a lot when they go through adolescence. I can see him…becoming colder.”

Gendo looked to him, a question in his eyes.

Fuyutsuki extrapolated. “You threw him aside three years ago, did you expect him to become a wreck?”

“Yes.” For what his son had been it was the obvious course his personality would take. He internalized everything and it weighed him down.

Fuyutsuki sighed, realizing with disdain how much he disliked his friend’s treatment of Yui’s progeny. “Have you checked with Section-2? What did they observe about Shinji?”

Gendo looked away. “They observed a child going through the motions. Polite and reserved, keeping mostly to himself.” He leaned back. “These were only personal opinions, though. And I think they were clouded by pity.”

Fuyutsuki held back a smile. It was no secret in NERV that Gendo had thrown his son aside to concentrate his faculties on the organization. He took a breath. “What did you think of him when he first entered? The major made a comment about him seeming distant.”

Gendo’s brow creased. “He seemed oddly in control of himself. He seemed to weigh me carefully, which is at odds with his performance in the Eva.”

“Do you want my thoughts about when he first entered?”

Gendo nodded.

“When I first saw him on the video I thought he acted a lot like you. That he was your son through and through.”

Gendo weighed the statement and frowned. He recalled getting the same impression and he realized with a start that was what he was worried about. His son turning out like him. “We’ll need to take precautions.”

“You already did.”

“The major will keep an eye on him, but we need fail-safes within the Eva.”

Fuyutsuki paled when a cold truth settled in his stomach. “You’re afraid of your own son aren’t you?”

Gendo gave him a cold glare. “I saw my son tear apart an Angel with a sadistic smile on his face. When I look at him I see myself. Wouldn’t you be afraid?”


***




Shinji sat bored in the class as an ancient man, bent with age, prattled on about third-impact. All around there were hushed whispers as the students conversed. Every now and then the class-rep would give a pair a fierce glance, silencing them temporarily.

A queue popped up onto Shinji’s laptop.

Are you the new pilot? Y/N?

He looked around and wondered who had sent it. A girl behind him waved. It would eventually be known anyway. He typed affirmatively.

What he was not expecting was the entire class instantly standing to their feet and crowding around him with a hundred questions. Dimly heard through the assaulting voices was the class-rep trying to rein in the students. Supremely irritated, he closed his school computer, rose and forcibly made his way from the classroom. He had no patience for the stupid antics of children.

A shocked silence followed in his wake.

He exited the building and found himself a secluded area where he could work in silence beneath a tree. From his bag he pulled a laptop out and placed his finger on the identifier. It opened with a hiss and turned on. Upon the screen were a series and numbers and symbols. Shinji did the algorithm in his mind and typed in the answer. The screen shifted allowing him normal access.

He knew he was safe from anyone accessing his information, because that particular algorithm had not been solved until the end of the Angel War. If his memory served him well, he knew that a similar such computer sat in his old office, though it had no need for a password.

As the hours passed he transferred more on his memories onto the laptop, setting in stone dates and times as he could recall them. Sometimes his memory failed him and he was forced to type in a range of days. He was mostly recording the scenario the old men and he had worked out, he knew it by heart, and adjusting the dates where he knew they were wrong.

When voices filled the air he looked up and saw it was time for lunch and the students were making their way outside to eat in the sunshine. For a moment it looked liked the girl from earlier was making her way over to him. His glare changed that. Distracted a shadow fell over him. He quickly snapped the laptop shut.

He went to look who it was, but an arm grabbed his collar and hauled him to his feet. His surprised expression was met by a fist. Shinji’s head was knocked backward, his body fall over the tree behind him.

“That was for my sister!” Declared the tall teen, wearing a jock outfit. “You’re stupid fight almost killed her.”

Touji Suzahara. The Fourth Child. Shinji rubbed his bloody nose and smiled. He know recalled why he had chosen him to pilot; his aggression.

“You think it’s funny?” He asked outraged. He bent forward and hauled Shinji back up.

“Hey Touji, once was enough man.” His friend Kensuke said behind him.

Touji glanced back, glaring, but the voice of reason softened his features.

He was not expecting to get struck in the gut. With the wind knocked out of him he released Shinji and gasped for breath. Touji looked up in time to see another fist strike him across the jaw, breaking it. Shinji shook his hand in pain, he had forgotten how much that could hurt.

“You…you…” Touji tried to speak.

Shinji gave him harsh shove and he crumpled to the ground.

Kensuke’s shock was broken by the klaxon deafening the area. What Shinji had been waiting for was here. Shamshel. With cold eyes he regarded Kensuke. “He might need help getting to the shelters.” He gathered his computer and stored it in his bag. “And remind your friend that it’ll be me saving his life today.”

He turned and ran. By chance he saw a figure dashing ahead of him. “Rei!” He called, still trying to adjust to his voice. Speaking in normal tones he was used to, but when he spoke loudly it was too high pitched.

Rei slowed her pace and allowed him to catch-up. “You are going to pilot.” She turned to face him, her pale, cerulean hair and bloody eye catching his attention.

He frowned, not having realized the first time through Rei had been jealous of Shinji. “Yes, I am.”

“I see.” Was her quiet response.

Together they ran in silence until reaching one of the city’s transport trains. Quickly they swiped their cards, giving them access. Rei went to the panel on the side of the train and typed in a series of commands, redirecting the train and giving it access to Central Dogma.

Within minutes they were away, the city flashing by in the windows.

The two children sat down on opposite seats, facing one another. With a passive glance she regarded him.

“You don’t like me.” He stated.

She blinked a few times as he waited. Rei never was very good with emotions. “I am unsure.” She quirked her head to the side. “Does it matter?”

He smiled. “I suppose not. We are both Eva pilots and nothing more. But doesn’t it make sense for us to get along if we are going to fight side by side?”

“That is not guaranteed.”

He was taken aback. “How is it not guaranteed?”

“You could die today.” With that she shifted her gaze to the windows, ignoring him.

Shinji leaned back and brought a hand to his chin, considering. Suddenly, the train was momentarily shrouded in darkness. It was again brightened as the train entered the Geofront. Not to be deterred Shinji tried another angle. “Why are you jealous of me? Is it because you think it should be you risking your life? Do you hold so little value in yourself?”

She glanced at him sharply and he refrained from smiling. I’ve got you now.. She frowned and he saw the warring emotions in her ruby eye, the other covered by a bandage. “I am not…jealous of you.” She said at last.

“Then why did you ask if I were going to pilot? It seemed to me you had wanted to pilot and asked me hoping I wouldn’t.”

Her brow creased in confusion and her eyes sought her lap.

“I’m right aren’t I?”

“I…do not know.” She said faintly.

“What about my other question? Do you hold so little value in yourself?” The train was approaching the unloading station.

She knew the answer to this question, and he knew she knew it. “I can be replaced.”

He gave her a wry grin as their eyes met. “So that makes you less unique? What if you weren’t replaceable?” He knew he was skating on dangerous territory here, revealing a hint of his plans, but he knew that NERV did not have the public access system bugged.

Her expression became unsettled. “That will not happen. I have faith in the Commander’s work.”

The train came to a stop, preventing any further discussion.

Without any adieu both exited the train and made their way into the base.

Within twenty minutes both were garbed in plugsuits and arriving at the cages where was housed Unit 01. Shinji glanced to Rei and saw her arm still wrapped in bandages. It must have been quite painful for her to put on the suit.

Misato’s voice blared over the speakers. “Shinji, let’s go. The Angel is now entering Tokyo-3 air space.”

He was already making his way towards his waiting chariot. Shinji quickly entered and let the LCL crowd his lungs, by now used to the feeling. He and Ritsuko went through the checklist as the lights played across his vision. Quickly the Eva was moved to launch tube 13 as Shinji felt the power of Eva once more at his finger tips.

Maya’s voice echoed over the comm. “There’s some static in the Darwal Range again.”

Shinji smiled as he felt Yui’s familiar presence enter his mind. Hello, dear..

Gendo. Was her polite reply.

This Angel, in the past, has caused Unit 01 to lose power. Can I count on you if it happens again?

You can.

He smiled and took a deep breath as he was launched to the surface, the extreme force barely dampened by the LCL.


If his own plans were to see fruition he would need to utterly destroy this Angel’s core. Seele must not obtain a working S2 engine.

Sunlight enveloped his vision as he reached the surface. Misato’s commands directed him to a nearby locker, where he grabbed an AP77-Louset. “Keep hidden, I’m going to draw its attention. Then nail it. Try to disable its arms and watch out for surprises. We’re not sure what that sucker is capable of.”

“Roger.” He confirmed, carefully making his way to behind the Angel. He felt an itch to rush in and use the Eva’s terrible power against the Angel. His prior knowledge almost guaranteed him victory, but he tried to keep his cool. He did not need to once more get drunk off the power he wielded.

A battery of rockets suddenly struck the being’s AT field, drawing its attention to the north. Instantly, Shinji deployed his AT field and opened up with his weapon, aiming first for the left appendage then the right. In a matter of seconds both had been blown away, and he smiled. No energy whips this time.

The Angel turned and loomed, its red core glowing a malicious light.

“Shinji, aim for the core!”

He followed orders and opened up but the large bullets had little effect on the stout core. He cursed under his breath. “I’m going to melee range.” He growled, moving his Eva forward.

“Careful.” Misato cautioned. “It’s not shown any offensive capabilities yet.”

Eva approached carefully and the Angel waited, moving slightly back. Then Shinji rushed forward, his progressive knife being drawn from his left pauldron. It hummed in his hand as it came to life.

The Angel swayed back, its cumbersome body not meant for quick action. Eva 01 slashed with the knife, hoping to cut the core in half. What it did not expect was two energy beams coming to life out of the ruins of the Angel’s appendages. The hot beams swiftly wrapped around the Eva’s purple arm, instantly burning the layers of armor away. Using the giant robot’s momentum against it, the Angel flung Shinji clear across the city, easily demolishing a dozen buildings along the way.

Shinji groaned as he shook the stars from his eyes. Misato’s frantic voice found his ears. “Answer me, damn it!”

“I’m fine.” He grunted as he shifted the Eva into a sitting position. He stared down at his charred arm and became faint as the pain registered.

“Hang in there Shinji.”

He focused past it and heard Maya’s distant voice. “Synch ratio stabilizing at forty percent.”

“What’s the length of those beams?” he asked.

The Angel slowly made its way toward his position, the beams held close to the Angel’s body.

“Magi estimate around a thousand feet. But I think they can go longer than that,” Misato said with dread. “Make your way to locker-4B and pull out the Mako D-laser. I think melee isn’t an option at this point.”

Without responding Shinji made the Eva move, quickly making his way towards the east end of the city. He arrived at the locker as it opened and retrieved said weapon. He checked the charge and it showed he had enough for seven shots.

“Shinji—“

Pain shot up from his ankle and he glanced down in time to see an energy beam wrapped around his leg. He grit his teeth as he was yanked off his feet. He sailed through the air towards the Angel. It was hoping to pull him near then fling him even farther.

It looked like the energy whip’s length was closer to a mile. Thinking quickly, he twisted in mid-air, throwing the Angel’s aim askew. Luck was with him as it changed his trajectory right into the Angel’s path. He flailed with his free leg and kicked the being as he neared, hoping to throw it off balance. He succeeded for a moment.

Until the other energy whip wrapped around his waist and sent him once more flying through the air. He landed on a hill with a sudden jarring impact. The entry-plug suddenly went red as the countdown timer began. He cursed. His umbilical cord had been snapped by the distance. He rose and reclaimed his weapon, glad it had landed near him. “Shinji, head to the western exit. We’re getting another cord ready for you.”


He was already on his way, leery now of the Angel and its long range. Within a minute he had power again. He turned and aimed his rifle, bracing it against his shoulder. He waited for the Angel to come into his sights. He did not wait long as it exited the cover of the city and advanced on him. He took aim and fired. The kick was not as bad as he feared thus his aim was true. A direct hit on the Angel’s glowing core.

The Angel jerked in pain and its energy whips faltered for a moment.

Shinji took that opportunity to ready the gun for another round, but he would not get that chance. The energy beams shot forward at incredible speeds, already curled at the ends where they were going to take hold of him. “Shinji, jump forward!” Misato suddenly called.

He was not sure if this was what she had in mind, but her words inspired him. He leaned back and launched the Eva forward with all his might, sailing away from the hill as the beams wrapped around his body. He ignored the pain and focused, bringing the gun around; for a wild idea and entered his mind. The beams tried to slow him, but his momentum overpowered them.

He sailed through the sky and nailed the Angel head on, barreling it over onto the ground. The area shook with the impact and the whips tightened around his body, searing away the armor and burning flesh. Shinji could feel the burns develop on his chest, but he did not care. His mind was focused on destroying this Angel. With powerful hands he turned the Angel over. The red core, cracked from the strike earlier, seemed to glare at him.

He brought the laser to bear. The whips tightened further and began to lift him off the Angel. He shoved the barrel of the laser into the Angel’s core and pressed the trigger. A bright light shadowed both beings for a second and the whips fizzled but came back to life and stabbed the Eva’s chest, searching for the entry-plug. Shinji screamed in pain but fired again at the cracked core. Another light flashed, blinding him momentarily.

The whips stopped moving.

Shinji fired again and the core shattered.

The whips disappeared and Shinji fired the gun again and again and again, until nothing remained of the core. Panting heavily he lowered the gun and the Eva fell back into a sitting position. Shinji gave a tremendous sigh and leaned back in his cockpit. “Target destroyed,” he said with a tired voice. “Any blue patterns?”

“Negative.”

A video screen appeared on his readout with Misato filling it. “Good-job, Shinji. Good job.” She beamed a smile his way and gave him a thumbs up.

He returned the gesture, too tired and numb to care how stupid it made him look. His thoughts wondered to the first time this battle had occurred. How his frightened son had fled then maniacally rushed forward, barely defeating the enemy. He was slowly beginning to appreciate his dead son’s actions. Piloting Eva and fighting the Angels was no easy task. He absently rubbed the blisters on his chest.

The comm squawked and a cold voice intruded on the pilot’s moment of solace. “You did a good job out there, Shinji. I’m proud of you.”

Shinji’s eyes narrowed. What are you up to? “Thank-you father.” His own response was just as cold. “Unit 01 now returning to base.”


***



Alone she lay on the bed, unsettling thoughts whirling through her mind. Above, the ceiling was drab and familiar, the moon’s light playing across it. Her eyes slowly blinked as she contemplated the words of an unknown boy. A boy that shared Ikari’s eyes, blood, and composure.

“Am I jealous?” She asked herself softly, the foreign emotion winding its way through her. “Yes.” She frowned. It was she that was supposed to pilot Eva and risk her life against the Angels. That was her purpose in life for now. And if this body survived the War, she would be used to instigate third impact. That was what she had been made for.

“Do I hold so little value in myself?” She paused and carefully weighed the question in her mind. “Yes, because I can be replaced.” Below, shrouded in Terminal Dogma were a hundred beings just like her.

“So that makes me less unique?” This question was hard for her to face, because it hinted at her own experiences being different than those that may come after. She barely recalled her prior incarnation and knew the one to replace her would not remember everything. Did that make this existence unique? “It does not matter.” She told herself. “I can be replaced.” Yet, her voice shook as she spoke. She frowned, but moved on.

“What if I weren’t replaceable?” She asked herself. “Then I could die.” This thought made her content. “I could return to nothingness.” The finale that the Commander had promised, after she fulfilled her duty, was to return to the void, casting aside this lonely and sad existence. If she were not replaceable then she was no longer bound to the Commander’s will and could be at liberty to choose her own path to destruction. She could return to nothingness by her own will.

She felt a pang in her heart, for if she chose this path she would lose what she had built with the Commander. She sighed. Their relationship, however, was only a one way street. She had become close to him but he had not become close to her.

She had answered Shinji’s questions and accepted the answers, and as the turmoil in her mind settled she was left with a little piece of hope. That maybe the Commander’s works would fail and that she would become irreplaceable, thus freeing her from her bonds. Freeing her from her bond with mankind and her bond with the Commander. Allowing her the freedom of death. A wistful smile bloomed on her pale face as she drifted off into sleep, where nothing but emptiness awaited her.

Across town a young teen with the mind of a grown man was leaning against the banister on the patio and smiling. He had planted the seeds in Ayanami’s mind earlier and now they would be sprouting. He knew that she reflected upon herself by moonlight and knew where those questions would lead her. Now all he had to do was give her a reason to live and her loyalty to him would be cemented. He just had to make sure that he gave her that reason before destroying the Rei clones.

Only, after Kaji entered the picture; he would need someone to blame for the act. The double spy had provided too much information of NERV’s inner workings to the old men. That was something Shinji would not allow to happen again.

“Hey! You gonna stand outside all night?” Misato called from inside.

He chuckled. “I’m only divining the future.”

“Huh?”

He gave a final look to the moon before reentering the apartment. “I said, ‘I’m only divining the future.’”

She gave him a quizzical look. “By staring at the moon?”

He smiled enigmatically. “Many people hold the moon in reverence and it affects how they think. And its people’s thoughts that decide the future.”

“Meh, whatever.” She went back to watching television. “I hope you were able to predict you taking the trash out tomorrow. It’s your turn.”

He did not bother responding, only made his way to his room where he laid down to sleep. He put on in his nightly clothing, aware of the bandages covering the burns on his arms, legs, and chest. For a moment he thought he resembled Rei in physical injury. He laughed the thought away and climbed into bed, careful of his sore nose. It had been a long day. Without too much delay he was asleep and dreaming about the end of the world.

A/N:: Well there you have it! Comments?

The differences alone are kind of scary. I'm looking forward to seeing Asuka getting into the cast. And if Eva-04 won't be blowing up (if I'm right that Gendo succeeded in blowing up the core), then that could radically shake up the events of Eva-03 and Eva-04 (and thus, Zeruel) in ways Gendo's not predicting.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm guessing we're either going to a random filler chapter, Ramiel, or perhaps the Episode 4 of Proposal. Any would be pretty cool.

Please write more soon!

I'm looking forward to what Asuka makes of the new and 'improved' Shinji too.

I think Gendo's predicting exactly that as far as Eva-03 and 04 go. Its unclear whether 03 will still get infected en route, but I can't imagine him refusing to fight the way Shinji did. That alone means there should be multiple Evas available to oppose Zeruel, and a lot more even fight.

Brilliant as always. Kind of has a "Taking Sights" feel to it, now that I've read more. I do say, I like these alternate timeline stories, and these ones Gendo-centric are rather enjoyable, in a cynical sort of way.

Thx for all the replys guys, it's heartening. To be honest I was kind of winging this in terms of plot. Until today. I have the ending mapped out and from here it's going to be clear sailing!

And the interaction between Shinji and Touji...yeah, that's just the beginning. I'll let you interpret that as you will.

Thx again for the encouragement. Also, go check out Legendary's fic, it's awesome...though I'm sure here is already reading it.

Sins of the Father
Chapter 3: Living Hurts

It was a tight fit for the young man, but his body was much more flexible than it had been in another time. Held close under his arm was a labtop snapped close. Ahead there would be an access terminal that would not keep a log of everyone that used it. There were only three such locations in the underbelly of NERV like it, holdovers for when they were still building. His intimate knowledge of the access tunnels did not come from some notion of a spy or such nonsense. Any of the early personnel would know about them, having used them many times as power to the doors was always a gamble in those early days.

He grunted as he managed to put himself into a sitting position. He pulled out the USB-6 connector and hooked his computer to the terminal. He opened his laptop, solved the algorithm, and was soon accessing the Magi. He put in the appropriate passwords, it took a few tries as he remembered the ones he had used during this time. He checked the status of the side projects going on in Terminal Dogma, especially with the Dummi Plug. He frowned as he scanned Dr. Akagi’s latest report. They had achieved sentient thought. He may have to act sooner if she manages to get the emotional-range controlled.

He toyed with the idea of placing a few viruses to side-track her, but knew she would delegate the task to Maya. To stall her he would need to do something to the Evas. He put that plan on hold; it may be too drastic.

He next accessed when the reactivation of Unit 00 was scheduled. He was thus far uncertain what to do about the part of Rei’s soul trapped within Unit 00. He was unsure whether he wanted her to have that power. It was something he would need to think further on.

They were going to try for reactivation in three days. The moment that Ramiel would appear. He cringed at that battle to come, not truly wanting to be harmed the way his son had been.

He paused. What if they rescheduled the test two days sooner? For tomorrow? His forehead crinkled in thought. Quickly, his fingers played across the board inserting a line of commands directly into the Magi using one of Dr. Akagi’s backdoors. After three minutes of quick typing a glitch would reschedule the test. If he had been careful with the worm then they would not suspect anything.

Next on his agenda lay in the armory. Using the same backdoor he changed the security cameras in the region, setting a worm to delete the footage and copy it from another time. He glanced down at his watch and mentally calculated how much time he would need to get in there and get out. He set it to an hour from now. Done with his meddling he quickly shut his laptop, pulled the connector, and was on his way.

He avoided the hallways that he remembered had survellience until he came as close as he could to the armory. He checked his watch and waited. Ten minutes later he moved forward, glancing warily around for anybody. Seeing no one, he quickly pulled from his wallet a magnetic card that had Gendo’s authorization clearance on it. Obtaining it had been a tedious process but had become a necessity.

The door opened and he entered, going to the back where the small arms were kept. The assault rifles were bolted in place with chains, but they were too obvious for his needs. He stopped in front of a small locker and frowned. There was a small combination lock preventing him access. He checked the locker next to it and had the same results. He glanced around, searching.

There on the wall was something heavy and blunt. He walked over and picked up the box of ammunition, grunting at the weight. In short order he had used the weight on both locks. He quickly put the ammunition back and gathered the locks. In a corner he waited for someone to come investigate the noise. No one entered.

Satisfied, he placed the locks in his pocket. Better for someone to see an unsecured locker than two broken locks. He retrieved from the locker a .9 mm Bursa. It took him one more minute to find a shoulder strap for it. He checked his watch, his time was almost up. He went back to the ammunition box and took from it three clips; in all practicality he would not need any more than that. He had no plans to use the gun, it was solely there for emergencies, like when his past-self might decide to liquidate his own son.

With his business finished; and hopefully, his tracks erased he left.

Within the hour he was home, not bothering to alert his roommate to his arrival. At times she could be irritating with her position as guardian. At the start he had wanted more of an equality between them, fostered by his maturity. What had defeated this plan was her own immaturity. “Shinji!” She sang his name from the kitchen.

He sighed. “Yes, Misato?”

“I thought that was you!” She chirped happily. “No one else comes in without saying something but you.” She did not sound annoyed when speaking. “It’s almost as if you don’t like me.”

His face became impassive as he entered the living room. She was not there. He entered the kitchen and arched a brow. Misato was currently cooking a large mess. While some substance sat ready at the table. Her face was covered with a variety of spices and her hair was in a bun with wisps escaping from it. “I just got it out of the oven.”

“How did you know I would be home?”

She snickered. “I told section-2 to inform me when you were on your way home.”

Yet, another reminder that he should not underestimate this woman. “Clever. I suppose you want me to eat that?” He gestured to the bowl.

“Yep.”

“No.” He turned and walked away, not bothering to see her reaction. I don’t have time for silly gestures from someone who thinks I’m her last chance at redeeming herself as a woman by becoming a decent mother.

He sat in the silence of his room, staring at his wall as plans worked in his mind. Like ripples he was trying to anticipate how his other would react to the change he was making to the timeline. His absolute knowledge of how others acted had ended the moment he interacted with them. The only thing he knew for certain was when the Angels would attack and how they would attack. His thoughts strayed to Rei and his earlier attempts to talk with her. It had not gone well at school. He had opted to join her for lunch, but she had left excusing herself without comment.

So he was able to place doubt and hope in her heart with one conversation, but he had been unable to make a connection with her. It was vital she be given a reason to live before the clones were destroyed or she would kill herself, taking with her Gendo’s ace and making the man’s plans unknown. He had to be that reason that she chose life if he were to use her against NERV.

His thoughts wondered to Touji. The taller boy had expressed his anger at Shinji, but was smart enough not to get physical. Shinji had tried to ignore him, but that only seemed to make him madder.

The next interaction to play in his mind was how he had treated Misato upon arriving. With contempt. He sighed and fell back on his sleeping pad, rubbing his eyes gently as something became very obvious to him. He had no idea how to make friends. To add to that revelation was him falling into old habits; retreating into himself for fear of others hurting him. Had he not learned that lesson with Intrumentality?

He glanced around his room and saw the shadows and the dark, reminiscent of his old office. The office where he had plotted the end of the world. Was that to be his fate? To lurk in the shadows constantly planning? Was he going to waste his new chance at life by becoming a hermit?

Yet, he was at a loss to making friends. Hate was an instrument he was much more adept at wielding. He had loved Yui once, but how she had come to love him in return was a mystery. That was something he would talk to her about next time he was in Unit 01, for it was not something neither had discussed before her test. They never talked about themselves back then, to wrapped up in their own projects.

Shinji took a breath and stood up. He was not some nervous teenager unsure how to approach someone. He was an adult. Though, he was afraid of getting hurt. He took another breath and exited his room, bracing himself.

The best way to become someone’s friend was to be nice to them. Entering the kitchen he found Misato sitting with her back to him. Arrayed around her were three empty cans, while a large mass lay in the sink from where she had dumped the dinner.

“Stupid little fucker.” She muttered in a low breath. “It took me hours to get that shit made and that cold hearted bastard…” She stopped as she took a swig of her beer.

Shinji’s back stiffened at the insults, but he grit his teeth. He took a step forward. “I’m sorry.” He said.

She shot out of her chair like a rocket.

He calmly took a step back as she whirled on him. “Don’t fucking sneak up on me!” She hollered. Her breath smelled like cheap beer.

He blinked slowly, refusing to respond until she gathered her wits.

“Fuck.” She exclaimed running a hand through her head. “Sorry for what?” She asked irritated.

Keeping his anger in check, she did just yell at him, he calmly answered. “I’m sorry for…” ruining your dinner? Scaring you? The problem is I’m not sorry and lying to her will only trap me in my own walls again. With an impassive face he walked around her and sat down in the chair. “May we talk?”

She blew out a sharp breath through her nose. “About what?” She said taking a seat.

“About my behavior.” He drew a breath. I must put myself out there and hope she will understand. Honesty is what I must have, at least in my personal dealings with her. When it comes to my plans, she will know nothing. As he thought it he knew it was a fine line he would be walking, but he could not afford to become again what had caused his downfall in the first place. Isolating himself from people is what had driven him to obsession of trying to return Yui to him. Drove him to try and kill every human being on the planet.

She snorted. “I think maybe your behavior could use some work.” She took a long swallow of beer.

He looked to the cans and then to her. “I don’t think your one to lecture me on how to behave.”

Her eye ticked and she put the beer down. “Cut the crap kid. You want to talk, talk. You want to take shots at me I’d rather be somewhere else.”

He calmed himself and looked away. “I’m not good at this.”

“Good at what? Being a human being?”

His eyes blazed and his tongue once more got the better of him. “Dealing with children.”

She rolled her eyes. “For heaven’s sake, you’re just a child!”

Shinji clenched his fist and counted back from five. “We are getting off topic. I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry for being rude earlier.”

The statement gave Misato pause. “That’s what you were apologizing for?”

“Yes, but the problem is I’m not sorry for it.”

“What? So you lied about being sorry? Then why are we even talking about it?” She reached for her beer but hesitated. She sighed and left the drink alone.

“I am not sorry for what I did, but I am sorry for how my actions affected you. I didn’t intend to demean your efforts for me. I realize you put a lot of effort into being nice for me and I that I spit on that effort.” He felt like he was ranting so drew a breath and corralled his thoughts. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I did not mean to and I’d like to make it up to you, if I can.”

Her face was unreadable and the silence strained him. He forced his body to stay calm, realizing now how hard this was for him.

“I was wrong. You are just like your father.”

He gave her a wry smile. “The similarities would surprise you. Save I’m trying to be better than him. I’m trying—“ His voice stalled as he found it difficult to complete the sentence. He had not felt like this since grade school. He looked at his sweaty hands and wondered if his behavior was amplified by this body’s hormones. He knew they had affected him already when in Misato’s presence.

Her face softened and she gave him a soft smile. “I think I get what you’re trying to do and say, Shinji. You’re not sorry for being ass hole, but you are for how it made me feel?”

He sighed, relieved she had accepted his words. “Yes, that would be a good way of putting it. We’ve gotten along in the past—“

She snorted. “No, we’ve traded jokes and lived around one another. That’s it.”

He nodded, now understanding her intent with the dinner. “So you were trying to bridge the gap between us? Like I’m doing now?”

“Yep. And it seems we’re both just a little sensitive, eh?”

He chuckled. “Since we’re getting along now does this mean I can drink beer?”

She was on the verge of relenting, but decided against it. “No. As your guardian it is my duty to make sure you don’t repeat any of my mistakes.”

Does that include fucking a double agent and letting your love for the pilots blind you? He thought cynically; but there was little conviction behind it. On a deeper level it felt good to have an easy rapport with someone, lightening his mood somewhat.

“So you say you’re trying to be less like your dad?”

“Yes.”

“Then what you need to do is learn to lighten up. What do you do for fun?”

I play god from an office and try to outmaneuver the most powerful men in the world while simultaneously heading a huge agency that was bent on defeating an unknown enemy. “I play chess.”

She wrinkled her nose at that prospect. “No.”

He thought back to his days before his time as Commander and his evenings spent with a brilliant geneticist. Dancing and poetry readings. He did not think she would go for those ideas. The problem lay in their opposing personalities. She was energetic and loud while he enjoyed a more subdued entertainment. He paused and realized there was one thing they both were good at. Strategy. “Have you ever played Strategia?”

She shook her head. “No, what it is?”

He smiled. “Something I think we could both enjoy.”

“Great! But first I have a mess to clean up and then there’s still the problem with dinner.”

He looked at the mess and frowned, but he got out of his chair. “Then we better get started.”

She gave him a grateful look. “I’ll get started while you figure out what you want for take-out. Then we’ll go pick it up—“

“Why not send a section-2 agent to pick it up for us? They could even save us the trip and get the game as well.”

She paused in collecting a few dishes, a devilish grin was dawning on her face. “I like the way you think Shinji.” They shared a laugh and went to their tasks.

Into the night they played the game, Shinji loving the challenge of his opponent while she loudly exclaimed her victories and complained about her losses. At first her antics were grating, but after finally getting a few beers from her he was relaxing and even coming to think of her boisterous declarations as just one of her quirks. It was well into the morning that he came to a startling realization. He was quickly becoming to like Misato as a person and not just a pawn.

The thought brought him hope that maybe he could find happiness in this life where it had eluded him in the last.


***


School found him the next day very tired, he as well had a pretty mild headache; his son’s body was not yet used to consuming alcohol. He had first thought he would be the only one awake that early, but to his surprise, and irritation, Misato was up with him and extremely perky after her morning beer. He had glared and she had responded. “What? Jealous?” She had laughed. “This is old beans to me. Used to do it every night back in school. Though, it does take me a bit longer to wake up than it used to.”

At school he ignored the prattling sheep and sat at his desk, waiting for the teacher to arrive. He pondered his next move with his fellow pilot. Last night the truth had worked and he had opened up to Misato, but he knew Rei well enough that she would not care to get to know him. The reason she attached herself to his old self was because he had created her and showed her the world. It had taken a near death experience with her son against an Angel for them to grow close.

Would the same circumstances work this time? He pondered the idea but dismissed it. He also did not have his son’s ability to fumble his way into the heart’s of women. “Misato, Rei, Asuka…” He counted on his fingers. “Maya.” He amended. He could see why they had grown close to him, at least why Misato and Maya had. Pity. Someone that needed to be protected. What Asuka had seen in him he would never fathom.

As to Rei, she had found warmth in Shinji where there had been very little in her life before. The only person to have shown any kind of concern for her had been himself. That emotion had been reflected through Shinji to Rei. She had opened up to him because she saw Shinji’s actions mirroring Gendo’s.

I just may have to somehow reconstruct similar circumstances. He thought glumly. Rei was a difficult girl to get to know. How had he pursued Yui? He had not. They had grown close as they worked together. Another pang came to him. He had actively gotten to know her because of her connections with Seele. He had forgotten that. The romance had been a wonderful by-product.

“Hey Shinji!” Came Touji’s voice. “You look a little sick. Your Mom forget to give you a good-bye kiss?”

Some of his classmates chuckled. There was one person Shinji was not going to be friendly with. He had ignored him yesterday, but that had been very unsatisfying. “How’s your sister, Touji? Was she able to give you a good-bye kiss this morning?”

The larger boy’s eyes became flinty.

Shinji smiled and continued. “What about your own mother? Did she kiss you this morning with cold, dead, rotting lips?”

Touji snapped and was on his feet. He threw his desk aside and ran forward, red burning in his eyes.

“Touji Suzuhara!” Came the class-rep’s imperious voice.

She was ignored by both boys. As Touji bore down on him Shinji’s hand itched to reach the gun in his shirt, but he dismissed the idea. Instead, he stood up and ducked the boy’s first two wild punches before nailing him in the solar-plexus. In a smooth motion Touji lost his will to fight and crumpled to the ground, grasping his stomach. Like a fish out of water he moved his mouth trying to work air into his lungs. Slowly, he was successful.

A hush fell over the classroom. The only sound was Touji’s attempts to breath.

Shinji shrugged off the silent stares before resuming his seat. With blank eyes he stared at his desk, waiting for the students to recover from their shock and help their fellow student. It happened only a few seconds later.

Upon the teacher’s arrival Hikari explained what had happened and Shinji was called to the principal’s office where is was explained to him that he should not make nasty remarks about people’s dead or hurt family members. “Tell that to Touji. My mom’s been dead for ten years.”

The principle squirmed in his seat at that one and Shinji was made to wait for his guardian. She was less than pleased about the outcome, seeing as it had pulled her from work.

“I—“

“Don’t bother defending yourself,” she said.

He became indignant, their rapport from last night dwindling.

She saw his face and laughed, which brought him confusion. “Let me explain before you get all huffy. There’s no need to defend yourself. He started the fight with an insult, you responded. He attacked you and you dropped him in one blow. You ended what could have become a bad fight without doing any permanent damage to him.”

No permanent damage? He thought. He looked his hand. If he had been five years older and a little stronger that punch would have done serious damage, bruising the tissue horribly. “I see. So no punishment?”

“None that I can see. The principle’s not too happy about it, but he saw my badge. After that he didn’t have any objections.” She laughed.

Shinji shared her mirth.

“Now get back to class, the Commander’s already peeved I had to leave in the middle of a scenario. He was already mad that the Unit 00 test got moved up without his permission. This nearly made him blow a casket!”

“The reactivation?” He asked, trying to sound ignorant.

“Yeah. They wanted to run it in a couple days but the tech teams saw the advanced schedule yesterday and rushed to get everything ready.” She smiled ruefully. “First time I saw him snap at Ritsuko. Speaking of which…you want to see it? It’s this afternoon. Maybe you could escort Rei after class?”

He was going to be there anyway. “Sure. I’ll let her know after class.”

Misato waved her hand. “She already knows.”

The conversation lulled.

“Well, I better get back. Try not to KO anybody else, ‘kay?”

He chuckled. “I’ll try.”

They parted ways and Shinji resumed his stint at school. As it ended he escorted the First Child to her reactivation test. He watched from the control room as the techs and scientists talked dramatically to one another. Misato walked up beside him and rested her hand on his shoulder. “You look tense.”

He gave her a cursory glance before resuming his vigil on Unit 00. “I’m not. I’m just bored.” He lied, only realizing through her observation that he was tense. That he was worried. He knew from past knowledge that the experiment would be a success, but there was a nagging doubt in his mind. Maybe, he had somehow changed the variables by coming back to the past. Maybe, his questions with Rei had changed her mental state. Maybe, moving the experiment ahead a few days had changed things.

Misato gave his shoulder a squeeze before walking away. It seemed odd to her that Shinji would be concerned for Rei. As far as she could tell the two had only shared a few brief encounters.

Shinji watched her go then spied his former self, possessed of a cold stare, but he knew the tension he had in his shoulders was mirrored in the older man’s.

With a sigh he tried to ease his mounting worries. This was the cost of caring and he was startled to learn how much he cared for Rei’s well-being. How much her rebukes at school had stung and how much he just wanted to crawl back into a shell of indifference. Living hurts.

The countdown began and his breath hitched. He clenched his hands and looked away, noting his older self clenching his own hands.

Familiar terms and jargon was tossed around and at the apex of his stress Shinji could take no more. He let the worries and the maybes slide away from his mind. He let them sink from his conscious as he again assumed a cold demeanor.

“Unit 00 has successfully activated!” Hyuga crowed victoriously.

Shinji glanced to him and imagined that crow of victory replaced by a wail of despair as the armies of Rei descended from Heaven’s Door, claiming his soul and body for Intrumentality. Shinji did not want that hell to be revisited on himself, but nor did he want pain of living, either. For the first time since waking up in this strange reality he doubted himself. He resumed a comfortable, aloof state-of-mind; damn the consequences.





Well, there was the next installment. The writing is subpar to my normal and it hitches in a few places, but this is a side project of mine and the editing gets a little rushed. My apologies for the quality. I still hope you guys enjoyed it.

Comments?

There needs to be more of this fic. In fact, there needs to be more Gendou-centric fic in general, but especially this one.

I have a feeling that Asuka's going to love/hate Gendou-Shinji even more than the original.

WANT MOAR! I'm really liking this fic... Gendou tries to outwit himself... It's always interesting to see someone try to outthink themselves...