HERE'S JUST A SMALL SAMPLE OF THE HOT SINGLES YOU CAN CONTACT WHEN YOU JOIN TODAY!
Note: Must be of legal age (13+) to join.


Name: Shinji
Orientation: Straight... I think
Also known as: Idiot
Occupation: EVA pilot
Hobbies: SDAT, playing cello, masturbating
Comments: Um... I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to put here... It's probably pointless anyway. Nobody ever responds to these. I just want someone to talk to since Father won't pay attention to me, I can't look at Rei anymore, aThis profile has been monitored. For security purposes, these comments have been terminated.


Name: Asuka
Orientation: Straight
Also known as: Captain
Occupation: Pilot of the first real Evangelion
Hobbies: Yelling at that idiot Shinji, hiding my true feelings
Comments: You're lucky enough to be reading my dating profile, which means you're smart enough to acknowledge my superiority. That's a start! But are you grown-up enough to handle me?


Name: Rei
Orientation: Asexual
Also known as: Wondergirl
Occupation: Lilim
Hobbies: Reading, floating in a tube of LCL
Comments: -_-


Name: Misato
Orientation: Just because I got drunk and screwed Ritsuko one time does not mean I'm into women!
Also known as: That purple-haired slut
Occupation: CLASSIFIED
Hobbies: Beer, penguinery, forcing children into awkward and dangerous situations
Comments: I'm looking for someone who I'll only realize too late is just like my father. Actually, I'm 29 and pretty desperate, so I'm really willing to settle for pretty much anything. Cooking skills are a plus.




Name: Kaworu
Orientation: CLASSIFIED
Also known as: Tabris
Occupation: Final Messenger
Hobbies: Humming "Ode to Joy", strangling cats
Comments: Still browsing profiles? You never change. I am a boy seeking a Lilim. These dating websites are very convenient, are they not? I feel they are the epitome of the Lilim culture. I look forward to meeting you, lover.

Needs moar characters. Love how Rei's comment was just -_- .

Major win.

Seconded on "needs more characters"! Do ones for Gendo and Fuyutsuki: I have a feeling Hyuuga might use his computer-fu to sign 'em for something like this, as a prank (and he can probably cover his tracks very well).

Yes, Gendo being left out is a terrible omission. I recommend you put Gendo, Maya, Aoba and Kaji in batch two.

Fuckwin

Name: Gendo

Orientation: Yui-sexual

Also Known As: The Ueber-Pimp

Occupation: [Classified]

Hobbies: Becoming God, so nothing can ever be taken away from me again.

Comments: Seeking an attractive scientist with an Electra to manipulate into fulfilling my master plans.

NAveryW wrote:Hobbies: SDAT, playing cello, masturbating

Win!

Um...

I really want to respond to Asuka's profile right now.

This really makes me wish we had a karma system.

Name: Kensuke

Orientation: Electrosexual

Also Known As: The Nerd

Occupation: Pointing cameras at people and spying on girls then selling their pictures.

Hobbies: Electronics, Gundam, Cameras, Peeping

Comments: Seeking a video camera with high resolution, portability and long battery life. Must also like long walks on the beach. I also have a fetish for fancy buttons and keys.

Name: Toji Suzuhara

Orientation: Straight

Also known as: A stooge

Occupation: Jock, Pilot of Unit-04

Hobbies: Basketball, compensating, dwelling on younger sister almost dying, staring at girls in bathing suits.

Comments: I'm looking for someone that's interested in me because no one I know here is really into me. I've been suspecting my for some reason close friend Kensuke but that would be creepy.

THIS THREAD NEEDS MOAR Kaji!

Joseph the PRPD wrote:Orientation: Jock, Pilot of Unit-04

Orientation does not mean what you think it means.

And I love how Kaworu's orientation is CLASSIFIED. It's one of those "I think it's funnier than it really is." things.

Adekis wrote:

Joseph the PRPD wrote:Orientation: Jock, Pilot of Unit-04

Orientation does not mean what you think it means.

Typo, thanks for pointing out.
Edits post

Adekis wrote:And I love how Kaworu's orientation is CLASSIFIED. It's one of those "I think it's funnier than it really is." things.

No such thing; humor is entirely a matter of perception. When trying to decide what to put under Kaworu's orientation, the word "CLASSIFIED" flashed in my mind and I cracked up on the spot.


Name: Hikari
Orientation: Ambiguous
Also known as: Class rep
Occupation: Asuka apologist
Hobbies: Cooking, worrying
Comments: I think it's OK for you to do whatever you want and I won't say anything.

Name: Pen Pen
Orientation: Wark wak wark. Translation: Whatever the big-breasted bringer of beer says I am, I guess.
Also known as: Lovely Penguin
Occupation: Hot Springs Penguin
Hobbies: Drinking beer, making people uncomfortable in bathtubs or hot springs, being OH MY GOD HE'S SO CUTE! to attract hot chicks from all four corners of the world.
Comments: Wark? Wark wark wark. Wark wark wark. Wark!

Joseph the PRPD wrote:Name: Toji Suzuhara

I Love it, especially the tasty flavor text at the end
Actually the EVA04 orientation wasn't unfitting even if , it made him seem like a Mama's boy with a sports fetish, I thought you were making some sort of joke about that

THIS THREAD NEEDS MOAR Kaji!

Meh, I guess so, but whoever makes his profile should note that he only goes for busty purple themed alcoholics, and feminine pilotboys...and watermelons, watermelons of course^^;

Sailor Star Dust wrote:Name: Pen Pen
...
Hobbies: ...being OH MY GOD HE'S SO CUTE! to attract hot chicks from all four corners of the world.

Thanks, we really did need a Pen^2 profile, it wouldn't have been fair to discriminate against him now, would it? I love the ATE bit at the end but doesn't that mean that Asuka's going to take away his net soon?

Lovely Penguin is his description in the Watch Mode versions of Eva2 PSP btw. Thought that was amusing.

Have two more:



Name: Kaji
Orientation: Straight
Also known as: Ryo-chan
Occupation: [CLASSIFIED]
Hobbies: Gardening, flirting with the ladies.
Comments: How about it? Wanna go out for tea?



Name: [CLASSIFIED]. I am known as Lilith.
Orientation: .....
Also known as: Marshmallow lady, Mr. Marshmallow, Rei = Lilith, the giant in [CLASSIFIED].
Occupation: Stealing this planet from that stupid bitch Adam and being the mother of humanity.
Hobbies: Bleeding LCL, causing 3rd Impact.
Comments: -_- I am teh Rei. *bleed bleed*

This is the greatest thread to grace god's once green earth.

^ *faps to the naked "teh Rei".