Aaah. I love this 'fic. It got rejected from an Eva fanfic site because of what it was based on, but I love it anyway. Even if the Conglomerate Asuka/Rei/Misato (or in this case, Asuka/Rei) theory is utterly false. The point of fanfiction is the "what-if" scenario, is it not?

Anyway, that's what I was going for with this.

A warning, as it's Rated M for the "ethereal rape" scene that takes place (by a fairly OOC!Rei). It's written as if Asuka and Rei were combined by Shinji during Third Impact.

It's very old, and a lot of the information might be incorrect (because I wrote it several months after I saw NGE for the very first time).
I'd like criticism and opinions, but don't bother telling me I put the bandages on the wrong side or something, because I already know where I made mistakes related to canon.

But, I hope you find it somewhat enjoyable. (:

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Asuka Langley Sohryu looked into the mirror, and yet the girl she saw looking back at her was not Asuka Langley Sohryu. Her piercing blue eyes were dulled, turned to a shade of unremarkable brown by the hurried desires of a pitiful boy. A boy who played God and tried to remodel the world.

And this is how he had made Asuka. She lifted her arms and felt her muscles stretch. Her bones creaked like ancient relics and her muscles were tight and sore. She still had scars, reddish lace marring her porcelain flesh. Timid fingers brushed the bandages that bound her head, pressed lightly on the pad of gauze that concealed her eye. What was hiding beneath that thin disguise? Her trembling fingers tore at the bandages, unwinding them with great haste. The greyed strips pooled at her feet, and her breaths came in irregular sighs. She screamed with a voice not her own. She, Asuka, was there .. somewhere. But she shared herself with another. She could feel the presence, feel invisible arms snaking around her shoulders and drawing her in to an unseen bosom. Moist lips whispered in her ear, and Asuka felt the strangest of sensations wash over her as the last of the bandages fell away from her face. Her right eye revealed itself, as pained and auburn as the left. Her shoulders slumped in unmistakable disappointment.

Blue. She wanted to see blue again. Blue like the colour the oceans used to be, before Mother spilled her hot blood for her wretched children. Now they were stained red, so red the fish were dying. Faucets sputtered to life and gushed impure water. Humanity’s thirst was powerful, and they drank of the tainted seas, no more pure than Kane himself. A glass of water on the far table came into focus, and Asuka – or whoever she was – could see the reddish hue against the walls. Walls as white as sun-bleached bones. Or, how bones used to be before her crimson essence cut a swath out of the sky. Laughter echoed in her ears and the arms clutched at her chest again. Asuka inhaled sharply as bony fingers seized her breasts roughly. Smooth thumbs massaged her nipples, even as they were hidden under the folds of her clothing. Asuka’s head fell back as it often did, the weak light filtering in from the tiny window cutting across her face.

Strength left her, and she felt herself sag helplessly to the floor. Standard issue beige nap tickled her bare calves. “Please, God..” she whispered, searching for tears but finding none. The soft lips found her ear again and Asuka could feel silken strands rubbing gently against her cheek.

“But I defy God..” said the voice, and the laughter echoed again. The fingers traced her numerous scars, counting them quietly with a soothing rhythm. “Why do you do this to yourself? Do I not make you happy?” Asuka felt the greedy hands tugging her down, down. Down to the floor until her hair haloed her head and she was staring up at the ceiling with its cracking, peeling paint. The invisible fingers ghosted across her stomach and down to her navel where they swirled endlessly. Asuka arched involuntarily and squeezed her eyes shut. Images rushed past in a flurry of thoughts. The living seas, the Earth, the egg, the Lance. The Eva series and the blue-haired demon. Wonder Girl. Shinji and Misato and the penguin. And Rei. A low, sinister giggle brought her out of her thoughts and Asuka squirmed as the fingers crept up her thighs like spiders. Slow, deliberate footsteps that made Asuka feel like her world was shattering. Again. The air was heavy and she was immersed in a familiar scent. It was musky and seemed to pour endlessly into her. She felt strange, as if her body simply refused to do what she wanted it to. She wanted to scream, but she knew that if she did she’d hear that unnatural echo that didn’t belong. That echo that kept her from being Asuka Langley Sohryu. The echo that was stealing her identity.

The fingers reached their head and stopped. Asuka felt a thousand thousand empty faces grinning down at her lasciviously. She drew in yet another musk-laden breath slowly, as if it were to be her last. She was a sight, panting there on the floor, powerless to resist. She arched as the fingers invaded, twisting up inside her even as she willed them not to. Nails dug into her palms and blood trickled onto the carpet. The fibers turned dark brown. Brown like her eyes. She could feel the pain, but did nothing to stop it. The blood flowed and its stink was powerful. The bony digits continued to press into her, deeper and deeper until they could go no farther. And yet they twisted and prodded roughly. She who wanted to be Asuka wished for death at that moment, and yet could not deny that the sensations were desirable.

“I defy God..” said the voice again, and the fingers withdrew just as Asuka was within reach of her release. The fingers never allowed release. Simply brought her up to it and then left her to weep helplessly on the floor. Left her violated and without self. Without purpose.

She who wished to be Asuka ran her hand over her face. She was she who looked and felt like Asuka, and yet she was not who she perceived herself to be. Her shadow-rimmed eyes flew open, and once again a demon loomed over her. The face spoke of virginal innocence. Her hair was a sweet halo of the most delicate azure. The moistened lips were drawn into a thin line, the deep red eyes simply looking. Asuka drew into herself, willing her eyes to look away from it. It who routinely invaded her in search of power.

“Why can’t you just go away? God, please send her away. I want myself. I want Momma. I want freedom. God, help me..”

The girl’s hands brushed the sweat-dampened strands of red away. A shadow slid across her face as the girl descended. The girl who was not a girl.

“But I told you.. I defy God.”

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I flinch now, as I await judgement. (:

Whoa. Creepy Rei is creepy.

I like it quite a lot...it gives me ideas for if I ever write an NGE fic. Or the infamous The Darkness/NGE crossover I blab about in the IRC.

Love it!

Yay! Thank you!