MOAR. NOW.

(Seriously, though, I'm starting to get bored with all these new topics and threads here. They're not fascinating enough-I DESPERATELY NEED SOMETHING FUNNY AND ENTERTAINING!!!!!!)

New chapter!

New years was a bitch.Partys...bleagh!!

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Fuyustki had been slipping.Since the commander wasn't around,he had
no one to keep him on his toes.Fuyutski didn't care.He was planing to
retire soon anyways,I mean damn,fuyustki was OLD.He looked up from
the commanders desk that was littered with empty liquor bottles and
"Over 60" porno mags...

*BEEP*

"Fuyustski sir?There are some men in white uniforms here to see you."

"Hmm?What for?"

"They didn't say sir."

"*sigh* Tell them I'll be down soon."

"Yes sir."

*CLICK*

Fuyutski clicked of the intercom and straightened his suit and tie.
He walked to the elevator and hit the buttom to the bridge.The doors slid
open and he stepped out.Major katsuragi passed by him wearing a skin tight leather outfit and was saying somthing about "Spoons" and how there
were none.

He rounded the corner and saw two men in white suit's talking to luitenant
ibuki.

"There he is,grab him!"

"Oh,piss crackers!"

*WHAM*

Fuyutski was tackled to the ground by the two men.One of them produced
a needle and stuck fuyutski with it.Before he blacked out,fuyutski saw
one of the mans name tags...

SHITTY SHEETS NURSING HOME

"Damn-it..."

Shitty sheets nursing home

When fuyutski awoke,he wasn't in his own bed.He wasn't even in his own home.He surveyed the room and saw a rocking chair,a tv bolted to the
wall and a wheelchair in the corner.He knew exactly where he was.
The pee pee tube coming from under the sheets didn't help things.

"No no no no,not yet...NOT YET!!!"

Suddenly an alarm went off and a sqaud of orderlys in full riot gear
burst through the door with stun batons.The pee pee and doo doo bags
were instantly filled.

"No please help!I..I havn't been to hawaii yet!!!"

*SMACKBZZZZzzzzzt!!!*

"Yaaarghhhh!!!"

"Stop resisting!!"Yelled and orderly.

"Im not I..."

"SMACKBZZZZZzzzzzt!!!!*

"YEEEOOWWWWW!!!"

"Hit em' with the sedatives!"

An orderly pulled a needle a stuck it deeper than what was needed in fuyutskis neck...ow.The orderlys from hell held fuyutski until he stoped twitching and slowly left the room.But not before buckling leather straps
around fuyutskis body...to keep him visitor friendly.

After awhile,there was a knock a fuyutskis door."

"Were coming in,hope your not naked!God I hope not..."

The door opened and in came Misato,ritsuko and all the bridge bunnys.

"Whats going on?"Said fuyutski grogely.

"Well sir,ya see,me and the crew were talking and we decided that your recently aquired position of power may have led you to some bad habbits."Began ritsuko.

"Yeah,what with all the liquor,the loose women...the loose men..."
Misato added.

"Out of concern for your health we decided it would be in NERVS,and your best intrest in you were put in a more safer inviroment."Said maya.

Fuyutski wanted to tell them about the riot orderlys but was afraid of
the resulting stun baton barage.Aoba pulled a baloon attached to a rock
that said happy birthday with a clown on it and sat it on the table by
fuyutskis bed.

"So ummm....yeah,bye."Said ritsuko as they all left.

"Fuyutski blinked twice,scratched his arm,cut on the tv and watched
Montel...
_____________________________________
Short and depressing...just like life.

The next one will get back to the main storyline so...yeah.

Oh wow we got new smilieys!!!

Yeah that last chapter was REALLY short.
Wich is why this one is gonna be longer......I swear!

_________________________________________________

"Where the hell IS Shinji anyway?"Said Rei as she looked around
the resturaunt.

"Think he bitched out during the fight?"Commented jay.

"We better start looking,there's no telling what kind of sick and depraved
things people will do to Shinji...They might put him in a dress and put
make up on him and place him on a stage and force him to sing
'like a virgin' infront drunk and horny men all the time a mean pimp
holding apuppy at gunpoint so he'll cooperate!!!"Said Asuka nearly fainting.

"Having a bad memory there Asuka chan?"Said Rei with an evil smile creeping into her feature's.

"Shut up Rei!!"Yelled Asuka defensivly.Although trying to hide the pain
on the outside,on the inside Asuka could still hear the helpless yelps
of the puppy and gun shot that followed...

"No time for past regrets!We've got to find my son before he goe's through anymore mentel trauma...I swear that kids gonna be the next
Dhamer."Sighed gendo.

The group then began looking through the pooey remains of the resturaunt for Shinji.Asuka looked behind the bar while Rei looked under a nearby mexican.Gendo looked in the ladys restroom.

"Knowing Shinji."He sighed as he searched each stall.

Jay and bob looked in the kitchen but got boared after two seconds and
lit up a fatty.

After searching for half an hour,they all realized that this resturaunt was no bigger that a 711 and if they hadn't found Shinji yet,then he wasn't there...dumbasses.

"Damnit Shinji where are you?!"Yelled gendo to the gods expecting an answer.As always the gods didn't answer back.
Rei and Asuka kept silent with worry trying to figure out where Shinji could have gone.Then a voice spoke up.

"Dey took your son during de fiiight."Said a random mexican who had been chilling in the corner this whole time.

"You are you?!Who took Shinji?!Spill it before I tell you how wet your back is!!!" Demanded gendo grabbing the mexican by the coller.

"And you let me go before I tell you how small your penis is,senoir!"

Asuka and Rei gave a silent "Eww."

"Very well.Now...please tell me who took my son and where."

"During de fiiight,two men wearing gimp masks knocked out your
son and took down the street into de redlight district.That is all I know senoir."

"Rei,shoryu,pot heads,move out!"Commanded gendo as he brushed by the mexican twords the door.

"Ahem!"

Gendo turned around to see the mexican holding out his hand expecting
payment for his help.

"Ahh yes.Hear ya go."Said gendo handing the mexican somthing.

After they left,the mexican unfolded his hand to see what gendo had given
him.....it was a chewing gum wrapper.

"Damn you senoir!I will have my revenge!You have not seen the last of..
.....Senoir tacobelloooooo!!!!"

It was then senoir tacobello swore his vegence against gando ikari.

Red light district

Gendo,Rei and Asuka serached the red light district for the two men in gimp masks thatapparently kidnaped Shinji,witch was VERY hard to do
since gendo,jay and bob,being men,wre easily distracted.That,and there were a lot of people wearing gimpmasks.

"He dude,that looks like your mom!HAHAH!Oh wait...that is your mom....."Said jay.

Gendo was walking by a pawn shop when he saw a bald man in a brown
jaket carrying a bloodykatana came out and rode off on a motor cycle.

"Huh?"

Rei and Asuka were going around asking whore's if they had seen Shinji
around.Soon they were approched by the alpha whore AKA "The madam".

"You two girl's could make me a lot of money.."Said the madam as she
examined Rei and Asuka young body's."

"What do you say hmmm?I hear you blue headed ones are really popular
today."

"Like hell we will!"Yelled Rei as she batted the madams hand away.

"Yeah,what she said.Beside's if your customers knew Rei's little secrets
I daught they would be coming around for her lovin'"Asuka said stepping
in.

"Oh?What?She has a dick or somthing?So what,I get men who request that sort of thing all the time."

"Rei,show her."Said Asuka.

Rei then produced her little black bag that she always kept on her person.
Out from it she pulled a jar with a very prized organ in it...the kind of organ men would hate to loose.On the jar was a label with R.Jeremy
written on it.

"My most prized trophy!I had to go all the way to LA the get THIS baby!"
Rei then gave a evil cackle of delight at the madams expression.

"Still wanna recruit us?"Said Asuka.

"Umm I have clients waiting..."The madam made a hasty retreat.

Elswear,gendo was emerging from a nearby allyway with with look of shame on his face.

"So,did you find out anything?"Asked Rei.

"I have a lead,but the info wasn't free..."Gendo said as he whiped
a white substance from the corner of his mouth.

"Great!Were coming Shinji,hold on!"

"Wait,we gotta find jay and bob first!"

"It's no use,shoryu.The have fallen to the power of the poon."

Gendo pointed over a strip club and through the window sat jay and bob
getting lapdances.

"There is...no hope for them now."Said gendo gravely.

"Fine then!Let them get there STD's!Im going after my Shinji!"

"Your Shinji?!Just who do you think you are?He's not just some piece of
property you can claim as you own!"Rei fired back.

"Stop!Both of you just stop!Shinji is most likly geting gang raped and you
two a fighting?!Save it for the doujin fighter!!!"Gendo interupted.

"Your right commander.Keep your asshole closed tight Shinji were on our way!!"

And with Asuka's battle cry they sped off into the musky red haze that was destiny...

______________________________________________
destiny...More like shitty luck.

Well there you go.hope you liked it.

Im gonna try to bring out evil Rei more.I like evil Rei.

Shinji is just gonna go down hill pretty damn fast from here on out.

Jay and bob will return but I don't know when.

And please leavea comment a tell me what YOU would like to see.

Damn...gendo is going the field for his son eh?I mean damn he went far...

muahahaha! niiice. howabout gendo snaps back into his mood or something lol. Keep it goin, kyle! I like evil Rei too! =D