WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Mountain. 'Eavy are da mountainz, sumfing dat changz thruu da agz. Sky. Bloo sky. Sumfin' vizibul, sumfing' invizibul. Da sun.Sumfin' uniqwe. Wata. Sumfin' agreeabul. Warboss Ikari. Flowaz. Many o' dim aloik, many o' dim useliss. Sky. Red, red sky. Red colar. Red color dat meeb 'ate. Wata flow. Blood. Da smelie o' blood. A female 'umie dat does nub bleed. Made from da red soil are 'umies. Made by 'umie an' female 'umie are 'umies. Town. Sumfin' dat 'umies made. Eva. Sumfin' dat 'umies made. 'umies are wot? Sumfin' for da boyz to clobba da lot of. 'umies are fingz which da orkzez fight. Da fingz meeb possez ar' mi clobba' an dakka. Da vessel o' a WAAAAGH!. Entry plug, da throne o' da boyz.

Oose this? This iz meeb. Who be meeb? Wot be meeb? Wot be meeb? Wot be meeb? Wot be meeb?

Meeb be meself. Dis objekt iz meeb, da figur which forms meeb. Diz iz da meeb dat iz visibul, tho' it feels as if this iz nub meeb. A strange feelin'. Mi body seems as if it iz meltin'. Meeb cannot see myself. Mi figur iz fadin' away. Meeb be aware o' sumone else. Oose there before meeb? Dat Ikari grot. Me know dis 'umie. 'Umie bossKatzuragi. Mad Dok Akagi. 'umies, mi classmatz. Da pilot o' Oonit Twuu. Warboss Ikari. Who'z ya? Who are ya? Wot'z ya?

What the hell.

Orcs cannot withstand the power of my true self. (Chee transforms into his own giant floating head, which is made entirely of asbestos, houses paratroopers, fires nasal plasma beams, and has a mechanical cackle)

Oi! Diz thred hear needz more dakka! i needz ta get my shoota, i got it fer a lot of teef (an' i mean a lot!) from da Big Mek

Okay fine, "orkz".

FIRE THE NASAL PLASMA CANNONS! DESTROY THEM ALL!

(You see, I am the captain of my own giant floating head.)

DEZE SHOOTAS NEED MORE DAKKA

Oy, ya ignorant gitz. I's sick of all dis "puny dakka" wot been goin' on in me WAAAGH right now. Shootaz is more dakka den dat. Gobs more dakka.

If some git don't think I know what I'm talking about, I'll crump 'im good. I got me a Shoota from a Mekboy fer loadz uv teef (an' I mean loadz) and 'ave been blasty wid it for a real long time now. I can even crump a Squiggoth wiv it.

Bad Moon Mekboyz spend minnitz workin' on just one Shoota an dey put up to a million gubbinz on it to produce the finest Shootas known to da orkz.

Shootaz is lots more shooty than 'umie gunz and lots more 'ard, too. Anything a 'umie can shoot, a boy with a Shoota can shoot betta. I's bettin' all my teef that a Shoota could take down a Titan wit' no problem.

Wanna know why dem Beaky Boyz can't evah beat Orks in battle? Dat's right, cuz dey's scared of Shootaz. Even at Armor-geddum, da 'umies shot da boyz wiv Shootas first. Dat's coz Shootaz 'ave loads uv dakka and dey know it.

So wot, you sez? I'll tell you wot, ya stupid git. Shootas is da most dakka dere evah was, an' we need real wunz, not dese puny fings. 'ere'z wot dey need:

More Dakka
Iron Gobz
More Dakka
Dakka
Spikez
Fixa Grot
Red paint
Stikkbomb Chucka
Shootier
Blasta
More Dakka
Bolt-on Burna
Bolt-on Rokkit Launcha
Turbo Boosta
Big Grabba
Bolt-on Big Shoota
More Dakka
Ammo Squig
WAAAGH
Beer
WAAAAAAGH

Now dat's wot I call a Shoota.

Da short uv it is, Shootaz need more dakka.

"Shootas", you say?

ADJUST STARBOARD THURSTERS! STABILIZE! DIVERT ALL POWER TO THE INNER EAR CANAL!!

Gurk da Boy waited. Da lightz above 'im blinked an' sparked outta da air. There waz 'umies in da rok. 'e din't see 'em, but 'ad expektid 'em now for yearz. 'is warningz ta warboss Ugrakarma waz not listenend an' now it waz too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Gurk waz a member of dis here WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! for fourteen minnitz. When 'e was young 'e watched da kill kroozers an' 'e said ta boss "I wanna be on da shipz boss."
Boss said "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! No! ya will be KILL BY 'UMIES!"
Thar wuz a time when 'e believed 'im. Then as 'e got oldered 'e stopped. But now in da rok of warboss ugarkarma's WAAAAAGH! 'e know thar iz 'umies.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" da gubbins crackered. "You must fight da beekies!!"
So Gurk gotted 'is choppa an' 'is dakka an' blew up da wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said da beekie boyz
"I WILL CRUSH THOSE WHO STAND BEFORE ME" said da dradnougth an' he fired some rokkit fingz. Gurk dakkaed at 'im an' tried to blew 'im up. But then da ceiling fell an' dey waz traped an' not able da fight o' win.
"No! I must clobba da 'umies" he shouted
Da radio gubbinz zed "No, Gurk. You are da 'umies"
And den Gurk wuz a guardsmen.

No, that was directed towards my bridge crew: they are Commander Jorge Luis Borges, Vice Commander Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Major Nicholas Cage, Lieutenant Cher, Corporal Fem-Kaworu, Ensign James Brown and Petty Officer Michelin Man.

MaggotMaster wrote:

Gurk da Boy waited. Da lightz above 'im blinked an' sparked outta da air. There waz 'umies in da rok. 'e din't see 'em, but 'ad expektid 'em now for yearz. 'is warningz ta warboss Ugrakarma waz not listenend an' now it waz too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Gurk waz a member of dis here WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! for fourteen minnitz. When 'e was young 'e watched da kill kroozers an' 'e said ta boss "I wanna be on da shipz boss." Boss said "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! No! ya will be KILL BY 'UMIES!" Thar wuz a time when 'e believed 'im. Then as 'e got oldered 'e stopped. But now in da rok of warboss ugarkarma's WAAAAAGH! 'e know thar iz 'umies. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" da gubbins crackered. "You must fight da beekies!!" So Gurk gotted 'is choppa an' 'is dakka an' blew up da wall. "HE GOING TO KILL US" said da beekie boyz "I WILL CRUSH THOSE WHO STAND BEFORE ME" said da dradnougth an' he fired some rokkit fingz. Gurk dakkaed at 'im an' tried to blew 'im up. But then da ceiling fell an' dey waz traped an' not able da fight o' win. "No! I must clobba da 'umies" he shouted Da radio gubbinz zed "No, Gurk. You are da 'umies" And den Gurk wuz a guardsmen.

No, MaggotMaster. YOU are the....erm, something witty.

this needs a sticky.

In da end of evanjelly-un rei da mekboy becomes da warboss and 'e WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! all ova da 'umie planet

RED ALERT! LEFT MOLAR MALFUNCTIONING!! AAGGH!! ABANDON SHIP!!!

(Chee screams while spinning around in his chair, finally succumbing to his delusions.)

Needs more Nadsat, so "Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!" :P

Oh, and this thread needs Werewolf Asuka, though Orc Rei made me lol. (Best. Silliest Bday gift. EVAR.)